Things you want to share with P&B

[ICTChris]

This is the documentary about Samoa and obesity. Five minutes in for the mutton flaps. Also, making a geezer who weighs 27 stone do a beep test is just evil.

[BFTD]

11 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

All the Polynesian countries have obesity problems. According to Wikipedia all the top 10 countries by obesity rate are Polynesian - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_obesity_rate

I watched a documentary about it a few years back, apparently they import almost all their food and have a poor diet based on tinned and processed food and cheap fatty cuts of meat (mutton flaps are very popular). The presenter of the documentary was a right boot to the people though, she was very rude in parts.  
 

I’m not sure if I read about it after watching that or if it was covered in the documentary but it’s likely that there’s a genetic component to the obesity issues in Polynesia. Perhaps the people there are more likely to retain body weight as fat, some have posited that this could be a legacy of the ancestors of current Polynesians, who sailed to their countries thousands of years ago. Retaining as much body fat as possible would be an advantage if you were exploring the ocean, maybe the legacy of this can be seen in the sky high obesity rates today.

I seem to remember something about people in Guam (I think) having a fairly normal physique until the Americans used it as a base during the Second World War, and the soldiers brought Spam with them as part of their rations. For some reason the locals went fucking batshit over it, made it their national dish, and now something like 90% of them are obese.

Thinking of retiring there and becoming the svelte exotic foreigner.

[G51]

9 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been swithering whether to write this for a couple of days but I don't think many on here know who I actually am so it shouldn't really effect the situation. It's pretty long drawn so I'll put it in spoiler. 

  Reveal hidden contents

The lassie I've been with (same one I posted about at new year that got drunk on her own and started telling me she doesn't know why I'm there etc, we have had a rocky time for about a fortnight. One day she's on about me moving in - which I knocked on the head and said it is months away just now - and the next she's throwing stuff about the room (namely coat hangers I picked up off the floor) saying I need to stop touching things and putting them in the wrong place. Anyway, she accused me of messaging other people (my best mate is a lassie so there's openly an issue there) but apparently I'm messaging people because I'm never on my phone around her and that's not normal. 

She's now blocked me on everything, bad mouthing me to everybody and I received a phone call yesterday from one of her best mates who asked if she's taking her medication. I said she's on and off it to which the reply was "that's not right, she knows she can't do that when she's bi-polar". 

Now, that doesn't bother me but we've been together for numerous months. I've had my own thoughts that it might have been the case but never really breached that in conversation. It wouldn't have changed anything for me if she admitted it - it probably would have helped me understand and deal with situations better - but am I selfish to feel as though this has all been a lie? 

I'm genuinely wandering around in a daze replaying everything over and over. Seeing the signs and not acting or trying to help (begged her to go to the doctor, she has stomach/making herself sick issues) and being told to f**k off. I can't speak to anyone I know without looking like I'm digging her private life up. 

Edit : I should have clarified after her mate said the bi polar thing, she then quickly shit herself and asked "she hasn't told you, has she?" 

 

That's a hell of a situation right there.

My thoughts would be: the first priority is that for someone who's bipolar, there can be serious medical implications for someone who doesn't regularly take their bipolar medication. So the immediate, short-term thing to do is to support any efforts being taken to get her taking her tablets regularly again. That might involve you going round to talk to her, it might involve you staying a million miles away from the situation - that's probably one to talk over with her pal regarding how you help out there. Just offer whatever support is deemed necessary by the people closest to her.

Once she starts taking the medication regularly, things will likely become a wee bit clearer.

[GordonD]

Ever had your hopes raised then dashed in the space of a few seconds?

I saw this headline on the BBC news page:

Ant Middleton dropped by C4 over 'personal conduct' - BBC News

Turns out it isn't the Geordie drink-driver but somebody else entirely.

 

[Derry Alli]

14 minutes ago, G51 said:

That might involve you going round to talk to her, it might involve you staying a million miles away from the situation - that's probably one to talk over with her pal regarding how you help out there. Just offer whatever support is deemed necessary by the people closest to her.

Once she starts taking the medication regularly, things will likely become a wee bit clearer.

I've written a letter saying I'd like to meet up and talk to her about something that's come up - said I'd prefer it to be away from the houses and asked her to bring someone with her (for both our sakes tbh). The ball is now completely in her court and I've said if I haven't heard by Sunday night then for her to take care. 

[G51]

5 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've written a letter saying I'd like to meet up and talk to her about something that's come up - said I'd prefer it to be away from the houses and asked her to bring someone with her (for both our sakes tbh). The ball is now completely in her court and I've said if I haven't heard by Sunday night then for her to take care. 

Aye. If it was me I'd just be taking a back seat at the minute. Let the people close to her help her - if they need your help, they'll come to you. Also worth bearing in mind she might not be in a place to make a decision on that letter by Sunday (equally she also might be, I've no idea - that's one for the doctors I suppose).

Ultimately it's going to come down to you making a call on whether you're the type of person who can make a serious go of something with someone who is bipolar. It does take a certain type of person to live with someone with serious mental illness - it requires patience, a cool head and the willingness to forgive above everything else. Doesn't make you a bad person if you don't think you could do it, and if you cant then it's best for both of you that you move on now.

The lassie that's taking her medication regularly is likely a very different person to the one that's taking it inconsistently, so that's worth factoring into the equation too. It's a complex question.

[Robin.Hood]

2 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been swithering whether to write this for a couple of days but I don't think many on here know who I actually am so it shouldn't really effect the situation. It's pretty long drawn so I'll put it in spoiler. 

