Things you want to share with P&B

[SlipperyP]

3 hours ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

 

Are they Northern Irish? It would explain it.

Not sure, I've never asked them.

[Jacksgranda]

42 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Not sure, I've never asked them.

If they're eating pineapple and cheese on a stick you don't need to ask

[SlipperyP]

2 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

If they're eating pineapple and cheese on a stick you don't need to ask

Pineapple yes, cheese no. However, I need to drive about 30 miles to buy cheese and it's shite. Also costs around  a days wage for a 250g. One of many loses I have accepted.

[Jacksgranda]

I think I would miss cheese if I couldn't get it

[welshbairn]

15 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Pineapple yes, cheese no. However, I need to drive about 30 miles to buy cheese and it's shite. Also costs around  a days wage for a 250g. One of many loses I have accepted.

That's what I miss most in out of the way places, I dream of a cheese and ham sandwich in white bread. Can you not get a big block or a hamper posted over? 

[SlipperyP]

4 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

I think I would miss cheese if I couldn't get it

Sure, but I only eat Thai (real not your UK restaurant Thai) mostly as it's cheap and tasty. Your taste buds change over time and craving for western food are only a memory.

Last time my sister was here, I went to Bangkok to meet her, before bringing her back to my village.  We always stay one night in the big lights.  She asked what you want to eat.  I knew of this bar that did western food and was recommended to me.  So headed there and I order stake pie, boiled and roast tatties with pies with cravy.  It was good, but not as good as I thought it would be, very bland and filling. I never finished it and after about an hour I had to go back to the hotel to lye down as my guts were in torminal.   

[SlipperyP]

2 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

That's what I miss most in out of the way places, I dream of a cheese and ham sandwich in white bread. Can you not get a big block or a hamper posted over? 

Yes you can, but you have to pay a tax duty on it, which is fucking mental prices the last time I looked.

As said above, my sister comes over once a year, with a hamper (not much clothes) in her suitcase. Not been here for 2 years.  Not had a proper tea for 1 year.

Edited December 30, 2021 by SlipperyP

[tamthebam]

14 hours ago, Newbornbairn said:

 

2022 eh?

Findus Lasagne is people

[Venti]

Stung by a wasp there on my walk.

Didn't even register.

Like a Bell pepper on a Scoville.

(Not recomended if you have anaphylaxis)

[Bairnardo]

Stung by a wasp there on my walk.
Didn't even register.
Like a Bell pepper on a Scoville.
(Not recomended if you have anaphylaxis)

Licked by a bluebottles shitey tongue IMO

[Venti]

1 minute ago, Bairnardo said:

14 minutes ago, Slenderman said:

Stung by a wasp there on my walk.
Didn't even register.
Like a Bell pepper on a Scoville.
(Not recomended if you have anaphylaxis)

Licked by a bluebottles shitey tongue IMO

Happy NY when it comes Bairn.

[Venti]

Triple Giant Banana frenzy

(shite at arithmetic) but would like to see the odds. Lvl 7 maxed yellow toad.

[DiegoDiego]

Triple Giant Banana frenzy

Lvl 7 maxed yellow toad.

What are you drinking thread for this pish.

[BFTD]

19 hours ago, Newbornbairn said:

2022 eh?

I wouldn't mind, frankly, but it seemed like they couldn't even make Soylent Green tasty.

Pretty certain that I could knock together a few scrummy meals out of the stringiest jake.

[Venti]

44 minutes ago, DiegoDiego said:

What are you drinking thread for this pish.

True. Only a Mariokarter knows the holy grail.

[scottsdad]

7 hours ago, Slenderman said:

Stung by a wasp there on my walk.

Didn't even register.

Like a Bell pepper on a Scoville.

(Not recomended if you have anaphylaxis)

I used to go out with a girl called Anna Phylaxis. Her orgasms were a thing to behold. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

So as it’s New Year’s Eve again, I’ve just received the annual poem from some distant weirdo relatives who live in Australia. Every year the c**t sends it on expecting a round of applause for his Daily Mailesque rant. I’ve put it in a spoiler as it’s quite long.

