Things you want to share with P&B

[ScottR96]

Bit harsh.

I'm just jealous

[ShakehandsTom - DFC]

My dream from last night was rather odd. I dreamt that on the first day of next season, we lost 2-1 to Dunfermline at East End Park. Now, that's not very odd or strange, I hear you say. However, on this occasion, EEP only had one stand. We gave it a good go but were beaten in the end. Although, one of our players had a shot in the last minute from about 25 yards, which took four deflections on the way through, and was then tipped round the post for a corner by Dunfermline goalkeeper Lee McCulloch (yes, that Lee McCulloch). We were raging that the referee awarded a corner, and were adamant at the final whistle that it was the award of the corner, which cost us the game.

Very strange indeed.

[Hedgecutter]

Went and saw Angel's Share yesterday and genuinely laughed out loud when greying lower league superstars Charlie Miller and Andy McLaren popped up in minor roles, both trying to act like Big Man. The laughing wasn't a problem seeing as the other half and I were the only ones in that screen - weird.

[port-ton]

I battered John O'Shea in my dream last night.

[tinkerbelle]

The application process in now open to appear on Deal or no Deal on channel 4. Took me over an hour last night to try and apply but the final send failed.I just shut down the computer in a royal huff. Lol

Good luck if you want to try cos it could be easy money if you get on the show.

[gingapar]

My dream from last night was rather odd. I dreamt that on the first day of next season, we lost 2-1 to Dunfermline at East End Park. Now, that's not very odd or strange, I hear you say. However, on this occasion, EEP only had one stand. We gave it a good go but were beaten in the end. Although, one of our players had a shot in the last minute from about 25 yards, which took four deflections on the way through, and was then tipped round the post for a corner by Dunfermline goalkeeper Lee McCulloch (yes, that Lee McCulloch). We were raging that the referee awarded a corner, and were adamant at the final whistle that it was the award of the corner, which cost us the game.

Very strange indeed.

If that happens, i'll fellate a spaniel.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

If that happens, i'll fellate a spaniel.

Cocker sucker.

[dundeebarry]

An ill-advised 1am bike ride across the Tay Bridge on a friend's bike on Saturday past resulted in me going arse-for-tit over the handle bars and breaking my collar bone. As I was mid-air I thought, "f**k, this is going to hurt," and sure enough my shoulder-first return to concrete was a sore one. After lying moaning in the fog on the bridge's central reservation for a few minutes, I tentatively checked my shoulder and found a nasty bump that, to the best of my limited anatomical knowledge, wasn't meant to be there. Hospital time.

I managed to drag myself back to my mate's house in City Quay then got taxied to Ninewells. A&E was mercifully quiet. I had a nurse take a top quality Jackass-style photo of me with the x-ray of my first broken bone. I was quite drunk and handling the pain well. Alcohol's a great natural anaesthetic. It was quite the carry on. I went home with the promise to return to the fracture unit first thing in the morning.

I woke up hurting like f**k. With the booze worn off the grim reality of a broken bone kicked in. It was fucking painful. When I got up to the hospital the doc started testing out my injury. When he manoeuvred it into a sling the pain was awful. I managed to say, "Mate, I feel a bit faint here," before the lights went out. Next thing I know I'm waking up on my back on the floor, halfway outside the cubicle into the corridor of the ward. Three nurses are over me dabbing my head with a damp cloth and trying to help me up. Fucking shambles.

I went to the doctor today, and scored the following:

Two weeks off work

100 codeine-based pain killers

A bottle of laxatives.

Apparently the pills will give me constipation. I beg to differ. Having been on them since the weekend I've maintained a regular turd regime. Why even just half an hour ago I dropped something much like King Kong's thumb into the bog. I shit like a champ, ain't no need for further assistance.

So anyway, that's me all set for two weeks of getting high and pebble-dashing the toilet. Let the good times roll.

[IainMorton]

Walking down to the bus stop from work this evening and two females stopped me in the street. I thought my luck was in until they asked if I was the Real Radio Renegade.