  Reveal hidden contents

The lassie I've been with (same one I posted about at new year that got drunk on her own and started telling me she doesn't know why I'm there etc, we have had a rocky time for about a fortnight. One day she's on about me moving in - which I knocked on the head and said it is months away just now - and the next she's throwing stuff about the room (namely coat hangers I picked up off the floor) saying I need to stop touching things and putting them in the wrong place. Anyway, she accused me of messaging other people (my best mate is a lassie so there's openly an issue there) but apparently I'm messaging people because I'm never on my phone around her and that's not normal. 

She's now blocked me on everything, bad mouthing me to everybody and I received a phone call yesterday from one of her best mates who asked if she's taking her medication. I said she's on and off it to which the reply was "that's not right, she knows she can't do that when she's bi-polar". 

Now, that doesn't bother me but we've been together for numerous months. I've had my own thoughts that it might have been the case but never really breached that in conversation. It wouldn't have changed anything for me if she admitted it - it probably would have helped me understand and deal with situations better - but am I selfish to feel as though this has all been a lie? 

I'm genuinely wandering around in a daze replaying everything over and over. Seeing the signs and not acting or trying to help (begged her to go to the doctor, she has stomach/making herself sick issues) and being told to f**k off. I can't speak to anyone I know without looking like I'm digging her private life up. 

Edit : I should have clarified after her mate said the bi polar thing, she then quickly shit herself and asked "she hasn't told you, has she?" 

 

I sent a pm. 

Something I can relate too. ( 3 years ago or so I certainly wouldn't have ) 

[Sergeant Wilson]

2 hours ago, ICTChris said:

mutton flaps are very popular

Not just in Polynesia.

[DiegoDiego]

Without going into detail about my own experiences, it's important to remember (and I'm not saying it's the case here) that mental health issues aren't an excuse for being an arsehole.

[Derry Alli]

After a few PM's with Robin, I've taken on board what a few of you have said and taken out the time limit type statement. I care deeply for her and will leave the invitation to talk open indefinitely. I have to hope that itself doesn't bring complexities further down the line but that's a bridge to cross if it does need crossed. 

Thanks again for the replies. 

[Granny Danger]

“Boy Scouts will sell Norman Rockwell paintings to fund sexual abuse claim payments”.

There’s something bizarre and yet appropriate in the consequences of this.  Having to sell off their collection of painter who spent a lot of time portraying the Scout movement as wholesome to cover the costs of how unwholesome parts of it were.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/mar/02/boy-scouts-victims-fund-sexual-abuse-lawsuits

[Miguel Sanchez]

If you like video games, go vote in this:

 

[RH33]

7 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

After a few PM's with Robin, I've taken on board what a few of you have said and taken out the time limit type statement. I care deeply for her and will leave the invitation to talk open indefinitely. I have to hope that itself doesn't bring complexities further down the line but that's a bridge to cross if it does need crossed. 

Thanks again for the replies. 

As said mental health isn’t an excuse for being an arsehole, I’ve  been in one significant relationship since my marriage and I was up front from beginning about my diagnosis. 

I’ve an acquaintance who over stepped mark so I had back off. But I purposely never blocked their number as I know I’m about only person he’d call if at the edge.

[SANTAN]

Plan B is/was one of the most underated UK artists to have ever existed. 

Who Needs Actions When You've Got Words and The Defamation of Strickland Banks are both 10/10

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, RH33 said:

As said mental health isn’t an excuse for being an arsehole, I’ve  been in one significant relationship since my marriage and I was up front from beginning about my diagnosis. 

She text me about 9pm being civil and apologising but saying there isn't much for us to speak about. 

I'm literally just off the phone to her after she called me and we have spoke for 15 minutes about what's happening at her work and with her child. It's a tiny, tiny step but it's in the right direction. 

Again, thank you all for your replies and what have you. I'll stop documenting my love life and we can get back to slagging Tories. 

[Hedgecutter]

Found out today that my grandad was responsible for blowing up a cow in Orkney after he accidentally misdirected battleship gunfire into the wrong field during D-Day training.  I suppose that's why you train for things.

 

[Jacksgranda]

On 02/03/2021 at 09:22, ICTChris said:

All the Polynesian countries have obesity problems. According to Wikipedia all the top 10 countries by obesity rate are Polynesian - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_obesity_rate

I watched a documentary about it a few years back, apparently they import almost all their food and have a poor diet based on tinned and processed food and cheap fatty cuts of meat (mutton flaps are very popular). The presenter of the documentary was a right boot to the people though, she was very rude in parts.  
 

I’m not sure if I read about it after watching that or if it was covered in the documentary but it’s likely that there’s a genetic component to the obesity issues in Polynesia. Perhaps the people there are more likely to retain body weight as fat, some have posited that this could be a legacy of the ancestors of current Polynesians, who sailed to their countries thousands of years ago. Retaining as much body fat as possible would be an advantage if you were exploring the ocean, maybe the legacy of this can be seen in the sky high obesity rates today.

[Jacksgranda]

My wife made wheaten loaves yesterday, ably assisted by granddaughter nr. 8. They are absolutely delicious.

[Newbornbairn]

If it wasn't for Teams meetings I wouldn't do any housework. 

[die hard doonhamer]

7 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said:

If it wasn't for Teams meetings I wouldn't do any housework. 

Virtual backgrounds make even that unnecessary