tree house tam Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 In London for a gig. Making way to the hotel and couldn't quite place what was different. It's seemingly London pride today, that'll explain why there are some pretty flamboyant fuckers stotting about already. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 11 minutes ago, tree house tam said: In London for a gig. Making way to the hotel and couldn't quite place what was different. It's seemingly London pride today, that'll explain why there are some pretty flamboyant fuckers stotting about already. It’s ok m8. We’re all here for you, these are enlightened times. Just remember to rubber up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 6 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: It’s ok m8. We’re all here for you, these are enlightened times. Just remember to rubber up. You've been handing out fashion tips haven't you? Was in Underground in Glasgow a few weeks ago with the burd and she was well jealous of the attention I was getting still got it Mozza, still got it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 43 minutes ago, tree house tam said: Was in Underground in Glasgow a few weeks ago with the burd and she was well jealous of the attention I was getting Shame you were only going a few stops. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 "The watch Mo Farah wore." Is there a level above genius? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 3 hours ago, tree house tam said: In London for a gig. Making way to the hotel and couldn't quite place what was different. It's seemingly London pride today, that'll explain why there are some pretty flamboyant fuckers stotting about already. I was thinking exactly the same, only I'm in Airdrie and it's walk day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 27 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I was thinking exactly the same, only I'm in Airdrie and it's walk day. Wouldn't it be a shame if some Gay Pride marchers joined in... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieKTID Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Today i went to my favourite event in Amsterdam - El Jeffe wild west brew fest, now in its 5th year, its really laid back, loads of good beer, food, music, there is also a chilli eating contest and live wrestling, plus its a two minute stagger from my apartment. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 5 hours ago, stevieKTID said: Today i went to my favourite event in Amsterdam - El Jeffe wild west brew fest, now in its 5th year, its really laid back, loads of good beer, food, music, there is also a chilli eating contest and live wrestling, plus its a two minute stagger from my apartment. unless you like coyotes who sound like Johnny Cash I'd stay clear of that... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 (edited) Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced. CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! ! CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3. FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence. JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank. FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report). Edited July 7, 2019 by GordonD 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 unless you like coyotes who sound like Johnny Cash...errabody likes coyotes who sound like Johnny Cash. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 The card below was posted through my door at dinnertime today. It's "advance warning" of maintenance work to be carried out on the railway line during the night of Sunday 7th/Monday 8th July - which was last night! Just like the trains, the advance warnings are late! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 (edited) I was in Co. Donegal the other day, and as we went round the Ballyshannon bypass there was a sign in 3 languages, (none of which were Irish), advising motorists to drive on the left. I thought if tourists have made it this far from Rosslare, etc, they've probably already figured that out. Edited July 8, 2019 by Jacksgranda grandma 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said: I was in Co. Donegal the other day, and as we went round the Ballyshannon bypass there was a sign in 3 languages, (none of which were Irish), advising motorists to drive on the left. I thought if tourists have made it this far from Rosslare, etc, they've probably already figured that out. Backstop preparation imo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 I've been inundated with calls and messages by local men looking for some action. I can only assume I've been signed up to hook up website without my knowledge. How the f**k do I go about making it stop? In all seriousness this is fucking grim and whoever has done it deserves to be dropped in a vat of acid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 1 minute ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: I've been inundated with calls and messages by local men looking for some action. I can only assume I've been signed up to hook up website without my knowledge. How the f**k do I go about making it stop? In all seriousness this is fucking grim and whoever has done it deserves to be dropped in a vat of acid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 I've been inundated with calls and messages by local men looking for some action. I can only assume I've been signed up to hook up website without my knowledge. How the f**k do I go about making it stop? In all seriousness this is fucking grim and whoever has done it deserves to be dropped in a vat of acid. Fantastic 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 4 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: . I can only assume I've been signed up to hook up website without my knowledge. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 A guy called Ali just turned up my door. No fucking kidding. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 On the plus side, it must be a good picture. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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