[Reynard]

An ill-advised 1am bike ride across the Tay Bridge on a friend's bike on Saturday past resulted in me going arse-for-tit over the handle bars and breaking my collar bone. As I was mid-air I thought, "f**k, this is going to hurt," and sure enough my shoulder-first return to concrete was a sore one. After lying moaning in the fog on the bridge's central reservation for a few minutes, I tentatively checked my shoulder and found a nasty bump that, to the best of my limited anatomical knowledge, wasn't meant to be there. Hospital time.

I managed to drag myself back to my mate's house in City Quay then got taxied to Ninewells. A&E was mercifully quiet. I had a nurse take a top quality Jackass-style photo of me with the x-ray of my first broken bone. I was quite drunk and handling the pain well. Alcohol's a great natural anaesthetic. It was quite the carry on. I went home with the promise to return to the fracture unit first thing in the morning.

I woke up hurting like f**k. With the booze worn off the grim reality of a broken bone kicked in. It was fucking painful. When I got up to the hospital the doc started testing out my injury. When he manoeuvred it into a sling the pain was awful. I managed to say, "Mate, I feel a bit faint here," before the lights went out. Next thing I know I'm waking up on my back on the floor, halfway outside the cubicle into the corridor of the ward. Three nurses are over me dabbing my head with a damp cloth and trying to help me up. Fucking shambles.

I went to the doctor today, and scored the following:

Two weeks off work

100 codeine-based pain killers

A bottle of laxatives.

Apparently the pills will give me constipation. I beg to differ. Having been on them since the weekend I've maintained a regular turd regime. Why even just half an hour ago I dropped something much like King Kong's thumb into the bog. I shit like a champ, ain't no need for further assistance.

So anyway, that's me all set for two weeks of getting high and pebble-dashing the toilet. Let the good times roll.

Try and get those on repeat prescription. That could pay for a couple of decent foreign holidays every year. Every cloud..

[broon-loon]

An ill-advised 1am bike ride across the Tay Bridge on a friend's bike on Saturday past resulted in me going arse-for-tit over the handle bars and breaking my collar bone. As I was mid-air I thought, "f**k, this is going to hurt," and sure enough my shoulder-first return to concrete was a sore one. After lying moaning in the fog on the bridge's central reservation for a few minutes, I tentatively checked my shoulder and found a nasty bump that, to the best of my limited anatomical knowledge, wasn't meant to be there. Hospital time.

I managed to drag myself back to my mate's house in City Quay then got taxied to Ninewells. A&E was mercifully quiet. I had a nurse take a top quality Jackass-style photo of me with the x-ray of my first broken bone. I was quite drunk and handling the pain well. Alcohol's a great natural anaesthetic. It was quite the carry on. I went home with the promise to return to the fracture unit first thing in the morning.

I woke up hurting like f**k. With the booze worn off the grim reality of a broken bone kicked in. It was fucking painful. When I got up to the hospital the doc started testing out my injury. When he manoeuvred it into a sling the pain was awful. I managed to say, "Mate, I feel a bit faint here," before the lights went out. Next thing I know I'm waking up on my back on the floor, halfway outside the cubicle into the corridor of the ward. Three nurses are over me dabbing my head with a damp cloth and trying to help me up. Fucking shambles.

I went to the doctor today, and scored the following:

Two weeks off work

100 codeine-based pain killers

A bottle of laxatives.

Apparently the pills will give me constipation. I beg to differ. Having been on them since the weekend I've maintained a regular turd regime. Why even just half an hour ago I dropped something much like King Kong's thumb into the bog. I shit like a champ, ain't no need for further assistance.

So anyway, that's me all set for two weeks of getting high and pebble-dashing the toilet. Let the good times roll.

What about the troops on bee watch...? They act at your slightest whimper or command............! They might ignore the fact that you are 'on medication' (most will have probably been there...) but I'm no sure they have the stomach for the massive clean up at Heid Honcho HQ that obviously comes with a 'bottle of laxatives'....?

As ever, awaiting further orders.......I think..?

[dundeebarry]

Try and get those on repeat prescription. That could pay for a couple of decent foreign holidays every year. Every cloud..

