KnightswoodBear Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: It has an EH postcode anyway. If it's any consolation the journey home took about 3 hours as had to go an pick up the kid from her granny's place in Fife. Got home to discovered I'd left the house keys at granny's. I'd only just put a new lock on the door after it jammed a week or two back and I had to kick the door in. I could feel the door was going to break before the lock so had to go back to granny's. I was in the bad books for that one. Shandon always seems to jump straight to the most extreme measure. Nosebleed? Rip my jersey to shreds! Forgotten key? Kick the fucking door in! Calm down, man. Edited December 5, 2016 by KnightswoodBear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 2 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: Shandon always seems to jump straight to the most extreme measure. Nosebleed? Rip my jersey to shreds! Forgotten key? Kick the fucking door in! Calm down, man. Can't find appropriate footwear? Wear Granny's! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Helped save an old, fat American guys life at the concession stand at Aladdin yesterday lunch time. Face planted in the queue and stopped breathing, so helped turn him on his back, did chest compressions while a nurse opened up his airway, and then helped put him in the recovery position when we got him breathing again. Was still unconscious when the ambulance came and paramedics took him away, but was breathing at least. Pretty mental and surreal. Only wanted some M&M's and a couple of cokes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Just now, J_Stewart said: Helped save an old, fat American guys life at the concession stand at Aladdin yesterday lunch time. Face planted in the queue and stopped breathing, so helped turn him on his back, did chest compressions while a nurse opened up his airway, and then helped put him in the recovery position when we got him breathing again. Was still unconscious when the ambulance came and paramedics took him away, but was breathing at least. Pretty mental and surreal. Only wanted some M&M's and a couple of cokes. Guy was trying to get out of watching Aladdin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 5 minutes ago, J_Stewart said: Helped save an old, fat American guys life at the concession stand at Aladdin yesterday lunch time. Face planted in the queue and stopped breathing, so helped turn him on his back, did chest compressions while a nurse opened up his airway, and then helped put him in the recovery position when we got him breathing again. Was still unconscious when the ambulance came and paramedics took him away, but was breathing at least. Pretty mental and surreal. Only wanted some M&M's and a couple of cokes. His wallet was the least you deserve. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Guy was trying to get out of watching Aladdin. Aladdin was fucking tremendous, teebs. Iago is some boy. Jasmin's cleavage was also outstanding. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? Do it. Happened all the time here. Always better the second time. They start to marry, but just give the big NO. Never exchange numbers. Good Luck[emoji6] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 56 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: Shandon always seems to jump straight to the most extreme measure. Nosebleed? Rip my jersey to shreds! Forgotten key? Kick the fucking door in! Calm down, man. Must have learned it from my dad. I remember being out with him one day. Came home and we were locked out. He just lobbed a brick straight through the bathroom window. No messing with checking for weak spots in doors, unlocked windows or calling a locksmith. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Must have learned it from my dad. I remember being out with him one day. Came home and we were locked out. He just lobbed a brick straight through the bathroom window. No messing with checking for weak spots in doors, unlocked windows or calling a locksmith. I take it he needed a pishe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 2 minutes ago, SlipperyP said: I take it he needed a pishe. Probably just sick of having to spend the afternoon looking after me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Probably just sick of having to spend the afternoon looking after me. On fathers day here. No I take he loved you as always. O see watch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 5 hours ago, Dee Man said: I know the feeling. I got my knee x-rayed earlier this year and it was pretty embarrassing. Were you having a shite during an X-ray? 3 hours ago, J_Stewart said: Aladdin was fucking tremendous, teebs. Iago is some boy. Jasmin's cleavage was also outstanding. You know the rules... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 5 hours ago, sjc said: it was cold in fairness..... Are you circumcised sjc? According to banana you might be able to sue over MGM. Don't know what the Hollywood angle is though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 7 hours ago, Shandon Par said: This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? Forgive my suspicious mind, but did she massage the wife too? Also - phwoar, ding dong, etc. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 59 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Forgive my suspicious mind, but did she massage the wife too? Also - phwoar, ding dong, etc. No, she had a different girl. Angling to share on the home leg though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzle Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Have sex with her Shandon then fill the boys in on the details, I have to live vicariously through lads like you these days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blootoon87 Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 8 hours ago, Shandon Par said: This is maybe one to send to Readers' Wives rather than P&B. I was away at the weekend for a spa break with my wife. We had massages etc booked and the girl doing my treatments could feel I had stiffness in my legs (that was the only place as I did my best to keep my mind on the shambling DAFC) and suggested I get a massage again in a month or so. Then she said if I couldn't make it back to the hotel she'd be happy to come to me. She said this was strictly against the hotel rules etc so not to mention it to them. After our treatments, my wife asked how it went. It went well, I told her and showed her that the masseuse had given me her number. She took this news well. I had half expected it to spark some sort of catfight chaos. Do I book a home visit? Is she just concerned for my general leg welfare? What's the next move? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I think we can all agree that the appointment needs to be made, even if just to deal with Shandon's stiffness, which can be a terrible thing for a man to cope with. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Came across this story on the politics thread of all places. A definite wid, but how much would you be prepared to pay her for it? http://thetab.com/uk/2016/12/02/im-selling-virginity-aleexandra-khefren-one-million-euros-27127?utm_source=transactional&utm_campaign=recommendednext&utm_medium=popular 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 10 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said: Book a home visit for your wife as a present. Could work out with a happy ending ;-) FTFY Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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