scottsdad Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 4 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said: Aye the health visitor was friendly but did give off a very ‘you’re just a mental new mum’ vibe in what she was saying. I am being as supportive as I possibly can, the whole thing is taking it’s toll on her. Just wish I could do more. All parents get this. Your first kid, and you're paranoid about them. Every little think and you're panicking. We had Scott at the hospital 3 or 4 times in his first six months as we were always so on edge. By the second kid they're in the garden eating worms and you just think "it'll probably be good for her". 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 8 minutes ago, scottsdad said: All parents get this. Your first kid, and you're paranoid about them. Every little think and you're panicking. We had Scott at the hospital 3 or 4 times in his first six months as we were always so on edge. By the second kid they're in the garden eating worms and you just think "it'll probably be good for her". My third is ferrel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, RH33 said: My third is ferrel. Tell Will we're asking for him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 4 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Tell Will we're asking for him. If you see him tell him he can have his child back...... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 All parents get this. Your first kid, and you're paranoid about them. Every little think and you're panicking. We had Scott at the hospital 3 or 4 times in his first six months as we were always so on edge. By the second kid they're in the garden eating worms and you just think "it'll probably be good for her".I have to admit I was "second kid" approach right off the bat with my first one. The Mrs would sometimes worry about things and the Grandparents thought she was made of thin glass but I was always pretty relaxed with whatever happened. Similarly with the second. If it's my nephews or niece though I'm far more cautious. I think, if I break my own children it doesn't really matter but I better be careful with other folks' [emoji38] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Little miss dons_2021 is now feeding normally again as expected. mrs dons_1988 just asked me if she massively overreacted to everything…. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said: Little miss dons_2021 is now feeding normally again as expected. mrs dons_1988 just asked me if she massively overreacted to everything…. No she reacted much as any first time mum running on no sleep and hormones would've. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 24 minutes ago, RH33 said: No she reacted much as any first time mum running on no sleep and hormones would've. I know, I was being facetious really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 17 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said: I know, I was being facetious really. Aye but that answer won't get you booted in the baws 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, RH33 said: Aye but that answer won't get you booted in the baws Don’t worry, I learned my lesson after I said being ill was good for her immune system. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Another few poor feeds today and mrs dons_1988 has gone absolutely spare. I am beginning to be genuinely worried about her. She is saying things that are scaring me. 10 years together and I have never seen her as broken as she is now. It seems she is having thoughts like I did a few years ago and it utterly breaks my heart. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Another few poor feeds today and mrs dons_1988 has gone absolutely spare. I am beginning to be genuinely worried about her. She is saying things that are scaring me. 10 years together and I have never seen her as broken as she is now. It seems she is having thoughts like I did a few years ago and it utterly breaks my heart. New mums are paranoid about everything. I think it comes with the territory. Won’t breast feed it’s their fault. Don’t feed properly from a bottle. Their fault. It’s enormously hard to get them to see new babies sometimes feed well other times not as all of this is new to them as well. All you can do is be there to offer her support and importantly keep reassuring her she’s doing a great job and every little bit of progress the wee one makes is a result of her hard work. Dads help but at this time we have to just be altruistic about it. It’ll be hard on you as well so don’t try and deal with all. To be there for her you’ll need to be strong and that’ll mean you need to look after yourself as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 9 minutes ago, BigBo10 said: New mums are paranoid about everything. I think it comes with the territory. Won’t breast feed it’s their fault. Don’t feed properly from a bottle. Their fault. It’s enormously hard to get them to see new babies sometimes feed well other times not as all of this is new to them as well. All you can do is be there to offer her support and importantly keep reassuring her she’s doing a great job and every little bit of progress the wee one makes is a result of her hard work. Dads help but at this time we have to just be altruistic about it. It’ll be hard on you as well so don’t try and deal with all. To be there for her you’ll need to be strong and that’ll mean you need to look after yourself as well. Thanks. I try and be as positive and supportive as I can everyday. I know that at this moment in time she isn’t herself. What I don’t know is when I need to do more. She keeps telling me she’s not cut out for this and maybe I’d be better off without her. It’s stuff that is genuinely scary for me because I’ve been through it and it’s an awful place to be. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want medicine, therapy or any help whatsoever but wtf do I do if this escalated further. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 39 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said: Thanks. I try and be as positive and supportive as I can everyday. I know that at this moment in time she isn’t herself. What I don’t know is when I need to do more. She keeps telling me she’s not cut out for this and maybe I’d be better off without her. It’s stuff that is genuinely scary for me because I’ve been through it and it’s an awful place to be. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want medicine, therapy or any help whatsoever but wtf do I do if this escalated further. What's her relationship like with her mum? Could you talk to her to express your concerns, or a close friend of hers? It's a lonely time, it was only with hindsight I can see the toll first two took on me. Third time I had full breakdown. But I had pre existing ossues. Also if she has any parenting magazines.or books, burn them 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 Thanks. I try and be as positive and supportive as I can everyday. I know that at this moment in time she isn’t herself. What I don’t know is when I need to do more. She keeps telling me she’s not cut out for this and maybe I’d be better off without her. It’s stuff that is genuinely scary for me because I’ve been through it and it’s an awful place to be. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want medicine, therapy or any help whatsoever but wtf do I do if this escalated further. I'm no doctor/midwife but it's sounding like post natal depression. If she isn't wanting any help do you think there is any way you could contact your midwife and tell her what's happening? She may be able to broach the subject better than yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 2 hours ago, Dons_1988 said: Another few poor feeds today and mrs dons_1988 has gone absolutely spare. I am beginning to be genuinely worried about her. She is saying things that are scaring me. 10 years together and I have never seen her as broken as she is now. It seems she is having thoughts like I did a few years ago and it utterly breaks my heart. 55 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: I'm no doctor/midwife but it's sounding like post natal depression. If she isn't wanting any help do you think there is any way you could contact your midwife and tell her what's happening? She may be able to broach the subject better than yourself. Aye I think this is yer best bet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 7 hours ago, Busta Nut said: Aye I think this is yer best bet. Would depend on the midwife/health visitor. As discussed previously, they're often ones who create some of the anxiety and feeling of judgement. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 7 hours ago, Busta Nut said: Aye I think this is yer best bet. 8 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: I'm no doctor/midwife but it's sounding like post natal depression. If she isn't wanting any help do you think there is any way you could contact your midwife and tell her what's happening? She may be able to broach the subject better than yourself. 14 minutes ago, RH33 said: Would depend on the midwife/health visitor. As discussed previously, they're often ones who create some of the anxiety and feeling of judgement. Thanks all. I don’t think the health visitor would be great tbh. She’s found a mums support group that she’s agreed to attend virtually tomorrow night. She does recognise that she’s struggling with it all. She doesn’t want pills or anything and I totally understand that. I guess as long as she recognises there’s a problem and she’s taking steps to address them well be alright. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Dons_1988 said: Another few poor feeds today and mrs dons_1988 has gone absolutely spare. I am beginning to be genuinely worried about her. She is saying things that are scaring me. 10 years together and I have never seen her as broken as she is now. It seems she is having thoughts like I did a few years ago and it utterly breaks my heart. Could be PND, get her to the GP pdq What 19QOS19 said Edited October 17, 2021 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said: Could be PND, get her to the GP pdq What 19QOS19 said I think it is. The language she’s used reminds me a lot of me in my darkest moments a few years ago. She is point blank refusing to see a GP regardless of what I say. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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