paranoid android Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 c**t's cannae leave anything alone - there's also a lot less sugar in them these days. I liked it when The Mighty Boosh decapitated the honey monster in their live show. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI Bruce Robertson Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Tried that, thought it was pish. For some light amusement, I'd try The Broons or Oor Wullie annuals. More seriously, if it's fiction with a smile, you can't beat anything by our very own Christopher Brookmyre - my go to read on holiday, not read anything by Chris that doesn't have me captivated and chuckling.For biography, the best I've read recently are Stephen Fry (both first & second). Davie Niven, or George Best, The Good, the Bad & the bubbly. Or if you are on holiday with your bird, you might find Crime & Punishment is better than spending time handbag shopping.No doubt young Aidan will be along to present far better options than I.Helpful c**t that he is! Sent from a dark, dank hellhole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 2 minutes ago, DI Bruce Robertson said: More seriously, if it's fiction with a smile, you can't beat anything by our very own Christopher Brookmyre - my go to read on holiday, not read anything by Chris that doesn't have me captivated and chuckling. Well I think that clears up who this alias belongs to. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI Bruce Robertson Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 ?I wish I had the talent of Chris.ETA- alias? I'm a brand new poster. Sent from a dark, dank hellhole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 4 minutes ago, DI Bruce Robertson said: ? I wish I had the talent of Chris. ETA- alias? I'm a brand new poster. Sent from a dark, dank hellhole. Exactly what an alias would say. And ETA when you haven't actually edited anything? That's a grim way to post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI Bruce Robertson Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I edited that post- in my brain.Just saw ETA on another post and thought it was cool, as if is digested a post and then come back after great thought. And you are barking up the wrong tree if you think I'm an alias. ETA- you're very dull.Sent from a dark, dank hellhole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 17 hours ago, paranoid android said: The Bible? Seen the film, he's not really dead, he comes back. Not as good as Gladiator. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 19 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Seen the film, he's not really dead, he comes back. Not as good as Gladiator. Should have used spoilers here. IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Just now, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: Should have used spoilers here. IMO. Sorry, the Soddom and Gommorah is my favourite bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 39 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Seen the film, he's not really dead, he comes back. Not as good as Gladiator. Sakes man, spoiler alert ffs, right I'm away to watch Titanic, hoping for a happy ending (I'm taking a prozzy). G-Bo(re) -4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 17 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Sorry, the Soddom and Gommorah is my favourite bit. They'd never get away with it nowadays with all this H&S PC brigade, Missus Lot would have to end up as a pillar of sand or something. G-Bo(re) -3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 It's nearly 30 years since A Tribe of Toffs released their magnum opus, "John Kettley (is a Weatherman)", with lyrics like "Ayrton Senna, has the voice of a tenor" and "David Icke, rides a bike". It's high-time this record was re-written for the modern era. However, the only new lyrics I can come up with is "Johnny Adair, has no hair". And even his celebrity has now faded so I'm not sure I should include it. Anyone got any suggestions for more rhyming couplets? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 24 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: It's nearly 30 years since A Tribe of Toffs released their magnum opus, "John Kettley (is a Weatherman)", with lyrics like "Ayrton Senna, has the voice of a tenor" and "David Icke, rides a bike". It's high-time this record was re-written for the modern era. However, the only new lyrics I can come up with is "Johnny Adair, has no hair". And even his celebrity has now faded so I'm not sure I should include it. Anyone got any suggestions for more rhyming couplets? Katie Price, she's not very nice? Piers Morgan, sexual organ? James Corden - you're the dullest, unfunniest 'comedian' ever, please use your money and fame to build a rocket, and fire yourself into the sun* *ok, not very snappy, and doesn't rhyme, but it sums up the way I feel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerSaint Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 (edited) I got a parking ticket a few weeks back. I have a parking permit for my work but on this day it had been blown upside down by the wind when leaving the car. I just ignored it as I thought it was generally accepted that they are unenforceable. A work colleague told me that had changed recently and today I got a letter through the door. What does P&B think? Ignore it again? Edited August 26, 2016 by GingerSaint 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 Piers Morgan, sexual organ? [emoji38]Laughed at this far more than was probably necessary 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 I got a parking ticket a few weeks back. I have a parking permit for my work but on this day it had been blown upside down by the wind when leaving the car. I just ignored it as I thought it was generally accepted that they are unenforceable. A work colleague told me that had changed recently and today I got a letter through the door. What does P&B think? Ignore it again? If it's a private ticket it's still just an invoice that can't be enforced, but they do have the option to take it to civil court if they feel the need to. Also before Mark Connolly gives me into trouble for helping, you're a c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerSaint Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 7 minutes ago, Aidan said: If it's a private ticket it's still just an invoice that can't be enforced, but they do have the option to take it to civil court if they feel the need to. Also before Mark Connolly gives me into trouble for helping, you're a c**t. Thanks, you c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 27 minutes ago, GingerSaint said: I got a parking ticket a few weeks back. I have a parking permit for my work but on this day it had been blown upside down by the wind when leaving the car. I just ignored it as I thought it was generally accepted that they are unenforceable. A work colleague told me that had changed recently and today I got a letter through the door. What does P&B think? Ignore it again? Tell them to go and f**k themselves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Stubbs Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 What's the going rate for a house cleaner? I'm moving next week and I really, really can't be fucked with the big moving out clean. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 What's the going rate for a house cleaner? I'm moving next week and I really, really can't be fucked with the big moving out clean. £20/25 for the hour? Can't imagine it'll be much more than that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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