Spoiler

The Tooth Fairy

 The world has many “experts” officially appointed
A bizarre selection process Government anointed
The Press accepts their message so truth has been obscured But I’ll do my own assessment over 80 years matured
Surprising that a teenage girl could hold a crowd aroused How dare they just accept that useless garbage she espoused An audience ecstatic demonstrating by applause Acceptance of her theories and aligning with her cause
Politicians ae convinced, they are effortless to coax Supporting simple theories guaranteed to gather votes Ignoring proven data and true scientific view
They follow bland scenarios aligned to their IQ
The global warming fiction has full government support While the billions that it costs us is nothing but a rort They blame carbon dioxide which is dangerously low With most of it locked up in coal as trees died long ago
The poles on earth’s rotation trace big circles in the sky Their angle to the sun’s rays oscillate as years goes by Warming up or cooling down at each pole in succession A twenty-seven thousand years axial precession
Activities of man have a minuscule effect
On normal solar cycles and the weather we expect A carbon neutral climate is a terrible idea Vegetation will decline with lower carbon in the air
Already we experience clearly noticeable signs
The winters getting cooler as temperature declines And the summers just get slightly warmer every year With minor variations as expected to be there
A world of six-plus billion is a frightening spectacle Viral procreation seems to be the general rule
The pollution thus created should really be abhorred And beneficial carbon gases never be ignored
As usual we find socialism swinging to extremes Selecting party candidates by race and gender themes Ability is overlooked for the emphasis is woke Resulting in appointments that are nothing but a joke
How dare our Politicians bow to prattling from the young
How dare they gift them voting rights, their lives have just begun How dare they carbon starve our trees with adolescent schemes How dare they take for granted bogus theories from the Greens
Quite typically our powers that be indulge a spending binge The mortgage debt created is enough to make one cringe With free speech to be restricted, a strategic power shift The Tooth Fairy grants indigenes a billion dollar gift

w****r.

[Walter]

14 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

So as it’s New Year’s Eve again, I’ve just received the annual poem from some distant weirdo relatives who live in Australia. Every year the c**t sends it on expecting a round of applause for his Daily Mailesque rant. I’ve put it in a spoiler as it’s quite long.

  Reveal hidden contents

The Tooth Fairy

 The world has many “experts” officially appointed
A bizarre selection process Government anointed
The Press accepts their message so truth has been obscured But I’ll do my own assessment over 80 years matured
Surprising that a teenage girl could hold a crowd aroused How dare they just accept that useless garbage she espoused An audience ecstatic demonstrating by applause Acceptance of her theories and aligning with her cause
Politicians ae convinced, they are effortless to coax Supporting simple theories guaranteed to gather votes Ignoring proven data and true scientific view
They follow bland scenarios aligned to their IQ
The global warming fiction has full government support While the billions that it costs us is nothing but a rort They blame carbon dioxide which is dangerously low With most of it locked up in coal as trees died long ago
The poles on earth’s rotation trace big circles in the sky Their angle to the sun’s rays oscillate as years goes by Warming up or cooling down at each pole in succession A twenty-seven thousand years axial precession
Activities of man have a minuscule effect
On normal solar cycles and the weather we expect A carbon neutral climate is a terrible idea Vegetation will decline with lower carbon in the air
Already we experience clearly noticeable signs
The winters getting cooler as temperature declines And the summers just get slightly warmer every year With minor variations as expected to be there
A world of six-plus billion is a frightening spectacle Viral procreation seems to be the general rule
The pollution thus created should really be abhorred And beneficial carbon gases never be ignored
As usual we find socialism swinging to extremes Selecting party candidates by race and gender themes Ability is overlooked for the emphasis is woke Resulting in appointments that are nothing but a joke
How dare our Politicians bow to prattling from the young
How dare they gift them voting rights, their lives have just begun How dare they carbon starve our trees with adolescent schemes How dare they take for granted bogus theories from the Greens
Quite typically our powers that be indulge a spending binge The mortgage debt created is enough to make one cringe With free speech to be restricted, a strategic power shift The Tooth Fairy grants indigenes a billion dollar gift

w****r.

You gave this fanny your address? I'd move house if I were you. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Just now, Walter said:

You gave this fanny your address? I'd move house if I were you. 

It’s a weird one. The wifie randomly emailed me about 20 years ago saying she was tracing her family tree and asked where I was from.  Told her my old boy was from Lossie so she contacted him. A few email as later and her and the husband (poetcunt) randomly turn up at my folks house one night. Fucking oddballs but they did give us a copy of my dads family tree back to the 1600s.  She’s never been back to the UK since. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

19 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

 She’s never been back to the UK since. 

She met you then?