GordonD Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: Out weird him. Answer the door stark naked and ask what he's got in his pocket this time. Reminds me of the joke: I just shocked my postman by going to the door naked. I don't know what surprised him more - the fact that I was naked, or that I know where he lives. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Kill him. He'll murder you both in your beds if you don't.Agreed. Get the first punch in, then keep hitting him until he goes limp.Do you have an old carpet? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 2 hours ago, Moomintroll said: Would that not be an open goal for him to get the violin out again? 49 minutes ago, Scary Bear said: Agreed. Get the first punch in, then keep hitting him until he goes limp. Well, this discussion is taking an interesting but strange turn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Well, this discussion is taking an interesting but strange turn.Euphception imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Who the f**k talks to their postie? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 My wife does, as do I. She went to school with her and is one of her friends. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Posties in Dundee know better than to knock on folks doors. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 I bought our postie a bottle of gin at Christmas to say sorry for having to deal with the industrial amount of parcels that Mrs Mathematics gets delivered daily. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 18 minutes ago, mathematics said: I bought our postie a bottle of gin at Christmas to say sorry for having to deal with the industrial amount of parcels that Mrs Mathematics gets delivered daily. Fool! Postman are alcoholic loners, every last one of them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Two options: (a) Be a snide w**k and report him; (b) Knock f**k out of him for insulting your wife.Or both. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Who the f**k talks to their postie? I'd talk to her if she was my postie.. but this is a more likely scenario.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 6 hours ago, MixuFixit said: This is a weird one. My postie has always been a bit hard work, he can't just give you your post, he has to make some shit joke before handing it over. I've always done my best to discourage him by just going "oh right" and never laughing. Today he knocked on the door and the missus answered. She has a brace on her arm just now and he goes "oh you've hurt your arm" and she explains how she's hurt it picking up our son. He goes "hang on", reaches into his jacket, pulls out a wee box, takes - I shit you not - a wee toy violin out, pretends to play it then hands over our post. Am I a grumpy auld basturt for thinking this veers into OFTW territory? Has he clocked her brace and brought it specifically to engineer this uncomfortable interaction, or is he a wannabe comedian with a prop for every eventuality? Would you phone up to ask his boss to tell him to stop being such a weirdo and just give us our post, or am I just being a killjoy about an eccentric character? what you need is something to put the fear into the cnut, like a rottweiler. Or even better... Spoiler 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 2 hours ago, philpy said: My wife does, as do I. She went to school with her and is one of her friends. Wid 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 This is a weird one.My postie has always been a bit hard work, he can't just give you your post, he has to make some shit joke before handing it over. I've always done my best to discourage him by just going "oh right" and never laughing.Today he knocked on the door and the missus answered. She has a brace on her arm just now and he goes "oh you've hurt your arm" and she explains how she's hurt it picking up our son. He goes "hang on", reaches into his jacket, pulls out a wee box, takes - I shit you not - a wee toy violin out, pretends to play it then hands over our post.Am I a grumpy auld basturt for thinking this veers into OFTW territory? Has he clocked her brace and brought it specifically to engineer this uncomfortable interaction, or is he a wannabe comedian with a prop for every eventuality? Would you phone up to ask his boss to tell him to stop being such a weirdo and just give us our post, or am I just being a killjoy about an eccentric character?Do you speak to any of your neighbours? Maybe ask if he's a p***k with them too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 3 hours ago, Swarley said: 13 hours ago, MixuFixit said: This is a weird one. My postie has always been a bit hard work, he can't just give you your post, he has to make some shit joke before handing it over. I've always done my best to discourage him by just going "oh right" and never laughing. Today he knocked on the door and the missus answered. She has a brace on her arm just now and he goes "oh you've hurt your arm" and she explains how she's hurt it picking up our son. He goes "hang on", reaches into his jacket, pulls out a wee box, takes - I shit you not - a wee toy violin out, pretends to play it then hands over our post. Am I a grumpy auld basturt for thinking this veers into OFTW territory? Has he clocked her brace and brought it specifically to engineer this uncomfortable interaction, or is he a wannabe comedian with a prop for every eventuality? Would you phone up to ask his boss to tell him to stop being such a weirdo and just give us our post, or am I just being a killjoy about an eccentric character? Do you speak to any of your neighbours? Maybe ask if he's a p***k with them too. Who talks to their neighbours? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 3 hours ago, Swarley said: 13 hours ago, MixuFixit said: This is a weird one. My postie has always been a bit hard work, he can't just give you your post, he has to make some shit joke before handing it over. I've always done my best to discourage him by just going "oh right" and never laughing. Today he knocked on the door and the missus answered. She has a brace on her arm just now and he goes "oh you've hurt your arm" and she explains how she's hurt it picking up our son. He goes "hang on", reaches into his jacket, pulls out a wee box, takes - I shit you not - a wee toy violin out, pretends to play it then hands over our post. Am I a grumpy auld basturt for thinking this veers into OFTW territory? Has he clocked her brace and brought it specifically to engineer this uncomfortable interaction, or is he a wannabe comedian with a prop for every eventuality? Would you phone up to ask his boss to tell him to stop being such a weirdo and just give us our post, or am I just being a killjoy about an eccentric character? Do you speak to any of your neighbours? Maybe ask if he's a p***k with them too. Maybe It was Bairnardo’s Double bass he was delivering. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 8 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Who talks to their neighbours? ^^^^^ Just steals their underwear off the washing line. Wouldn't be so bad if it was the women's... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 Did Saint Mirren lose earlier today? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 Did Saint Mirren lose earlier today?Lose what? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 5 minutes ago, jimmy boo said: 9 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said: Did Saint Mirren lose earlier today? Lose what? Div turned the internet off for a bit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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