Pregnancy And Parenting

[Busta Nut]

5 hours ago, The Minertaur said:

So that's my little boy 2 months old now and it's been a great journey so far.  Tired? Yes.  Worth it though now that he's starting to smile!

Also a wonderful feeling when I was chatting to a colleague who had a baby just before we did.  Their little one is up 2/3 times a night wanting a feed.  Mine?  Falls asleep at 11 and tends to wake up about half 6 when I'd want to be up for work anyway  

11pm?
I dunno how it works for everyone but is that not late?

[RH33]

4 hours ago, FK1Bairn said:

Thanks to everybody for the replies. I spoke to his teacher this morning and she basically said it is a perfectly normal mistake mainly due to the 'learn through play' meaning they're not getting a 'flow' of writing but once they're writing more this kind of mistake happens less often. 

She said its something she'll keep an eye on especially if it's still happening in a year or two's time

There's been a shift away from getting a pencil in kids hand at P1 and teaching writting, in part as research has shown before around age 7, children don't have the grip and motor control. Instead it's more about giving them chance to develop through softer teaching methods.

He's only little so as I said I wouldn't be worrying too much.

[The Minertaur]

13 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

11pm?
I dunno how it works for everyone but is that not late?

No idea.  He has just gotten into a routine of wanting a feed around half 10 and then he just KO's for the night.  He can have a huge feed at 9ish and fall asleep but he'll still wake up at half 10 wanting more!

[Ross.]

On 12/09/2021 at 11:48, johnnydun said:

Spoke too soon.

She has tested positive for Covid this morning and will have to give birth alone. 

We won't be able to see the bairn for 10 days either.

Congratulations on the birth and I hope they are all well?

Was anyone allowed to visit during the 10 days or was it mother and child only? My boy was born as the whole covid shebang kicked off, spent his first night in intensive care due to a slight breathing issue, and as my missus had developed a fever during the labour she wasn't allowed to visit him at all in there. Was the 3rd day before she got to hold him again, and then at that point I wasn't allowed to see either of them until they left the hospital the day after that. Horrendous for her and still makes her well up a bit when the topic comes up.

Wee man is now 18 months old. A bit on the short side but everything else is good. Finally started sleeping through in his own bed and not constantly waking up at 2 or 3am as he was doing most nights until now. Sods law has it that we have finally bought a house(mortgage approval pending) so will probably be moving in the next 6 to 8 weeks. No doubt that will unsettle him a bit and bugger up this new found rhythem he has developed!

Edited October 5, 2021 by Ross.

[Brummie Clyde]

When our daughter was born, I was allowed in for the labour and birth.

After a few hours I had to go home. Mum and daughter stayed in for a few days and I was only allowed to drop things off for them.

[johnnydun]

6 hours ago, Ross. said:

Congratulations on the birth and I hope they are all well?

Was anyone allowed to visit during the 10 days or was it mother and child only? My boy was born as the whole covid shebang kicked off, spent his first night in intensive care due to a slight breathing issue, and as my missus had developed a fever during the labour she wasn't allowed to visit him at all in there. Was the 3rd day before she got to hold him again, and then at that point I wasn't allowed to see either of them until they left the hospital the day after that. Horrendous for her and still makes her well up a bit when the topic comes up.

Wee man is now 18 months old. A bit on the short side but everything else is good. Finally started sleeping through in his own bed and not constantly waking up at 2 or 3am as he was doing most nights until now. Sods law has it that we have finally bought a house(mortgage approval pending) so will probably be moving in the next 6 to 8 weeks. No doubt that will unsettle him a bit and bugger up this new found rhythem he has developed!

Thanks Ross, yeah all well bud.

She managed to keep him in a wee bit longer so my son was out of isolation and was at the birth.

It does sound like a terrible experience for new mums at the moment, at least long term it's all worked out well. 

[scottsdad]

My step daughter is 25. I have raised her since she was 5 and she has always known that I am her step father. She has never had contact with her biological dad - she reached out via Facebook once years ago and he just blocked her. Yesterday she contacted the wife via text:

"What height are you and dad?"

