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Things you want to share with P&B


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5 minutes ago, J_Stewart said:

Helped save an old, fat American guys life at the concession stand at Aladdin yesterday lunch time. Face planted in the queue and stopped breathing, so helped turn him on his back, did chest compressions while a nurse opened up his airway, and then helped put him in the recovery position when we got him breathing again. Was still unconscious when the ambulance came and paramedics took him away, but was breathing at least. Pretty mental and surreal.

Only wanted some M&M's and a couple of cokes.

His wallet was the least you deserve.

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This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. 

After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? 

 


Do it. Happened all the time here. Always better the second time. They start to marry, but just give the big NO. Never exchange numbers. Good Luck[emoji6]
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56 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Shandon always seems to jump straight to the most extreme measure.

Nosebleed?  Rip my jersey to shreds!

Forgotten key?  Kick the fucking door in!

Calm down, man.

Must have learned it from my dad. I remember being out with him one day. Came home and we were locked out. He just lobbed a brick straight through the bathroom window. No messing with checking for weak spots in doors, unlocked windows or calling a locksmith. 

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Must have learned it from my dad. I remember being out with him one day. Came home and we were locked out. He just lobbed a brick straight through the bathroom window. No messing with checking for weak spots in doors, unlocked windows or calling a locksmith. 


I take it he needed a pishe.
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5 hours ago, Dee Man said:

I know the feeling. I got my knee x-rayed earlier this year and it was pretty embarrassing.

 

images (14).jpg

Were you having a shite during an X-ray?

3 hours ago, J_Stewart said:

 


Aladdin was fucking tremendous, teebs. Iago is some boy. Jasmin's cleavage was also outstanding.

 

You know the rules...

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7 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. 

After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? 

Forgive my suspicious mind, but did she massage the wife too?

Also - phwoar, ding dong, etc.

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8 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. 

After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? 

 

 

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I think we can all agree that the appointment needs to be made, even if just to deal with Shandon's stiffness, which can be a terrible thing for a man to cope with.

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Came across this story on the politics thread of all places.

A definite wid, but how much would you be prepared to pay her for it?

http://thetab.com/uk/2016/12/02/im-selling-virginity-aleexandra-khefren-one-million-euros-27127?utm_source=transactional&utm_campaign=recommendednext&utm_medium=popular

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19 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said:

Came across this story on the politics thread of all places.

A definite wid, but how much would you be prepared to pay her for it?

http://thetab.com/uk/2016/12/02/im-selling-virginity-aleexandra-khefren-one-million-euros-27127?utm_source=transactional&utm_campaign=recommendednext&utm_medium=popular

There was a lassie in the US who had a similar idea years ago - IIRC, she had to settle for something like $40,000.

Why you'd want to pay for sex with someone who not only didn't want to be there, but also didn't have a clue what they were doing, is another matter entirely.

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Does anyone have any clue as to how this would actually work?
https://mobile.twitter.com/biilionaires/status/805909581218086917


Watched this earlier. Apparently the item is added to your basket (linked to your Amazon account) as soon as you pick it up off the shelf? How does that work? How does it know whose account is picking up what?

Hopefully this isn't operated by the same fuckers who make the self serve checkouts at ASDA or the world will go into meltdown.
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