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6 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Mrs just contacted me to say she has lost her phone and could I try and locate it via “find my phone”?

QQ therefore is.. has she been pumping a sailor?

 

AEF03AB4-6E29-411C-BB98-88D91A46293D.jpeg

There is a cruise ship in the forth just now, best case is she's had her phone pinched by one of them, worst case pumping one of these types: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/27/passenger-in-clown-suit-prompts-mass-brawl-on-po-cruise-ship

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4 minutes ago, Dele said:

A repair technician. Mainly deck repairs (I'm assuming the overseas travel will be to cruise liners) 

 

5 minutes ago, Adam101 said:

There is a cruise ship in the forth just now, best case is she's had her phone pinched by one of them, worst case pumping one of these types: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/27/passenger-in-clown-suit-prompts-mass-brawl-on-po-cruise-ship

Case closed. 

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There is a cruise ship in the forth just now, best case is she's had her phone pinched by one of them, worst case pumping one of these types: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/27/passenger-in-clown-suit-prompts-mass-brawl-on-po-cruise-ship

She’s been pumping a clown for years now tbf

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Story : I cooked a load of broccoli and cauliflower yesterday to have as a side along with a plate of whatever it was. I also made up a packet cheese sauce and put that through it, there was hunners left so it went in a dish and was left on the counter. I reheated* it and had that solely for my tea.

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me. Am I going to die? Was it the reheated veg?

 

*1m30s. It was lukewarm.

Edited by Dele

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4 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Mrs just contacted me to say she has lost her phone and could I try and locate it via “find my phone”?

QQ therefore is.. has she been pumping a sailor?

 

AEF03AB4-6E29-411C-BB98-88D91A46293D.jpeg

Probably the next fad.  Text message in a bottle.  The phone will end up in Nigeria with some prince.  Nothing to worry about.  

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5 minutes ago, Dele said:

Story : I cooked a load of broccoli and cauliflower yesterday to have as a side along with a plate of whatever it was. I also made up a packet cheese sauce and put that through it, there was hunners left so it went in a dish and was left on the counter. I reheated* it and had that solely for my tea.

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me. Am I going to die? Was it the reheated veg?

 

*1m30s. It was lukewarm.

Probably the plate of whatever it was.

Or the milk used to create the sauce wasn't right.  Just a guess.

 

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5 minutes ago, Dele said:

Story : I cooked a load of broccoli and cauliflower yesterday to have as a side along with a plate of whatever it was. I also made up a packet cheese sauce and put that through it, there was hunners left so it went in a dish and was left on the counter. I reheated* it and had that solely for my tea.

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me. Am I going to die? Was it the reheated veg?

 

*1m30s. It was lukewarm.

Did you reheat the sauce or was that made today? That has caused similar issues for me in the past.

All I know for sure is that you will need a joblot of wet wipes.

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4 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Mrs just contacted me to say she has lost her phone and could I try and locate it via “find my phone”?

QQ therefore is.. has she been pumping a sailor?

 

AEF03AB4-6E29-411C-BB98-88D91A46293D.jpeg

I’m sure it’s just @Bairnardoon his way offshore so nothing new to worry about 

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8 minutes ago, Dele said:

Story : I cooked a load of broccoli and cauliflower yesterday to have as a side along with a plate of whatever it was. I also made up a packet cheese sauce and put that through it, there was hunners left so it went in a dish and was left on the counter. I reheated* it and had that solely for my tea.

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me. Am I going to die? Was it the reheated veg?

 

*1m30s. It was lukewarm.

Was it left uncovered ? If so then every fly in your neighborhood will have called in by your kitchen to have a wee taste of your leftovers , and then spew it back up and have a shite on it as well for good measure.

And you will die.  Maybe not immediately , but if I were you ,I wouldn't bother making any plans for the weekend.

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5 minutes ago, A96 said:

Was it left uncovered ? If so then every fly in your neighborhood will have called in by your kitchen to have a wee taste of your leftovers , and then spew it back up and have a shite on it as well for good measure.

And you will die.  Maybe not immediately , but if I were you ,I wouldn't bother making any plans for the weekend.

Awww, he’ll miss Sunday though.

Spoiler

 

 

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25 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Did you reheat the sauce or was that made today? That has caused similar issues for me in the past.

All I know for sure is that you will need a joblot of wet wipes.

The sauce was through it, I overcooked the cauli and broccoli so it was all a bit of a mush. Wasn't left uncovered. 

I have about 4 wet wipes left already. :(

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37 minutes ago, Dele said:

Story : I cooked a load of broccoli and cauliflower yesterday to have as a side along with a plate of whatever it was. I also made up a packet cheese sauce and put that through it, there was hunners left so it went in a dish and was left on the counter. I reheated* it and had that solely for my tea.

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me. Am I going to die? Was it the reheated veg?

 

*1m30s. It was lukewarm.

^^^^^^suffering Dele Belly

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4 minutes ago, Dele said:

The sauce was through it, I overcooked the cauli and broccoli so it was all a bit of a mush. Wasn't left uncovered. 

I have about 4 wet wipes left already. :(

 

Eat them and they'll clean your arse on the way out.

Edited by Sergeant Wilson

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2 hours ago, Rugster said:

I’m sure it’s just @Bairnardoon his way offshore so nothing new to worry about 

Well she’s quite partial to a little seaman.

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2 hours ago, Dele said:

Question : my stomach is now killing me and there's lava like substance shooting out of me.

 Am I going to die?

Was it the reheated veg?

 

Gonorrhoea 

You can get an antibiotic jag

Don’t call her that, it’s disrespectful 

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Mrs just contacted me to say she has lost her phone and could I try and locate it via “find my phone”?
QQ therefore is.. has she been pumping a sailor?
 
AEF03AB4-6E29-411C-BB98-88D91A46293D.thumb.jpeg.4379157303e498fb8fd9b07b2513565e.jpeg
She's a drug dealer and has forgotten to destroy the sim in her burner before launching it into the sea IMO.

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some Fringe Fud was trying to foist a leaflet on me at lunchtime today for some comedian who was "the 11th most popular Jeremy at the BBC". 

which got me and my workmates thinking- could we name the other 10. We got:

Jeremy Paxman

Jeremy Vine

Jeremy Kyle (well, perhaps he was on the other side)

Jeremy Hardy

Jeremy Isaacs

Jeremy Irons (he was on "Play Away" you know)

Jeremy Clarkson 

and we wondered if Jeremy Hunt and Jeremy Corbyn counted as they might have appeared on "Question Time" in the past. Any ideas Jeremy fans? 

btw- we never actually bothered to find out the name of the comedian. Perhaps he was actually called Joe and that was the joke. 

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8 hours ago, tamthebam said:

some Fringe Fud was trying to foist a leaflet on me at lunchtime today for some comedian who was "the 11th most popular Jeremy at the BBC". 

which got me and my workmates thinking- could we name the other 10. We got:

Jeremy Paxman

Jeremy Vine

Jeremy Kyle (well, perhaps he was on the other side)

Jeremy Hardy

Jeremy Isaacs

Jeremy Irons (he was on "Play Away" you know)

Jeremy Clarkson 

and we wondered if Jeremy Hunt and Jeremy Corbyn counted as they might have appeared on "Question Time" in the past. Any ideas Jeremy fans? 

btw- we never actually bothered to find out the name of the comedian. Perhaps he was actually called Joe and that was the joke. 

https://twitter.com/jeremy_nicholas?lang=en

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