coprolite Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 9 hours ago, scottsdad said: My mother in law is going into hospital. She has been estranged from my wife for a few years. Diabetic since at least 2003,she never stopped filling her face with chocolate and sweets. I told her years back that if she carried on, she could lose a foot. Well fuckity me. She is going in to get one hacked off. The wife's sister phoned her to ask if she was going to visit her mum. "No. I'm on holiday" was the (correct) reply 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elixir Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 16 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Therese Covfefe's tits look like the Virgin logo. She looks like a teaching assistant who's getting her 'game face' on for another thankless day in the classroom. Also, taking fashion tips from Worzel Gummidge isn't a good look for a minister of state. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 15 hours ago, scottsdad said: My mother in law is going into hospital. She has been estranged from my wife for a few years. Diabetic since at least 2003,she never stopped filling her face with chocolate and sweets. I told her years back that if she carried on, she could lose a foot. Well fuckity me. She is going in to get one hacked off. The wife's sister phoned her to ask if she was going to visit her mum. "No. I'm on holiday" was the (correct) reply My late stepfather (2nd time I've namechecked him today...) had a leg removed just below the knee in 1999 after a lifetime of smoking 60+ fags a day. He applied for a Disabled Persons Parking Permit to Midlothian Council and had to attend an in-person interview and I accompanied him. We go into an office occupied by some spotty-faced jobsworth about 25 y.o. reading from a scripted set of questions. His first, and last, question was "So, Mr Amputee, when do you expect to recover or your condition to improve ?" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 6 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said: My late stepfather (2nd time I've namechecked him today...) had a leg removed just below the knee in 1999 after a lifetime of smoking 60+ fags a day. He applied for a Disabled Persons Parking Permit to Midlothian Council and had to attend an in-person interview and I accompanied him. We go into an office occupied by some spotty-faced jobsworth about 25 y.o. reading from a scripted set of questions. His first, and last, question was "So, Mr Amputee, when do you expect to recover or your condition to improve ?" So, he didn't have a leg to sta.... Ah, OK. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 Just now, philpy said: So, he didn't have a leg to sta.... Ah, OK. Oh, philpy......................... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 These are sensational, brothers. Biggest advancement in biscuit technology since the toffee Trio. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 I see Ian Beale’s made something of himself since quitting Eastenders… 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 The wife gets home from her holiday at tea time on Sunday. Taking off hours for sleeping, shopping, cooking, visiting parents, etc, I reckon I have about 28 hours of Internet porn between now and then. I am pessimistic. Don't think I will get through it all by then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie McSquackle Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 I see Ian Beale’s made something of himself since quitting Eastenders… If he could stop them being absolute dicks, that would be a good start. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 10 hours ago, Archie McSquackle said: 22 hours ago, alta-pete said: I see Ian Beale’s made something of himself since quitting Eastenders… If he could stop them being absolute dicks, that would be a good start. You get your water from dicks? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GordonD Posted October 22, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2022 As you may remember, last month I had a malignant tumour removed from my leg. It appears to be healing nicely - I have to have the dressings changed twice a week and the nurse is always pleased with the progress. On Tuesday I went for a CT scan to see if the tumour had spread. Today I got the results and they gave me the all-clear. No sign of any malignant cells in chest, abdomen or pelvis. 53 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 As you may remember, last month I had a malignant tumour removed from my leg. It appears to be healing nicely - I have to have the dressings changed twice a week and the nurse is always pleased with the progress. On Tuesday I went for a CT scan to see if the tumour had spread. Today I got the results and they gave me the all-clear. No sign of any malignant cells in chest, abdomen or pelvis. RTBC thread for this pish. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 30 minutes ago, GordonD said: As you may remember, last month I had a malignant tumour removed from my leg. It appears to be healing nicely - I have to have the dressings changed twice a week and the nurse is always pleased with the progress. On Tuesday I went for a CT scan to see if the tumour had spread. Today I got the results and they gave me the all-clear. No sign of any malignant cells in chest, abdomen or pelvis. Great news Goggsy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 39 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Goggsy. You had to ruin his good news, didn't you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 11 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: You had to ruin his good news, didn't you! Sorry, I had an old pal Gordon, he was always called 'Goggsy min' from me. Sounds a bit better if you imagine it in an Aberdonian accent. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 Just now, johnnydun said: Aberdonian accent. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 Just now, Mr. Alli said: Aye, fair doo's minzer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 14 minutes ago, Tynie Pecksniff said: 25 years of Steps on Mtv. What a band. That's tragedy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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