"I'm 5 foot 6, dad is 6 foot 4."

"Then how come I am so short?"

a pause of about half an hour as my wife is gutting herself laughing, before receiving...

"Oh right, figured it out. Never mind."

[Raidernation]

Fantastic wonderful news today, stepdaughter no.2 is pregnant so I’ll be a Papa agin sometime in May

[Andy Dufresne]

On 06/10/2021 at 14:02, scottsdad said:

My step daughter is 25. I have raised her since she was 5 and she has always known that I am her step father. She has never had contact with her biological dad - she reached out via Facebook once years ago and he just blocked her. Yesterday she contacted the wife via text:

"What height are you and dad?"

"I'm 5 foot 6, dad is 6 foot 4."

"Then how come I am so short?"

a pause of about half an hour as my wife is gutting herself laughing, before receiving...

"Oh right, figured it out. Never mind."

Ben will never know his father,we contacted him a few years back saying we did not want money only for him to involved in his life,He said no so that is his loss.

[ICTChris]

I can’t imagine not wanting to be involved with my child at all. I know a few people that it’s happened to though, it can’t be that unusual.

[The_Kincardine]

24 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I can’t imagine not wanting to be involved with my child at all. I know a few people that it’s happened to though, it can’t be that unusual.

Same - but then you have good people like @keithgy, @scottsdad, @Jacksgranda and others making step-children and grandchildren their own and marking the card for decent humanity

[Jacksgranda]

[scottsdad]

13 hours ago, ICTChris said:

I can’t imagine not wanting to be involved with my child at all. I know a few people that it’s happened to though, it can’t be that unusual.

This brings me to my father-in-law. 

He split from my mother-in-law after ~20 years of marriage and moved in with his ex-wife's best friend. Of his 4 kids, his youngest daughter (who was 16) said some pretty heated things about him and his now woman, and he hasn't spoken to her since (this was 25 years ago). She has reached out since and it has always been rebuffed. 

His second youngest daughter stayed with her mum, and so he hasn't spoken to her since either. The kids all blamed his new wife but really, he is a man with his own mind. 

His son moved to England years ago and they talk on the phone once or twice a year. 

10 years ago we had my daughter's naming ceremony. He and his wife were sat at one table, and across the room were his kids and grandkids and he utterly ignored them. My mum looked at them and thought it was the strangest thing she had ever seen - a man doing his best not to make eye contact with his own grandkids who were playing. 

My wife was the only one who stayed in touch with him. It wasn't easy - his new wife is evil. But we did our best to get along. They would visit us on Mondays at 3pm. In 2018 my wife got a new job and said that she couldn't make Mondays as she was working then and suggested other times. Her dad's wife said no to that - Saturday is when they go shopping and their schedule cannot be changed (neither of them work). Suddenly the phone calls and texts went unanswered. She hasn't seen her dad since. 

It upset her that first Christmas, very deeply. I think she is kind of over it now. 

[ICTChris]

Yeah, my wife doesn't speak to her father for a number of reasons.  Their relationship has ebbed and flowed over the years but various events have killed it in the last year or so.  We had a family occasion where he didn't speak to us recently, bizarre is the right word.  The whole fallout has been initiated from his side and on pretences so flimsy that you can't even explain them.  

[Raidernation]

Of my 3 stepdaughters only one has regular contact with her father. She can only stand spending short periods of time with him (basically he’s a dick! Think loud, ignorant American tourist) but she does keep in contact regularly and there is a relationship.

One has no contact ever with her father.

Other one talkers to her dad occasionally but, if asked, would say I’m much more of a father/grandfather.

C’est la vie

[Dons_1988]

My wee one is doing well but had some feeding issues again of late with her formula.

She had a tummy bug about 10 days ago and whilst she has got through that, she seems to have lost interest in formula and is having much less than she was pre illness. She is happy and healthy, not dehydrated or anything bad but it can’t continue like this forever. 

We’ve tried spacing out her feeds etc but nothing seems to make any difference. The health visitor insists she’s fine but my mrs isn’t having it. She can’t accept the idea that it’s ok for her to go several days with less than she needs.

