The_Kincardine Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Rowan said: I'm hard on my three, boundaries and expectations. Good post, Rowan and I was the same. As teens? You can't micro-manage them, though I'm at odds with their maw on this point. My take is that you give them a framework as wee weans then enjoy how they develop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 I was simply teasing. Really enjoyable discussion btw. What age is your auld man? Hes 54. Not that auld mind you but auld enough.Gathered you were but the sensible side of me wants to make sure there isnt any ambiguity on what I mean and how it reads 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 3 minutes ago, weirdcal said: Hes 54. Not that auld mind you but auld enough. Three years younger than me. Bet he's a blue-nose 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Three years younger than me. Bet he's a blue-nose Inverness fan. Grandads a forres mechanics fan so my dad never had the big team to follow (follow) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, weirdcal said: Inverness fan. Grandads a forres mechanics fan so my dad never had the big team to follow (follow) An hour from Sneck to Forres? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 An hour from Sneck to Forres? Was living in nairn so 50/50 as it turns out 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 A mistake that some make is to regard kids as friends. I adore my three and we rub along well but they are not, in any way, my pals. This is the exact approach I hope to take with my kid(s). I'm her parent, not her pal. I don't think I've ever really thought of my mum and dad as pals and I'm glad as they are the ones I go to for advice. I wouldn't really ask a pal for advice tbh (on major decisions). I think parents are supposed to be there to guide you and put structure in place for you, not agree with you. Having said that I think weirdcal's situation is probably common and something I'd like eventually. When my kids are grown up I would like them to see me as a pal. After all the major milestones are gone and they are old enough to make their own sensible decisions (if I've done my job correctly they should be able to do that!) I'd loosen the parent strings some what, but they'll always know to come to me for advice. I say this. I'll no doubt be soft as shit with mine and drive my missus nuts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: I say this. I'll no doubt be soft as shit with mine and drive my missus nuts Another good post, buddy. My lassies certainly have me wound round their pinky. They know this as does their maw and I spend silly money taking them shopping. I think the balance, as evidenced by Rowan and Weirdcal, is being 'soft as shit' but having a strict side. With my three their maw still says some variant of, "You'd never say that to your dad" and she's right. She's definitely the better parent and I'm the nicer one...until they exceed their boundaries. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Another good post, buddy. My lassies certainly have me wound round their pinky. They know this as does their maw and I spend silly money taking them shopping. I think the balance, as evidenced by Rowan and Weirdcal, is being 'soft as shit' but having a strict side. With my three their maw still says some variant of, "You'd never say that to your dad" and she's right. She's definitely the better parent and I'm the nicer one...until they exceed their boundaries. I think that's how it is in most families. I would brush off a telling off from my mum as a kid, but if it came from Dad I knew I was in trouble. My wife says exactly the same of her childhood. I think I'm the same, my wife tells them off more frequently, I'd maybe let them away with a bit more of the minor stuff, so hopefully they know that if i'm telling them off then we really mean it. I'm in agreement on the parent/friend discussion that came earlier. I'm close with my parents, but I wouldn't say they are my friends. I go to them for advice, for help when I need it. A friend is something totally different. I hope I have the same relationship with my kids when they are grown up as I do with my parents now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) 11 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said: I think I'm the same, my wife tells them off more frequently, I'd maybe let them away with a bit more of the minor stuff, so hopefully they know that if i'm telling them off then we really mean it. This is the 'dad' thing I think. They can soak me when I took them for a bath but stopped when I called them to do so. Have you girls? If so, do you treat them differently to sons? I have both and definitely have a different relationship to my son compared to my daughters. Edited February 12, 2017 by The_Kincardine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Feels a bit insensitive posting it straight after my above post but less insensitive had I put it in the same post I think. Came in to see my missus had inadvertently dressed Aila as a fecking Minion:- Brilliant! [emoji1]She's a wee cracker! [emoji106] Wee one in his favourite place in the world.Anyone elses kids addicted to baths? Aye. Even more so since I parted with £2k to get a comb-boiler put in so there's no longer any "just have a shower mum wants the hot water for a bath" scenarios. I don't mind when the bairn wants a bath instead of a shower though. Gives me plenty opportunities to give my wee lass a bubble-bath beard and hair. Pretty much mastered the Ronnie Browne look. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 This is the 'dad' thing I think. They can soak me when I took them for a bath but stopped when I called them to do so. Have you girls? If so, do you treat them differently to sons? I have both and definitely have a different relationship to my son compared to my daughters. I have a boy (6) and a girl (3). At the moment it's the same with both of them, but I expect that will be different in 10 years time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmothecat Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 My wife banned me from getting my daughter a Dons top, but apparently a Scotland rugby top is perfectly acceptable. This is what happens when you marry someone from the borders I guess. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I had such a lax upbringing, from both parents, which I think has rubbed off onto me and I will be exactly the same. I am far too chilled a person to be disciplining etc. My mum is also my best friend, speak to her everyday and can tell her anything. I really hope Catherine has the same relationship with me when she is older. Jmo, Saints don't do baby strips, this will have to do in the meantime... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Firm but fair approach from me and the missus, with plenty of love thrown in when we do have to be firm. Parents who 'give in' to whatever it is are just asking for trouble later on. I see kids at school who have clearly learned that nagging works. They keep pestering, in the expectation I'll give in. I take great pleasure in informing them that their nagging is only strengthening my resolve. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 3 hours ago, pandarilla said: Firm but fair approach from me and the missus, with plenty of love thrown in when we do have to be firm. Parents who 'give in' to whatever it is are just asking for trouble later on. I see kids at school who have clearly learned that nagging works. They keep pestering, in the expectation I'll give in. I take great pleasure in informing them that their nagging is only strengthening my resolve. Pandy, do you ever come out with the, "It's your own time you're wasting" classic? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Pandy, do you ever come out with the, "It's your own time you're wasting" classic? From time to time the classics get an outing. I prefer to use the slightly unhinged demeanor that makes everyone feel a little uncomfortable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 30 minutes ago, pandarilla said: I prefer to use the slightly unhinged demeanor that makes everyone feel a little uncomfortable. Just like you do on here 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Who's the Daddy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 The missus has her second scan tomorrow, due start of July. Last scan they said she had low lying placentay. For a month now she has had a cold and chest infection. Hopefully things are going to be OK. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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