Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 1 minute ago, Moomintroll said: 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: That’s a no, then. How the hell did I miss that open goal. I’m in the sweeper role these days A1(M). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 I’m in the sweeper role these days A1(M).Us Killie lads are all A55 this weather M56. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 12 minutes ago, Moomintroll said: Us Killie lads are all A55 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 Stupid European football is clearly affecting my filter with regards to deciphering comedy licence plates. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Mackey Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 6 hours ago, GordonD said: Parcels going astray seems to be happening more and more. A couple of weeks ago I ordered some microwave meals (I can't cook) and got the acknowledgement e-mail that they would be delivered on Monday 10 June. On that day DHL's tracking page eventually claimed they had been delivered and signed for with my name - but it hadn't come here. I filled in their feedback form and got the automatic reply that they would contact me within one working day. By the Wednesday, nothing, so I filled in another form and said I was unwilling to accept the parcel, it being food items, and how did I claim compensation? A week went by with no response (other than the automatic one) but a mate told me that my claim was with the meals company, not DHL. I phoned DHL yesterday anyway and they said they would check with the driver but they also said I had to phone the meals company to claim. So I did and they immediately offered me a refund or replacement parcel. I went for the replacement and asked for it to be delivered tomorrow (Friday) as I was planning on going out today. In spite of this DHL e-mailed to say the parcel would be delivered today, which meant I had to change my plans. In fact they e-mailed twice, because they were delivering the original as well! The tracking page for that one had mysteriously changed from 'it has been delivered and signed for' to 'the driver couldn't get access'. Sure enough two boxes were delivered; the driver said he'd been on holiday and the relief guy had gone to the wrong address. However I'm happy because I now have two boxes of meals for the price of one, and the guy at the meal company told me to keep the original if it ever appeared. The box hasn't been tampered with and the meals are good for at least six months (they're vacuum-packed, not frozen, so no thawing out while the parcel was in limbo). You cannae even make a fuckin omelette???? Are you a doomsday prepper? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 On 19/06/2019 at 10:41, jimmy boo said: On a similar note, what are the luminous plastic things you see over wheel nuts of trucks and buses? remains of cyclists hi-vis vests... Spoiler 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 7 hours ago, GordonD said: Parcels going astray seems to be happening more and more. A couple of weeks ago I ordered some microwave meals (I can't cook) and got the acknowledgement e-mail that they would be delivered on Monday 10 June. On that day DHL's tracking page eventually claimed they had been delivered and signed for with my name - but it hadn't come here. I filled in their feedback form and got the automatic reply that they would contact me within one working day. By the Wednesday, nothing, so I filled in another form and said I was unwilling to accept the parcel, it being food items, and how did I claim compensation? A week went by with no response (other than the automatic one) but a mate told me that my claim was with the meals company, not DHL. I phoned DHL yesterday anyway and they said they would check with the driver but they also said I had to phone the meals company to claim. So I did and they immediately offered me a refund or replacement parcel. I went for the replacement and asked for it to be delivered tomorrow (Friday) as I was planning on going out today. In spite of this DHL e-mailed to say the parcel would be delivered today, which meant I had to change my plans. In fact they e-mailed twice, because they were delivering the original as well! The tracking page for that one had mysteriously changed from 'it has been delivered and signed for' to 'the driver couldn't get access'. Sure enough two boxes were delivered; the driver said he'd been on holiday and the relief guy had gone to the wrong address. However I'm happy because I now have two boxes of meals for the price of one, and the guy at the meal company told me to keep the original if it ever appeared. The box hasn't been tampered with and the meals are good for at least six months (they're vacuum-packed, not frozen, so no thawing out while the parcel was in limbo). "yes officer, that package of suspicious material is actually a microwave meal" uh-huh.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 On 03/05/2019 at 09:43, Melanius Mullarkey said: What kind of fish is this? What have you started...? https://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/17720183.large-fish-skeleton-discovered-in-charlestown/ Mr Smallman from Dunfermline (I think he’s Bairnardo’s Fife cousin) asks “what kind of fish is this”. Expect a call from The Dunfermline Press soon MM. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 22 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mr Smallman from Dunfermline (I think he’s Bairnardo’s Fife cousin) asks “what kind of fish is this”. Expect a call from The Dunfermline Press soon MM. A dead one. Can I please claim my £5? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 11 hours ago, Vic Mackey said: You cannae even make a fuckin omelette???? Never tried, but I can make a cheese one. But you can't live on them. 11 hours ago, Vic Mackey said: Are you a doomsday prepper? Not such a bad idea considering that Boris is about to take charge. Even though the hypocritical c**t declared in 2007 that it was undemocratic for Gordon Brown to take over as PM from Tony Blair without calling an election because the public hadn't voted for him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 18 hours ago, GordonD said: A couple of weeks ago I ordered some microwave meals Where from? Any good? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, welshbairn said: Where from? Any good? https://www.parsleybox.com/menu/ Used to be based here in Edinburgh but they've expanded and moved to Livingston (not the best recommendation, I know) but the food is good. £2.99 per meal for most stuff. As I said the meals aren't frozen; you just keep them on the shelf, but the batch I just received have use-by dates of January and beyond. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 1 hour ago, GordonD said: https://www.parsleybox.com/menu/ Used to be based here in Edinburgh but they've expanded and moved to Livingston (not the best recommendation, I know) but the food is good. £2.99 per meal for most stuff. As I said the meals aren't frozen; you just keep them on the shelf, but the batch I just received have use-by dates of January and beyond. Fucking hell, you can have it in any colour you like as long as it's brown. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Fucking hell, you can have it in any colour you like as long as it's brown.^^^ reported for racism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 30 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: Fucking hell, you can have it in any colour you like as long as it's brown. What d'you expect for three quid? Anyway, now that this particular thread has morphed from the inadequacy of delivery companies to my lack of culinary skills, let me clarify something. When I said I couldn't cook, I wasn't referring to stuff like bacon and eggs, omelettes, or even steak and chips. I can do those. I was talking about 'cooking', the sort of stuff there are dozens of TV programmes about, presented by twats like Jamie Oliver who run restaurants that charge a week's wages for a meal. Your definition may vary but that's what I meant. So if I fancy a nutritious meal of meat and two veg (cue Kenneth) why should I spend an hour preparing it when I can pop one in the microwave (ah, Hattie's here too) and it's ready in three minutes? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, GordonD said: What d'you expect for three quid? What are the portion sizes like? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: What are the portion sizes like? Not colossal. Enough for anything short of a greedy b*****d. They do 50% larger meals for an extra pound, but not for all of the dishes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 (edited) A nutritious meal that you can keep on your shelf for 6 months and then pop in the micro for 3 minutes. I'm not sure 'nutritious' is a word I'd use to describe it. Edit : you never said nutritious. As you were, carry on. Edited June 21, 2019 by Dele 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Mmmm puke on a plate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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