If anything I’m more worried about my wife, she’s absolutely beside herself thinking we can’t feed the baby again (see breastfeeding issues from several pages back) and she’s totally miserable. I think she has a form of post natal depression but she won’t really listen, particularly now as she thinks any suggestion of it is dismissing her worries about our daughter. 

At a bit of a loss as to what to do to be honest.  

[scottsdad]

7 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

My wee one is doing well but had some feeding issues again of late with her formula.

She had a tummy bug about 10 days ago and whilst she has got through that, she seems to have lost interest in formula and is having much less than she was pre illness. She is happy and healthy, not dehydrated or anything bad but it can’t continue like this forever. 

We’ve tried spacing out her feeds etc but nothing seems to make any difference. The health visitor insists she’s fine but my mrs isn’t having it. She can’t accept the idea that it’s ok for her to go several days with less than she needs.

If anything I’m more worried about my wife, she’s absolutely beside herself thinking we can’t feed the baby again (see breastfeeding issues from several pages back) and she’s totally miserable. I think she has a form of post natal depression but she won’t really listen, particularly now as she thinks any suggestion of it is dismissing her worries about our daughter. 

At a bit of a loss as to what to do to be honest.  

On the feeding, post-bug and post-virus the key thing is hydration. Think back to the last time you had the flu - hardly ate and your appetite probably took a while to fully return. The health visitor is right here - feed her what she can take and don't worry about her for now. Just make sure she takes some milk/juice. 

Kiddies are resilient. In a week she'll get her appetite back with interest and you'll be struggling to keep up.

[Dons_1988]

Just now, scottsdad said:

On the feeding, post-bug and post-virus the key thing is hydration. Think back to the last time you had the flu - hardly ate and your appetite probably took a while to fully return. The health visitor is right here - feed her what she can take and don't worry about her for now. Just make sure she takes some milk/juice. 

Kiddies are resilient. In a week she'll get her appetite back with interest and you'll be struggling to keep up.

Thanks, I fully agree that will be the case (other than maybe a nagging doubt due to inexperience) but the wife just won’t have it. 

[RH33]

32 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Thanks, I fully agree that will be the case (other than maybe a nagging doubt due to inexperience) but the wife just won’t have it.

44 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

My wee one is doing well but had some feeding issues again of late with her formula.

She had a tummy bug about 10 days ago and whilst she has got through that, she seems to have lost interest in formula and is having much less than she was pre illness. She is happy and healthy, not dehydrated or anything bad but it can’t continue like this forever. 

We’ve tried spacing out her feeds etc but nothing seems to make any difference. The health visitor insists she’s fine but my mrs isn’t having it. She can’t accept the idea that it’s ok for her to go several days with less than she needs.

If anything I’m more worried about my wife, she’s absolutely beside herself thinking we can’t feed the baby again (see breastfeeding issues from several pages back) and she’s totally miserable. I think she has a form of post natal depression but she won’t really listen, particularly now as she thinks any suggestion of it is dismissing her worries about our daughter. 

At a bit of a loss as to what to do to be honest.  

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she's struggling as the whole feeding thing is a nightmare. Health visitors have a nack of making you feel shite. Eventually, with my third, I refused to even go to their vaccine clinics and the practice nurse did them.

All you can do is support and reassure her until she regains her confidence. I wouldn't even give your opinion at moment as hard as that may be. Nodding donkey for now!

[Dons_1988]

35 minutes ago, RH33 said:

I wouldn't be surprised if she's struggling as the whole feeding thing is a nightmare. Health visitors have a nack of making you feel shite. Eventually, with my third, I refused to even go to their vaccine clinics and the practice nurse did them.

All you can do is support and reassure her until she regains her confidence. I wouldn't even give your opinion at moment as hard as that may be. Nodding donkey for now!

Aye the health visitor was friendly but did give off a very ‘you’re just a mental new mum’ vibe in what she was saying. 

I am being as supportive as I possibly can, the whole thing is taking it’s toll on her. Just wish I could do more.