RH33 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, Pato said: Same story here - psychological pressure that I'd say strayed into abuse to breastfeed when it was plainly not giving the wee one enough to put on weight. Just get some formula and get them fed. There's something really not right with midwifery. I started asking them how they fed their own child........they aren't allowed to 'promote' bottle feeding..... just make mums feel utterly shite at an already vulnerable time. To the point i think leads/contributes to pnd due to the guilt and anxiety. Plus the percentile charts don't help either. I never for a moment thought breast feeding wouldn't work, I thought baby would latch on and off we went. I hadn't bought bottles or steriliser while pregnant. Reality is it's really challenging and sometimes doesn't work out. Age 12, 10 and 8 you can't tell who was fed what in those first six months! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Thanks for the advice folks. There’s definitely a stigma on bottle feeding and whilst the midwives in general have been great with us they do definitely try and steer away from formula even when you are expressing concern that it’s not going particularly well. I specifically asked last week if I should buy some formula to have on hand if we feel like she’s not being fed and they said no. I think we’re going to try sticking with the breast and ‘topping up’ with formula and see how it goes but we’ve both stopped worrying about the prospect of bottle feeding as fundamentally we just want the wee one fed. The wife is going to do herself an illness with the lack of sleep and worry she’s been through trying to breastfeed round the clock so I’m relieved we’re finally addressing it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 I tried to breastfeed oldest but after a horrendous labour experience and blood loss I just didn't have the strength to do it. Second time round because he was born premature, I had to express. Fair enough I was extremely ill (didn't know at the time) but that was the most miserable I have ever been. I only continued because breast milk is best for premature babies. In the end I lasted about 3 weeks and stopped because I was about to start chemo. I used donor milk too and would recommend donor milk to any mum struggling who isn't ready to move to formula. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 My wife and I had pretty well decided before the first was born that she would be bottle fed. She tried to give the wean the first feed, immediately after she was born because apparently it has some top notch goodness in it, but that didnt happen and she had to go down to surgery, so it was formula from day 1. Second wean was C section, so again, there was no dubiety whatsoever. I have to say, there wasnt much in the way of pressure from anyone but when the subject came I, I tended to just shoot it down straight away and not let them badger my wife. I was working away over the spell we had both kids. It would have been too much to expect the wife to loom after them 24/7 when I was away and also do all the feeding when I was home too, so the decision was easy for us. Cant stress enough though, that anyone up to and including doctors can and should be told to shut the f**k up if they push it to the point of causing anxiety. Far too mucb going on at that time already without paying heed to a total strangers bizarre agenda. The mothers hormones, emotions and dignity have taken enough of a tanking over the course of a birth. Its a good time for the dad to step in IMO. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robosaintee Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Cant stress enough though, that anyone up to and including doctors can and should be told to shut the f**k up if they push it to the point of causing anxiety. Far too mucb going on at that time already without paying heed to a total strangers bizarre agenda. The mothers hormones, emotions and dignity have taken enough of a tanking over the course of a birth. Its a good time for the dad to step in IMO. Absolutely agree with this. My wife put herself under enough pressure as she wanted to breastfeed so much and was struggling, without any other people piling in. Those first few weeks are such a fucking blur anyway so any added pressure is really not welcome. Thankfully our health visitor was really nice and our wee man piled on weight early and my wife was happy to start expressing milk via pump in combination with formula which meant we could take turns and get some rest in those early days. Edited June 9, 2021 by robosaintee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Derry Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Our first born was bottle fed after my partner got sepsis during the birth and wasn't well enough to breastfeed. He's 5 1/2 and is in the 100th percentile for height for his age and is by far the smartest kid in his class. I'm teaching him to be a defender at football for Scotlands benefit in the future. So nothing wrong with bottle feeding in my experience. My second was breastfed for a year and is the cheekiest and most adventurous child that's ever roamed the planet. So either or is fine, don't worry about it too much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Mum and baby came home last night after she put on 100 grams in 24 hours so positive news. I have to say doctors and midwives were very supportive of ditching the breastfeeding if it wasn’t working. I stayed up to do two feeds last night so mrs dons_1988 got her first real sleep in 2 weeks and she’s transformed this morning. I now just need to remind her I’m not doing that every night 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said: Mum and baby came home last night after she put on 100 grams in 24 hours so positive news. I have to say doctors and midwives were very supportive of ditching the breastfeeding if it wasn’t working. I stayed up to do two feeds last night so mrs dons_1988 got her first real sleep in 2 weeks and she’s transformed this morning. I now just need to remind her I’m not doing that every night Good news! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Mum and baby came home last night after she put on 100 grams in 24 hours so positive news. I have to say doctors and midwives were very supportive of ditching the breastfeeding if it wasn’t working. I stayed up to do two feeds last night so mrs dons_1988 got her first real sleep in 2 weeks and she’s transformed this morning. I now just need to remind her I’m not doing that every night [emoji28]Outstanding. It gets easier, mate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Outstanding. It gets easier, mate. Good first half of your post, descended into a pure fabrication as it went on [emoji23] 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 10 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Good first half of your post, descended into a pure fabrication as it went on I appreciated the sentiment, but he’s a lone voice compared to anyone else I’ve spoken to! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Mum and baby came home last night after she put on 100 grams in 24 hours so positive news. I have to say doctors and midwives were very supportive of ditching the breastfeeding if it wasn’t working. I stayed up to do two feeds last night so mrs dons_1988 got her first real sleep in 2 weeks and she’s transformed this morning. I now just need to remind her I’m not doing that every night [emoji28]Both of ours were bottle fed, we took night about on feeds so at least one of us had a decent sleep each night.It does get slightly easier when you get a routine going (and the tommee tippee perfect prep machine.. I.e the god machine is at hand).My eldest is one of the youngest in his class and is tallest boy and only an inch or two shorter than tallest girl who is about 6 months older he was mid 90s centile for height. .The youngest is 99th centile for height and is getting tall fast. Looking forward to him going to preschool and seeing his height to others 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky88 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Both ours were bottlefed. I'd say myself and my partner feel as passionate about not breastfeeding (or feeling you have to) as the medical profession feels about pushing it. Partners' friend's baby was lsoing weight just after she was born because baby wasn't taking enough / any from the breast - mum was in tears/ had to take baby into hospital overnight etc. Just seems like a massive hassle when there's plenty of other hassles with regards to a new baby. And I don't believe it makes a difference long term in any case. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 16 minutes ago, weirdcal said: Both of ours were bottle fed, we took night about on feeds so at least one of us had a decent sleep each night. It does get slightly easier when you get a routine going (and the tommee tippee perfect prep machine.. I.e the god machine is at hand). My eldest is one of the youngest in his class and is tallest boy and only an inch or two shorter than tallest girl who is about 6 months older he was mid 90s centile for height. . The youngest is 99th centile for height and is getting tall fast. Looking forward to him going to preschool and seeing his height to others The tommee tippee machine is indeed brilliant! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 Good first half of your post, descended into a pure fabrication as it went on [emoji23][emoji1787] Both ours were bottlefed. I'd say myself and my partner feel as passionate about not breastfeeding (or feeling you have to) as the medical profession feels about pushing it. Partners' friend's baby was lsoing weight just after she was born because baby wasn't taking enough / any from the breast - mum was in tears/ had to take baby into hospital overnight etc. Just seems like a massive hassle when there's plenty of other hassles with regards to a new baby. And I don't believe it makes a difference long term in any case.That's a pretty bold statement.We ended up bottle feeding both of ours but breast feeding has been scientifically proven to be beneficial, which is why it's pushed by the medical community. Young parents should always feel supported and never pressed to breast feed when things are becoming difficult - but there are clear reasons why it's the preferable option. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 New mothers should absolutely be encouraged and supported in breastfeeding, but they should never feel forced. My wife breastfed each of our 3 until they were at least 6 months, but it was a real struggle for her at different points. I would have been happy if she'd not wanted to continue when it felt impossible. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Breastfeeding is obviously preferable but I just think there’s too much stigma around formula. What I hadn’t anticipated (which feels really stupid now) was the mental toll it takes on a woman when baby is relying on their body to produce milk to survive and it doesn’t quite happen. A monumental level of stress and pressure to put on an individual. The fundamental message should make it clear as day that most important thing is the baby gets fed, breast or bottle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Due to self isolation of her class, iv spent some one on one time with my oldest the last few days. Its been so good during the day. Shes growing up so fast, learning so fast. Being with her is like having a wee pal. Then her sister comes comes home from nursery and they both resume being wee arseholes [emoji19] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Mine were bottle fed. We were able to split the feeds, keep bottles in the fridge, all that convenience. My son is now 6 foot 2, about 14 stone (at the age of 16). I don't think the bottle stunted his growth. Agree with all the comments here about bottle feeding. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 2 hours ago, Pato said: Currently cleaning piss off all of our DVDs how's your evening going Well my wife says i watch some shite 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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