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588146dfce2da_ImageUploadedByPieBovril14


Nothing funny about the story but I love the picture. They zoomed in on the spit but you can see absolutely f**k all. Looking at the picture I'd have taken their word for it. The zoomed in picture of nothing gave me quite a chuckle.

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2 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I was getting a haircut by an well endowed lady and her constantly rubbing her tits on me as she cut my hair gave me an idea that a cross between Hooters and a barber would be success.
I also got a bit of a semi.

That's a million pound idea right there. Free to anyone that wants it.

Done years ago in Paisley.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/apr/18/lornamartin.theobserver

Despite local journalist Gavin Pennie doing everything he could to keep his mate's crappy establishment alive via purple headlines in the Paisley Daily Express (they'd previously tried being a cannabis paraphernalia shop called Bongheads - also failed), it managed to put itself out of business. Discovering the punters weren't beating a path (or anything else) to their doors they began offering "extra services" to try & stay afloat: within a week, they were appropriately "busted" by police.

Quite apart from picking one of the busiest parts of Paisley making for a massive deterrent to anyone going in, it was an area of town the police were seldom away from due to two feuding brothers next door to them running rival businesses with a tendency to come to blows every so often if one felt the other had "pinched" his customers. Never realised the piano trade was so cut throat.

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I was at the playpark earlier with my daughter and was pushing her on the swings when a boy of a similar age came over to the next swing with his mother. The Mum was about early 40s and probably semi decent in her day. Anyway, the wee boy kept shouting to be pushed higher which the Mum duly did. My wee one asked to do the same but I said no as he was going pretty high. The mum then said to me, its because he's a little wild before catching my eye and saying "Just like his Mum" they then stopped and left.

I don't know if she was making a joke or if she's not the Mum or maybe if I've been reading the MILF thread for too long. All I know is I'm going back the same time next week.

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I was at the playpark earlier with my daughter and was pushing her on the swings when a boy of a similar age came over to the next swing with his mother. The Mum was about early 40s and probably semi decent in her day. Anyway, the wee boy kept shouting to be pushed higher which the Mum duly did. My wee one asked to do the same but I said no as he was going pretty high. The mum then said to me, its because he's a little wild before catching my eye and saying "Just like his Mum" they then stopped and left.
I don't know if she was making a joke or if she's not the Mum or maybe if I've been reading the MILF thread for too long. All I know is I'm going back the same time next week.


I hoped you replied with 'oh aye' with a wink and a laugh.
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11 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said:

Unfortunately not, I behaved like an utter VL and smiled without saying a word.

I've got visions of you staring at her open mouthed then the swing coming back and hitting you square in the nuts.

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Walked into the office this morning just as one of my colleagues - a woman in her 50s - uttered the sentence, "I was just lying there getting pummelled and it was absolutely amazing".

Turns out she was talking about her daughter giving her a massage but I still felt a bit sick for a while after!

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I was getting a haircut by an well endowed lady and her constantly rubbing her tits on me as she cut my hair gave me an idea that a cross between Hooters and a barber would be success.
I also got a bit of a semi.
That's a million pound idea right there. Free to anyone that wants it.


On Twitter the other day I seen a thing come up for 'Naturist Cleaning' (basically naked people cleaning your house) and some incredibly tidy bird that worked there telling people (blokes) the prices for it.

Thought what kind of creepy b*****d would employ someone to do that.... Before slowly pondering it in my head.

Decided I'm not creepy enough for it.
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19 hours ago, WeAreElgin said:

 


I've just got mine in and it certainly does. It might be an idea to do it soon, before every cunto and his dog decides to go on holiday/flee Mayland.

 

My boss has already taken advantage of his mother's birthplace and has his Irish one in his back pocket despite having been there about twice.

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On Twitter the other day I seen a thing come up for 'Naturist Cleaning' (basically naked people cleaning your house) and some incredibly tidy bird that worked there telling people (blokes) the prices for it.

Thought what kind of creepy b*****d would employ someone to do that.... Before slowly pondering it in my head.

Decided I'm not creepy enough for it.


I saw someone like it too, I went back on it just now and found this. I think you dodged a bullet there Lichtie.

c32e6d4f973e974941f78ad62a9037bc.jpga15853417ced6157db88ccb9f68ecdff.jpg
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I saw someone like it too, I went back on it just now and found this. I think you dodged a bullet there Lichtie.

c32e6d4f973e974941f78ad62a9037bc.jpga15853417ced6157db88ccb9f68ecdff.jpg


:lol:

Possibly, on the other hand this is the girl I had seen touting her services....

IMG_1484934713.640690.thumb.jpg.c722fbfc

IMG_1484934721.742577.thumb.jpg.3f1c8aed

It's obviously really hit or miss. I'd probably go for the ugly one first just to make it look like I was really into the naturist stuff and that and not just in it for perving purposes, before asking for the tidy one. Tactics
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