Things you want to share with P&B

[tamthebam]

2 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

He had the right school for me but I think he may have just worked out who I was, looked me up on LinkedIn and spliced some info from there and here. Or he thinks I’m someone else from around the same vintage at school. 

 

So if you weren't Danny were you Plug, Smiffy, Wilfrid or 'erbert?

[Derry Alli]

On 05/11/2021 at 15:09, Shandon Par said:

Two of the Mrs’s three former bosses have died in the last week. The sole survivor is me (though I’m half the age of them). 

Ciro Par. 

[DiegoDiego]

I'm taking that horrific screenshot straight to the PTTGOYN thread. At the bare minimum people should rotate their screen in situations like that.

[8MileBU]

On 06/11/2021 at 09:21, Bairnardo said:

My mouth/brain just got caught between saying no bother and no problem, and I have no fucking idea what came out, but I felt a right dick.

You said “No boblem” didn’t you? 

[eindhovendee]

Do just went to do Euromillions for tomorrow night, hadn't checked Tuesday's as I'd seen an ad on Twitter saying that it was a 76m Jackpot on Friday so I knew I couldn't be a multi millionaire.

Saw that my balance was a bit higher than expected.

So if my 5 had been a 25 and my 48 had been a 30 I would have had 5+2 and won £68,724,444 but I had 3+2 and won £48.10.

[Shandon Par]

29 minutes ago, eindhovendee said:

Do just went to do Euromillions for tomorrow night, hadn't checked Tuesday's as I'd seen an ad on Twitter saying that it was a 76m Jackpot on Friday so I knew I couldn't be a multi millionaire.

Saw that my balance was a bit higher than expected.

So if my 5 had been a 25 and my 48 had been a 30 I would have had 5+2 and won £68,724,444 but I had 3+2 and won £48.10.

Saw @Bairnardo having similar woes. Commiserations to you both. May I suggest you pool your resources and lump it all on ICT to beat Dunfermline? It seems almost barbaric for this game to go ahead. 

[19QOS19]

Do just went to do Euromillions for tomorrow night, hadn't checked Tuesday's as I'd seen an ad on Twitter saying that it was a 76m Jackpot on Friday so I knew I couldn't be a multi millionaire.
Saw that my balance was a bit higher than expected.

So if my 5 had been a 25 and my 48 had been a 30 I would have had 5+2 and won £68,724,444 but I had 3+2 and won £48.10. [emoji3]

And you were as close with 5 and 48 than you be if you had 24 and 31 respectively. But tell that to one of these fuckwits who say "I needed number 4 and number 3 came oot ffs, a was one baw away!?" and watch their head explode.

[monkeyblair]

First return to P&B for quite some time - where did the Misspelt Footballers thread go....

[The Moonster]

On 06/11/2021 at 09:21, Bairnardo said:

My mouth/brain just got caught between saying no bother and no problem, and I have no fucking idea what came out, but I felt a right dick.

I missed a 4 foot putt for par on Sunday and went to call myself a "fucking dick" but half way through the sentence my brain said "call yourself a diddy instead" and I ended up saying "you fucking diggy". Much more embarrassing than missing the 4 footer tbh. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

30 minutes ago, monkeyblair said:

First return to P&B for quite some time - where did the Misspelt Footballers thread go....

 

[monkeyblair]

3 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

 

Delightful.

Landing Donervan & Gary Linear

Must be worth opening up again...

[greendot]

There's a lassie that works in our office who comes out with some absolute howlers where her brain hasn't engaged before she opens her gob.  One of the guys in the office has started a 'book' on his phone of her 'isms'.

 

I was looking through P&B for a topic to reply to in PTTGOYN and I passed the topic on the '39 bodies found in back of a lorry'.  As any normal work day we were discussing the news of the day and this lassie comes away with 'why was he driving 39 bodies about? where was he taking them?' not quite grasping the concept that they were alive when he first took them on board

[ICTChris]

This amused me.

[DiegoDiego]

This amused me.

It's worse than that, it's held up by COBOL which is a terrible language. I read a convicting article a while ago that learning COBOL should either be subsidised or banned.

[BFTD]

^^^ jealous that the last five living COBOL programmers are earning millions and he's struggling with Visual Basic

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, BFTD said:

^^^ jealous that the last five living COBOL programmers are earning millions and he's struggling with Visual Basic

Are they? 

I learned how programme COBOL. Unfortunately when I programmed it was COBOLLOCKS 

[thomas]

I've had a terrible hangover all day and it's starting to make me question if drinking is really worth it. Recently I've cut down and only drink on one night at the weekend and having a hangover free Saturday or Sunday has been fairly enjoyable.

[jimbaxters]

Car hire firms are so difficult to deal with.

Our family are all coming to visit us here for a big birthday. There will be 8 of us in total so need to rent a 9 seater for a few days. Quotes in city branches were through the roof (900 sheets for four days) but found on Europcar a 9 seater from either Malpensa or Bergamo airport for 370. When I did the search the same car was available from either airport at the same time and price. Long story but at the time Bergamo was the better option so went with there for pick up and drop off. Sods Law meant that within two days things changed for us and meant that it is now better to pick up and drop off at Malpensa.

When I tried to modify the booking there were no 9 seaters available there and, in fact searching from scratch there were no 9 seaters available from either branch. Seems to me like after I booked someone has realised the option shouldn't have been there or was too cheap and they have taken it down. My booking is still ok though as I have paid it in advance. I have called and emailed only to be told that there are none available from Malpensa and when I asked, they have said they can't transport it from Bergamo to Malpensa for me (1 hour drive). My impression is that this car will be brought in specially for my hire but the idiots only go by the same search engine I used and say it's not available. 

All it would take is someone lifting the phone and saying "Luigi, see that big f off motor you are due to take to Bergamo Airport, just take it to Malpensa instead", but they are too lazy/awkward/inept to do anything except push a few buttons. Big companies!!!

Edited November 9, 2021 by jimbaxters

[GordonD]

11 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Are they? 

I learned how programme COBOL. Unfortunately when I programmed it was COBOLLOCKS 

Pity you didn't learn how to speak English...

I was a COBOL programmer for two years after I left school.

[alta-pete]

15 minutes ago, jimbaxters said:

Car hire firms are so difficult to deal with.

Our family are all coming to visit us here for a big birthday. There will be 8 of us in total so need to rent a 9 seater for a few days. Quotes in city branches were through the roof (900 sheets for four days) but found on Europcar a 9 seater from either Malpensa or Bergamo airport for 370. When I did the search the same car was available from either airport at the same time and price. Long story but at the time Bergamo was the better option so went with there for pick up and drop off. Sods Law meant that within two days things changed for us and meant that it is now better to pick up and drop off at Malpensa.

When I tried to modify the booking there were no 9 seaters available there and, in fact searching from scratch there were no 9 seaters available from either branch. Seems to me like after I booked someone has realised the option shouldn't have been there or was too cheap and they have taken it down. My booking is still ok though as I have paid it in advance. I have called and emailed only to be told that there are none available from Malpensa and when I asked, they have said they can't transport it from Bergamo to Malpensa for me (1 hour drive). My impression is that this car will be brought in specially for my hire but the idiots only go by the same search engine I used and say it's not available. 

All it would take is someone lifting the phone and saying "Luigi, see that big f off motor you are due to take to Bergamo Airport, just take it to Malpensa instead", but they are too lazy/awkward/inept to do anything except push a few buttons. Big companies!!!

Essentially, having bagged yourself a mispriced bargain, your complaint is that they won’t now accommodate you further by tying up a member of their staff for half a day together with all the associated ballache inventory paperwork?

Good luck!