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On 10/24/2018 at 11:09, Stellaboz said:

We're talking absolute munter remember

We need some examples here, surely. It's not that I don't trust you, but you are mates with DA Baracus, and I can't help but feel that my new sexually-deviant hottie is going to be delivered with a face like the Rancor's ringpiece. And no limbs, most likely.

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10 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

We need some examples here, surely. It's not that I don't trust you, but you are mates with DA Baracus, and I can't help but feel that my new sexually-deviant hottie is going to be delivered with a face like the Rancor's ringpiece. And no limbs, most likely.

 

Edith.jpg

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6 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

If prepping and marking takes up so much of teachers' free time, how come so many were able to go protesting around Glasgow all day yesterday? And where did they get time to make all the banners? And did they use school materials?

So many questions.

School materials? You mean the materials teachers need to supply their pupils with from their own money because the schools don't have any. 

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As RN alluded to, don't enter the country without a work visa of some sort. They'll just make you leave and re-enter with the proper one. Pain in the arse. Good luck getting one without being married to a citizen however as, unless things have changed, they're like hens' teeth and aren't cheap.
Definitely go if you can. If things don't work out with the girlfriend, you'll be reeking of the fanny by the time you get back. The accent goes down an absolute storm, and I'm not remotely joking.
All true.... id suggest you go alone, its like fishing with dynamite, its not even funny.
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10 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

If prepping and marking takes up so much of teachers' free time, how come so many were able to go protesting around Glasgow all day yesterday? And where did they get time to make all the banners? And did they use school materials?

So many questions.

So few brain cells.

 

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Which woman would you prefer to shag?

Lady 1 is everything you wanted in the sack. Does everything you want and then some. Perfect body, gives you a boner just thinking of it. But she's got a face like a banshee, totally utterly dugmeat puss.

Or Lady 2. Boring body, boring shag but a face that you'd love to wipe yer boab on, an absolute masterpiece.

1 or 2?
As my dear auld dad says

' ya dinny look at the mantelpiece when yir poking the fire'

So for me its 1 all day long
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Digressing from more important matters, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of a hug from a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Alternatively, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of not being hugged by a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

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10 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Digressing from more important matters, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of a hug from a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Alternatively, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of not being hugged by a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

What's her name?

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10 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Digressing from more important matters, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of a hug from a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Alternatively, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of not being hugged by a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Unless you're too big to fit in the gap where the washing machine goes you could probably do it. If the  machine is new its just a question of taking a few packaging/restraining bolts out of the back, shoving the grey drain hose onto or into the drain bit below the kitchen sink, attaching the blue pipe to the water supply and hand tightening then check that it's reasonably level. Be a man Dave. 

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12 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Digressing from more important matters, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of a hug from a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Alternatively, does anyone know a plumber in the Falkirk area who'd be willing to plumb in a washing machine on the cheap for a local charity, with the added bonus of not being hugged by a fat, hairy Alloa fan?

Magee?

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On 25/10/2018 at 21:26, ah-dee said:

just had a packet of bananas and shrimps. why do the bananas taste like bananas yet the shrimp dont taste like shrimp?

Nothing banana flavoured tastes like banana.  Foam bananas taste of chemicals, which is why they taste magnificent whilst the actual fruit gives me the boak*

 

*nothing to do with texture 

Edited by Hedgecutter
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