Things you want to share with P&B

[Dee Man]

21 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

You want some of this stuff, sorts you out quicker than a dingo can snatch your ankle biter.

Guy sat beside me in the missus' hairdressers was getting his mullet trimmed on Thursday. He was shown a picture of another mullet that was done in the salon earlier in the week and he had the cheek to say it looked stupid. He was of course spot on, but he was hardly on a position to judge. 

Photo of said mullet to follow if I remember to get wife to send it. It is unsurprisingly utterly hideous. 

[Bert Raccoon]

I usually use one of these when I shower 

 

 

Go on, say something, I dare you

Edited June 6, 2020 by Bert Raccoon

[Mark Connolly]

Just now, Bert Raccoon said:

I usually use in of these when I shower 

 

[spoiker] Go on, say something, I dare you

You don't know how to use spoilers. Or spell "spoiler".

[The Naitch]

1 hour ago, Jarballs said:

The BBC iPlayer seems to be going surprisingly sectarian in lockdown.

What Michelle Visage doesn't know about the ins and outs of Scottish football isn't worth knowing.

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

You don't know how to use spoilers. Or spell "spoiler".

In fairness I've been in the shower since 9am scrubbing my balls and drinking lager so an easy enough mistake to make. Thanks for the feedback though, appreciated.

Edited June 6, 2020 by Bert Raccoon

[Shotgun]

4 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Arse first. Then generous and repeated washing of hands (shower gel of course; my favoured one is Imperial Leather Mango and Papaya).

Arms (including pits), torso, legs, feet, penis, back, neck, hair, face and one last wash of the pits.

That's the order.

I don't believe anyone who says they only wash their boaby once per shower.

[DA Baracus]

4 hours ago, MixuFruit said:

Men who distinguish between shampoo and shower gel are OFTW I don't make the rules

This is a joke, yes?

4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

My shampoo is >£5 a bottle. Granted, I don’t need a lot but I’m not wasting it on lathering up my pyabs.

Thats what the Original Source Tea Tree oil flavour shower gel is for.

I'm £2 for shampoo. 250ml Head and Shoulders Apple Fresh. Usually does for a month.

As noted before, shower gel is Imperial Leather Mango and Papaya, £1 a bottle.

25 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

I don't believe anyone who says they only wash their boaby once per shower.

Unless you have a bad smegma issue, once is fine.

[DA Baracus]

2 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

I've never been more serious about anything in my life.

Do we...do we fight?

[DA Baracus]

1 minute ago, MixuFruit said:

It'll be slippery

When wet?

[welshbairn]

32 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

I don't believe anyone who says they only wash their boaby once per shower.

Once for the lady garden, once for the back door and once for luck is my motto.

[MONKMAN]

This is the only shower gel you should be using. The tingling sensation on the balls is delightful.

[Dan Steele]

Just now, MONKMAN said:

This is the only shower gel you should be using. The tingling sensation on the balls is delightful.

That's what they should use in their adverts. What's with this 7,927 mint leaves, ffs?

[DA Baracus]

9 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

sakes you like Aerosmith? We can't be friends.

Yes. Aerosmith are ace (a couple of missteps aside).

But Slippery When Wet is Bon Jovi. I think you know that.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

14 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Once for the lady garden, once for the back door and once for luck is my motto.

And what about when you’re having a shower?

[welshbairn]

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

And what about when you’re having a shower?

That's my quiet moment when I try to remember what sex was like. Moist.

[heedthebaa]

Imperial leather soap for hands and face, imperial leather shower gel and wash n go shampoo. Start at the top and work downwards. Have myself red raw with one of these bad boys 

[Dee Man]

28 minutes ago, MONKMAN said:

This is the only shower gel you should be using. The tingling sensation on the balls is delightful.

The first time you feel the sensation of that on your helmet is a proper JFK moment. 

[Derry Alli]

I don't know what's worse :being entrapped to rub that mint tree stuff on yer baws or sitting reading somebody saying Aerosmith are good. 

[BFTD]

37 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Once for the lady garden, once for the back door and once for luck is my motto.

Lady garden? Are we still talking about showering? Alone?

Obligatory disgusting shower story; a mate of the wife's was visiting from out of town, and hooked up with another one of her friends while he was staying with us. After a night of (I assume) debauchery on our couch, they sloped off to the shower together, only for him to reappear a few minutes later to ask, "Karen wants me to use your massage sponge on her, is that OK?"

That's probably bad enough, but I'd been using this sponge for about six months without changing it; it was almost falling apart, and the rough side had turned from brilliant white into a dingy brownish-grey. I gave him the go-ahead, knowing it was finally going straight in the bin as soon as they were done, but the image of this poor lassie being scrubbed all over with my arse bacteria horror sponge haunts me to this day.

[Dee Man]

9 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Lady garden? Are we still talking about showering? Alone?

Obligatory disgusting shower story; a mate of the wife's was visiting from out of town, and hooked up with another one of her friends while he was staying with us. After a night of (I assume) debauchery on our couch, they sloped off to the shower together, only for him to reappear a few minutes later to ask, "Karen wants me to use your massage sponge on her, is that OK?"

That's probably bad enough, but I'd been using this sponge for about six months without changing it; it was almost falling apart, and the rough side had turned from brilliant white into a dingy brownish-grey. I gave him the go-ahead, knowing it was finally going straight in the bin as soon as they were done, but the image of this poor lassie being scrubbed all over with my arse bacteria horror sponge haunts me to this day.