sjc Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) 9 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Funnily enough it was at it on the bed this morning. There's a very fluffy blanket which the missus puts on the bed as she claims to be freezing all the time but its a shagging magnet for the cat. Always cracks me up when you catch him on the bed rubbing away with his wee penis out. Reminds me of my latter days at school when I'd spend entire weekends at a mates smoking dope. There was regularly a stark choice to be made in a stoned haze of, 1. Sit in the living room with your equally stoned mates watching the Jack Russell shag f**k out of a teddy. Or 2. Go upstairs for a shot on his(our mates, not the Jack Russell!) sister. Like I say, that Jack Russell could really shag f**k out of that teddy...... Edited November 1, 2018 by sjc 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Reminds me of my latter days at school when I'd spend entire weekends at a mates smoking dope. There was regularly a stark choice to be made in a stoned haze of, 1. Sit in the living room with your equally stoned mates watching the Jack Russell shag f**k out of a teddy. Or 2. Go upstairs for a shot on his(our mates, not the Jack Russell!) sister. Like I say, that Jack Russell could really shag f**k out of that teddy......id imagine, if extremly baked, that was a very difficult decision 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 37 minutes ago, ah-dee said: 1 hour ago, sjc said: Reminds me of my latter days at school when I'd spend entire weekends at a mates smoking dope. There was regularly a stark choice to be made in a stoned haze of, 1. Sit in the living room with your equally stoned mates watching the Jack Russell shag f**k out of a teddy. Or 2. Go upstairs for a shot on his(our mates, not the Jack Russell!) sister. Like I say, that Jack Russell could really shag f**k out of that teddy...... id imagine, if extremly baked, that was a very difficult decision You'd think, but surprisingly not. I don't think I was the only one to proclaim that "I'd rather shag the Jack Russell!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
++Ammo - Airdrie++ Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Felt terrible yesterday afternoon at work, came home last night, can't eat anything, stomachs aching, shivering all night (but woke up sweating) and now my heads absolutely killing me right along my forehead [emoji24].I don't get Ill that often but hopefully this passes within 24 hours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Felt terrible yesterday afternoon at work, came home last night, can't eat anything, stomachs aching, shivering all night (but woke up sweating) and now my heads absolutely killing me right along my forehead [emoji24].I don't get Ill that often but hopefully this passes within 24 hours. Good luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On similar note, I woke up about 3am with my stomach in agony. Waddled through to the toilet just in time before unleashing an unnatural amount of watery shite down the toilet. Had a quick look round at the damage and the toilet was splattered with bright red shite. Thought I was a goner and shiting out blood until I had a thought to what I had for dinner then realised I had some cheap Chicken Tikka pieces with rice covered in Nandos hot sauce so the chicken was caked in some horrid red food colouring. Was quite disconcerting for a moment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Felt terrible yesterday afternoon at work, came home last night, can't eat anything, stomachs aching, shivering all night (but woke up sweating) and now my heads absolutely killing me right along my forehead [emoji24].I don't get Ill that often but hopefully this passes within 24 hours. Sleep tight, sweet prince. RIP in peace. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BishopLenBrennan Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 24 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: I had some cheap Chicken Tikka pieces with rice covered in Nandos hot sauce You deserved all you got. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Why is it so difficult to find a cafe serving square/slice/lorne sausage in Edinburgh? Like living in England. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Why is it so difficult to find a cafe serving square/slice/lorne sausage in Edinburgh?Because it’s not the 1980s anymore -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Bert Raccoon said: On similar note, I woke up about 3am with my stomach in agony. Waddled through to the toilet just in time before unleashing an unnatural amount of watery shite down the toilet. Had a quick look round at the damage and the toilet was splattered with bright red shite. Thought I was a goner and shiting out blood until I had a thought to what I had for dinner then realised I had some cheap Chicken Tikka pieces with rice covered in Nandos hot sauce so the chicken was caked in some horrid red food colouring. Was quite disconcerting for a moment. A cheeky rectal prolapse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 10 hours ago, sjc said: Reminds me of my latter days at school when I'd spend entire weekends at a mates smoking dope. There was regularly a stark choice to be made in a stoned haze of, 1. Sit in the living room with your equally stoned mates watching the Jack Russell shag f**k out of a teddy. Or 2. Go upstairs for a shot on his(our mates, not the Jack Russell!) sister. Leads me to wonder if the sister, unlike the teddy, had any choice in the matter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 53 minutes ago, GordonD said: Leads me to wonder if the sister, unlike the teddy, had any choice in the matter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On similar note, I woke up about 3am with my stomach in agony. Waddled through to the toilet just in time before unleashing an unnatural amount of watery shite down the toilet. Had a quick look round at the damage and the toilet was splattered with bright red shite. Thought I was a goner and shiting out blood until I had a thought to what I had for dinner then realised I had some cheap Chicken Tikka pieces with rice covered in Nandos hot sauce so the chicken was caked in some horrid red food colouring. Was quite disconcerting for a moment.Twice in my life I have had similar toilet related panicking. First was a shite after eating beetroot, second was first time I encountered the smell of pish after eating asparagus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 2 hours ago, ++Ammo - Airdrie++ said: Felt terrible yesterday afternoon at work, came home last night, can't eat anything, stomachs aching, shivering all night (but woke up sweating) and now my heads absolutely killing me right along my forehead . I don't get Ill that often but hopefully this passes within 24 hours. Sounds like you've contracted bad aids to me..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 6 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 2 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said: On similar note, I woke up about 3am with my stomach in agony. Waddled through to the toilet just in time before unleashing an unnatural amount of watery shite down the toilet. Had a quick look round at the damage and the toilet was splattered with bright red shite. Thought I was a goner and shiting out blood until I had a thought to what I had for dinner then realised I had some cheap Chicken Tikka pieces with rice covered in Nandos hot sauce so the chicken was caked in some horrid red food colouring. Was quite disconcerting for a moment. Twice in my life I have had similar toilet related panicking. First was a shite after eating beetroot, second was first time I encountered the smell of pish after eating asparagus. Having a completely grey shite is fucking worrying. Trust me on that one! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sick boy Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said: Why is it so difficult to find a cafe serving square/slice/lorne sausage in Edinburgh? Living in England. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 (edited) Just cracked open my second beer today. First since 5th Oct. Wife and 3 kids are staying at the inlaws and I don't have work until 21:00 tomorrow....I feel for the dugs already, I might go out on a night search Edited November 2, 2018 by SlipperyP 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 3 hours ago, topcat(The most tip top) said: Because it’s not the 1980s anymore If the modern world doesn’t have square sausage, I don’t want to be a part of it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On the bus passing through Prestwick, I just saw Xmas lights. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.