That's a very good shout, actually. I'm no expert but I think 30mg is a decent dosage. I'm no drug dealer, but it's high time I started dealing drugs.

Any c**t need some pills? PM me. Free thimble of laxative with every purchase.

[dundeebarry]

What about the troops on bee watch...? They act at your slightest whimper or command............! They might ignore the fact that you are 'on medication' (most will have probably been there...) but I'm no sure they have the stomach for the massive clean up at Heid Honcho HQ that obviously comes with a 'bottle of laxatives'....?

As ever, awaiting further orders.......I think..?

At ease, soldier. There's a distinct difference between the call-to-arms sounded on a bugle and the more tuba-like parp of my laxative-fueled dowp. Also, the gaseous emissions may ward off enemy attacks. My rectal odour is a more pungent form of mustard gas. French mustard, none of that English bullshit.

[BigMartyn86]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BcX4p5f5K6U

[Dazzle]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BcX4p5f5K6U

Was laughing so hard I had to pause it when I watched it the first time. Laughed just as much when I seen it on BBC3 throught the week.

[Long live the 69]

Dressing up as the policeman from the Village People for a birthday tomorrow. Had to borrow my younger sisters leather jacket and a helmet from elsewhere (not dirty comments now ladies )

Feel like a macho man indeed!

[uni]

I'm starting to accept the notion that Amy MacDonald's newest track ("Slow it Down") is one of my all time favourites.

[Broken Algorithms]

An ill-advised 1am bike ride across the Tay Bridge on a friend's bike on Saturday past resulted in me going arse-for-tit over the handle bars and breaking my collar bone. As I was mid-air I thought, "f**k, this is going to hurt," and sure enough my shoulder-first return to concrete was a sore one. After lying moaning in the fog on the bridge's central reservation for a few minutes, I tentatively checked my shoulder and found a nasty bump that, to the best of my limited anatomical knowledge, wasn't meant to be there. Hospital time.

I broke my collarbone playing football a few years back. I'd been ripped for pace by my mate, and I clipped his heel and then went over. Despite an audible crack, and a few "ooooft....ooosha", I reached the conclusion that I'd torn a ligament and it that it wasn't much to worry about. The next day and spending time agony when trying to move my arm, I said "here, maw, I think this is broken". Naturally, being the caring matriarch she said "naw, I don't think it is. You can go to hospital if you want...". Sadly, this question was asked mere hours before the first Fife derby in nearly a decade, and so I decided to head off to East End Park to watch Rovers get skelped 3-1 while sitting in utter agony. The following day, and a trip to A&E happened where I said to the doctor "I don't think its broken"...which was met with a swift reply of getting telt.

Sadly, this occurred two weeks before the start of Uni. The upside was that when heading out with my arm in a sling, I was from time to time accosted by different lassies asking if I was alright.

[LC1876=)]

I broke my collarbone playing football a few years back. I'd been ripped for pace by my mate, and I clipped his heel and then went over. Despite an audible crack, and a few "ooooft....ooosha", I reached the conclusion that I'd torn a ligament and it that it wasn't much to worry about. The next day and spending time agony when trying to move my arm, I said "here, maw, I think this is broken". Naturally, being the caring matriarch she said "naw, I don't think it is. You can go to hospital if you want...". Sadly, this question was asked mere hours before the first Fife derby in nearly a decade, and so I decided to head off to East End Park to watch Rovers get skelped 3-1 while sitting in utter agony. The following day, and a trip to A&E happened where I said to the doctor "I don't think its broken"...which was met with a swift reply of getting telt.

Sadly, this occurred two weeks before the start of Uni. The upside was that when heading out with my arm in a sling, I was from time to time accosted by different lassies asking if I was alright.

Making noises like that, should have been you're clue, that something was up.

[DAFC.]

Had a dream I won the European Cup with Aston Villa the other night, and lifted the grand trophy with one hand, making a picture perfect moment. The same day, I drove up to Hampden to witness the Pars beat Hearts to win the League Cup, and was given permission to lift it.