tamthebam Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 4 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Throbber and a harp for all eternity. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that the lake of fire sounds far more appealing. I think Scottish hell would be something like the Viking hell- a frozen wasteland Basically if you've been bad when you die your soul moves to Harthill if you're RC and Peterhead for the rest 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 13 hours ago, Stellaboz said: The missus wants to throw out beef we bought earlier because it's gone a bit dark in the fridge. This is absolutely normal behaviour for raw beef and it's taking some persuasion to stop her chucking it. Should I just kill her now or after tomorrow's BBQ? Have a sniff of it. If it smells a bit off , get rid. And the same goes for the beef. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 16 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: I'm going to have to side with the Green Jeanie here; it's an impressive toley. You don't half find some terrifying things when defrosting the freezer. We had something that looked suspiciously like a spinal column embedded in the glacier at the back of ours a month or two back. Do you live in a holiday complex in Portugal? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 10 hours ago, tamthebam said: I think Scottish hell would be something like the Viking hell- a frozen wasteland Basically if you've been bad when you die your soul moves to Harthill if you're RC and Peterhead for the rest Nah, it's got to be a stereotypical scorchio holiday resort, only there's no shade and clothes aren't allowed. Thousands of Scots slowly cooking away, frantically searching for a non-existent bottle of Factor 50, screaming "DON'T TOUCH ME!" for all eternity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 9 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Nah, it's got to be a stereotypical scorchio holiday resort, only there's no shade and clothes aren't allowed. Thousands of Scots slowly cooking away, frantically searching for a non-existent bottle of Factor 50, screaming "DON'T TOUCH ME!" for all eternity. Reminds me of the time I was in Barcelona in a nice restaurant and the nearby table was full of raucous Dundonians. I tried to keep my voice low so as not to be rumbled that I was Scottish and ended up talking to a couple of nice North Macedonians instead 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 6 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed. @throbberlives in Portobello, you could stay at the seaside with him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 6 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed. We live in a world of internet miracles where the world's knowledge is available at your fingertips. So in the next fortnight I'd learn to swear in as many languages as possible. Which will help with dealing with the kids . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GNU_Linux Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 [mention=40259]throbber[/mention]lives in Portobello, you could stay at the seaside with him.Sitcom potential here imo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 7 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: @throbberlives in Portobello, you could stay at the seaside with him. @Throbber's house will be empty while he's doing a reccy of Blackpool for the pilgrimage impending stag do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 19 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed. No idea. You could w**k until you drop but don’t know what you could do about the family so probably not a great idea. So in summary, dunno. Hope that helps. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 37 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed. Get out on the bikes. Or rent bikes and get out on them. Only 13 more days to fill.. 34 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Reminds me of the time I was in Barcelona in a nice restaurant and the nearby table was full of raucous Dundonians. Serves you right for trying to elevate oneself to nice restuarants. Keep in the fast food lane, chunky butt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Tynierose said: Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed. Cup quiz. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Good people of this site, this time next week I will have landed in Lanzarote. If only. Now I still have the fortnight off, has anyone got any suggestions how I can occupy myself and the family for a fortnight at home when most things are shut etc. Will try and stay enthused and cheery but to be honest this time next Sunday I will most likely be a seething mess. All suggestions welcomed.“Test positive” for COVID and isolate yourself in your room with a large supply of alcohol and whichever season of FM you favour 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Get a few bags of sand from Jewson's and sprinkle them around the living room until it's a couple of feet deep. Bring in the deck chairs and hook yourself up with a Sidney Sheldon book. Replace the light bulb with an industrial strength arc light and turn the central heating up to Chernobyl level. Wear your fitba shirt the whole time to make sure you get that lovely full sleeve tan. Hang a kipper at the open window so you get the sea breezes and boil up some whelks in the kitchen. Have Mrs Tynie make you a shitty full English for breakfast when you get up at noon, then watch Eastenders followed by Watford v Norwich via satellite. Drink lager until you're falling down fighting drunk and scream at the kids that if they don't stop bothering you, this will be the last holiday you'll take them on. Memories to last a lifetime. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 I put ovenpride cleaner inside the oven last night with the intent of cleaning it out this morning and then my girlfriend put the oven on this morning by mistake for a good few minutes. The house stinks now and the oven looks horrendous. Are we all going to die? Is our oven fucked? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 1 hour ago, throbber said: I put ovenpride cleaner inside the oven last night with the intent of cleaning it out this morning and then my girlfriend put the oven on this morning by mistake for a good few minutes. The house stinks now and the oven looks horrendous. Are we all going to die? Is our oven fucked? I've got good news and bad news: Yes, you are all going to die but your oven will be fine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 1 hour ago, throbber said: I put ovenpride cleaner inside the oven last night with the intent of cleaning it out this morning and then my girlfriend put the oven on this morning by mistake for a good few minutes. The house stinks now and the oven looks horrendous. Are we all going to die? Is our oven fucked? A replacement is clearly needed. Just make sure that the new one knows how to clean the oven. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 That Oven Pride stuff is horrific. It's not too bad going on, but they give you bags to soak the shelves in overnight, and the smell released when you open them is nightmarish. Genuinely gave me the boak by the time I was done, and then I had the oven itself to clean afterwards... Worked a treat, though. Absolutely ripped through the grease. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 It wasn’t that bad in the end after the initial terror - the house was stinking though. managed to clean off not bad despite it looking like this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Urgh, that could have been our oven a few weeks ago. Urp. That'll be no breakfast for me, then 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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