Cerberus Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 14 minutes ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: My landlord has decided to stop doing my flat as a private let and has handed it over to a letting agency. I was all in favour of this as he was a snakey evil b*****d. But I just got my copy of the contract to sign. Some of the great parts include: Tenants are responsible for upkeep of garden (fair enough) but also for buying all the stuff needed to do the garden. f**k that mate. A "discretionary" £350 plus VAT (minimum) payment to the letting agency for any month the flat sits empty after I leave my contract (not if I leave it early. Just if they can't get anyone in even if my contract is up and I've fucked off) A £75 administration fee for handing any contracts. This includes when I sign to stay living in the place I am currently in and again every six months as they only do six month contracts. I have to leave my room unlocked at all times during the last two months of the tenancy in case they want to show anyone around. If they come round and my room is locked I will be charged £50. If I wish to make any changes to the contract these will cost £125 plus VAT per change. Oh yeah. This is all dated from "1st September" as my moving in date even tho' they only sent me the contract today. Phoned them up with a big fat "naw" and they said I need to vacate by 1st October. This was met with a bigger, fatter "naw". So now they want to discuss terms tomorrow. Whether I stay or find somewhere else I am now aiming to be the most annoying tenant they've ever had. Money grabbing b*****ds. That's a disgrace. Before you leave hide a huge, stinkin' dug jobby somewhere in the house they'll always smell but can never find. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 My landlord has decided to stop doing my flat as a private let and has handed it over to a letting agency. I was all in favour of this as he was a snakey evil b*****d. But I just got my copy of the contract to sign. Some of the great parts include: Tenants are responsible for upkeep of garden (fair enough) but also for buying all the stuff needed to do the garden. f**k that mate. A "discretionary" £350 plus VAT (minimum) payment to the letting agency for any month the flat sits empty after I leave my contract (not if I leave it early. Just if they can't get anyone in even if my contract is up and I've fucked off) A £75 administration fee for handing any contracts. This includes when I sign to stay living in the place I am currently in and again every six months as they only do six month contracts. I have to leave my room unlocked at all times during the last two months of the tenancy in case they want to show anyone around. If they come round and my room is locked I will be charged £50. If I wish to make any changes to the contract these will cost £125 plus VAT per change. Oh yeah. This is all dated from "1st September" as my moving in date even tho' they only sent me the contract today. Phoned them up with a big fat "naw" and they said I need to vacate by 1st October. This was met with a bigger, fatter "naw". So now they want to discuss terms tomorrow. Whether I stay or find somewhere else I am now aiming to be the most annoying tenant they've ever had. Money grabbing b*****ds.I believe you’re in London so this might not be as apt advice, but whenever I’ve had letting issues I’ve always been told to contact citizens advice. Thankfully I’ve never needed too but a friend did and they were able to help them out big time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Cerberus said: That's a disgrace. Before you leave hide a huge, stinkin' dug jobby somewhere in the house they'll always smell but can never find. Kipper behind a radiator. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 2 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: 2 hours ago, NJ2 said: You getting expensive dental treatment done?! 340 pound worth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 1 hour ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: My landlord has decided to stop doing my flat as a private let and has handed it over to a letting agency. I was all in favour of this as he was a snakey evil b*****d. But I just got my copy of the contract to sign. Some of the great parts include: Tenants are responsible for upkeep of garden (fair enough) but also for buying all the stuff needed to do the garden. f**k that mate. A "discretionary" £350 plus VAT (minimum) payment to the letting agency for any month the flat sits empty after I leave my contract (not if I leave it early. Just if they can't get anyone in even if my contract is up and I've fucked off) A £75 administration fee for handing any contracts. This includes when I sign to stay living in the place I am currently in and again every six months as they only do six month contracts. I have to leave my room unlocked at all times during the last two months of the tenancy in case they want to show anyone around. If they come round and my room is locked I will be charged £50. If I wish to make any changes to the contract these will cost £125 plus VAT per change. Oh yeah. This is all dated from "1st September" as my moving in date even tho' they only sent me the contract today. Phoned them up with a big fat "naw" and they said I need to vacate by 1st October. This was met with a bigger, fatter "naw". So now they want to discuss terms tomorrow. Whether I stay or find somewhere else I am now aiming to be the most annoying tenant they've ever had. Money grabbing b*****ds. Name and shame. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 Kipper behind a radiator. Bollocks. Too easy to detect and rectify. Prawns inside the curtain pole is where its at. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 Bollocks. Too easy to detect and rectify. Prawns inside the curtain pole is where its at. and inside the hem on the curtains 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaspianChris Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 These two aremails such scummy individuals who should have received harsher punishment and a 10 year ban from keeping animals should have been a lifetime one. That poor cat would have been in horrendous agony and terror in its final moments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45650969 Meghan closes a car door and upsets people. Someone should have told her that being dour and joyless is quintessentially British. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 I believe you’re in London so this might not be as apt advice, but whenever I’ve had letting issues I’ve always been told to contact citizens advice. Thankfully I’ve never needed too but a friend did and they were able to help them out big time Apparently Shelter, the homeless charity are supposed to be very good at this kind of thing also, top folks there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 I just learned that the Northern League have the Brooks Mileson Memorial League Cup. Isn't that nice? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 13 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Falkirk dwellers (only the ones with kids) The new Mariner Centre soft play area is open and is seriously milfy Bairnardo and a typical Falkirk MILF... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 A seal slaps a guy in a boat in the face with an octopus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 Falkirk dwellers (only the ones with kids)The new Mariner Centre soft play area is open and is seriously milfyI’m going to call this doubtful, or poor taste. However, should you not be talking pish, the novelty factor of a new soft play will soon wear off and the clientele will revert back to the normal greasy looking Camelon chubsters who aren’t easily scared off by the wee short guy thats always there hingin’ aboot...[emoji4] Bairnardo and a typical Falkirk MILF... That’s very much the female clientele normally frequenting the Mariner Centre. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 That’s very much the female clientele normally frequenting the Mariner Centre.Decent places to amuse kids are in short supply. Even milfs must brave Camelon sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 23 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 25 minutes ago, 8MileBU said: That’s very much the female clientele normally frequenting the Mariner Centre. Decent places to amuse kids are in short supply. Even milfs must brave Camelon sometimes. The long-since-close strip club in Dunfermline was notable for two things. Sol Bamba impregnating one of the dancers and the fact the club offered a daytime crèche for young dads like you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 The long-since-close strip club in Dunfermline was notable for two things. Sol Bamba impregnating one of the dancers and the fact the club offered a daytime crèche for young dads like you. Thats progress there. Falkirk hasn't had a strip club in my lifetime, never mind one with such modern and family oriented facilities. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Fae The YY Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: The long-since-close strip club in Dunfermline was notable for two things. Sol Bamba impregnating one of the dancers and the fact the club offered a daytime crèche for young dads like you. I went to school with her. 100% serious 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 Person desperate to be offended by something engineers something to be offended by https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-45657561 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: Decent places to amuse kids are in short supply. You mean ones you aren't banned from? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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