Hedgecutter Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 57 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: ^^Kissed on the bottom My arse is not a canvas. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I was given my first professional massage today. I was told it would be a relaxing experience. I would strongly argue against that. Anyone find such things 'relaxing'? More info req'd. Which part of your corpse was being 'massaged' ? What flavour of 'essential oylz' were used ? Did you manage to uncover the hidden camera ? Was it a CFNM arrangement ? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand.............................was the 'sounds of a forest waterfall' a good accompaniment to your 'Happy End' ? TIA . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said: My arse is not a canvas. If it was would it be a Botty-celli? I thank you! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 The Stranraer goalkeeper's display here might be the funniest thing I've seen in months. The initial f**k up isn't even the best bit, it's his actions afterwards. Almost like "Am open mate!!" (Skip to 19:19) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 6 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: The Stranraer goalkeeper's display here might be the funniest thing I've seen in months. The initial f**k up isn't even the best bit, it's his actions afterwards. Almost like "Am open mate!!" (Skip to 19:19) outpaced by Big Kieran too! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 10 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Brace yourselves Ladies, he's back on the market. Why limit to ladies…$21.7 billion and 92…hell, I’d take a swing for the team, then buy it off Sim! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 It's funny how some of these wealthy auld buggers are desperate to be married. You'd think Murdoch would be happy to pay for a team of care providers and the occasional expensive escort for when Mr Winky is awake (or, more realistically, he can't find anyone else willing to listen to his exciting tales of making newspaper editors and Prime Ministers cry). He's bound to know that nobody actually likes him by this point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 2 minutes ago, BTFD said: It's funny how some of these wealthy auld buggers are desperate to be married. You'd think Murdoch would be happy to pay for a team of care providers and the occasional expensive escort for when Mr Winky is awake (or, more realistically, he can't find anyone else willing to listen to his exciting tales of making newspaper editors and Prime Ministers cry). He's bound to know that nobody actually likes him by this point. I think he's at least very aware his kids don't like him and that's why he's desperate to have a dame to leave the inheritance to. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 1 minute ago, carpetmonster said: I think he's at least very aware his kids don't like him and that's why he's desperate to have a dame to leave the inheritance to. In that case, I'm with @TxRover. What's the worst the shrivelled auld coot could demand? @RH33 - send him a Tweet and report back. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, BTFD said: In that case, I'm with @TxRover. What's the worst the shrivelled auld coot could demand? @RH33 - send him a Tweet and report back. I'm planning on going down the J Howard Marshall, or at least pretending to be, route. Tell some wee burd I've won the lottery, spend my incontinent days dribbling over a wee young thing (or at least that'll be my excuse for dribbling) and say I'll leave it all to her. By the time she's found out that 'all' was a signed Mogwai CD and 14 quid I'll be away and she'll have learned a lesson in not to be so naive. Everyone wins. Maybe. ETA - it's the "Les Revenants" soundtrack, if that tickles anyone's pickle. Edited April 5, 2023 by carpetmonster 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 2 minutes ago, carpetmonster said: I'm planning on going down the J Howard Marshall, or at least pretending to be, route. Tell some wee burd I've won the lottery, spend my incontinent days dribbling over a wee young thing (or at least that'll be my excuse for dribbling) and say I'll leave it all to her. By the time she's found out that 'all' was a signed Mogwai CD and 14 quid I'll be away and she'll have learned a lesson in not to be so naive. Everyone wins. Maybe. ETA - it's the "Les Revenants" soundtrack, if that tickles anyone's pickle. Murdoch's surely the type to have his entire fortune burned next to his grave and a video of himself laughing hysterically. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 1 minute ago, BTFD said: Murdoch's surely the type to have his entire fortune burned next to his grave and a video of himself laughing hysterically. Could it be justified? He's certainly ancient. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 4 minutes ago, carpetmonster said: Could it be justified? He's certainly ancient. Does he drive an ice cream van? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, carpetmonster said: Could it be justified? He's certainly ancient. Imagine burning a million quid for a punk rock artistic statement, thinking that people will talk about it forever, only for Rupert fucking Murdoch to steal your thunder. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Raidernation said: Does he drive an ice cream van? You're thinking of Rupert Grint, rather than Rupert Murdoch mate. You might have misheard it as Rupert c**t and put 2 and 2 together. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 10 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I was given my first professional massage today. I was told it would be a relaxing experience. I would strongly argue against that. Anyone find such things 'relaxing'? Thai massage is brutal. Oil massage is a bit no.no for me. Anyway, I've been on gardening duties from P&B my own choice, however today is fifty(50) degree and I can't hold the hoe as it's too hot. Few beers to celebrate the Chasksi day (Royal Family History Day). Keeping it real. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 1 hour ago, SlipperyP said: Thai massage is brutal. Oil massage is a bit no.no for me. Anyway, I've been on gardening duties from P&B my own choice, however today is fifty(50) degree and I can't hold the hoe as it's too hot. Few beers to celebrate the Chasksi day (Royal Family History Day). Keeping it real. Never Too Hot To Ho'.........................................One of NWA's lesser-known choonz........... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 2 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Thai massage is brutal. Oil massage is a bit no.no for me. Anyway, I've been on gardening duties from P&B my own choice, however today is fifty(50) degree and I can't hold the hoe as it's too hot. Few beers to celebrate the Chasksi day (Royal Family History Day). Keeping it real. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 10 hours ago, carpetmonster said: You're thinking of Rupert Grint, rather than Rupert Murdoch mate. You might have misheard it as Rupert c**t and put 2 and 2 together. Fair play. At least he realised he was a shite actor after Harry Potter. I wish Emma Watson would take note. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 (edited) 13 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: Fair play. At least he realised he was a shite actor after Harry Potter. I wish Emma Watson would take note. He's still acting. I saw that Cabin in the Woods film and spent the first third thinking, "hang on, he looks familiar". He was pretty good TBF. At no point did I think about wizards 'n' shit. Edit: Knock at the Cabin, not Cabin in the Woods What a terrible title that is, BTW. Edited April 6, 2023 by BTFD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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