Pregnancy And Parenting

[Richey Edwards]

3 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

Cheers man. Yeah, the school seems to be a bit of a lawless wasteland in general. We have offered to move him schools, but he’s said no. Don’t want to get to a stage where the police are involved, that’s why we wanted to speak the parents. Had problems with my older son in the first few years at school and we managed to resolve it by speaking to parents. Poor boy is just really annoyed with it all.
My initial over the top, old school reaction is to want to message them myself, but that won’t do anyone any good. I’m just exasperated and feel even a little guilty breaking up the stream of braw pictures on here to vent, but i needed somewhere to do it. What happened to being 13 and your only goal in life was to try and get yerself a girlfriend/boyfriend. Never understood teenagers when i was one, still don’t 27 years later.
When you have teenagers, then see the last few photos on this thread, you sometimes forget they were that cute and adorable once. 

I don't have children myself but I saw your post in the "latest posts" part of the main page and couldn't ignore it. It's absolute shitebag behaviour from the school tbh. They could easily do something about this but are choosing not to.

I know he doesn't want you to go and speak to the parent that you know, but if you have done that before for your other son then that might be worth a try again if you can persuade him that it could be a helpful thing to do. Especially if you don't want to get the police involved.

The thing about bullies is that they usually shite themselves at the first sign of the consequences of their actions.

[die hard doonhamer]

As Richey says, that’s shitebag stuff from the school. Schools should absolutely be dealing with stuff like that. I would suggest (presuming it’s a state school) maybe going to your council’s education department and telling them that the school are refusing to engage, it’s amazing how that can motivate them to actually step in. 

[buchan30]

You are right about the bullies. Cheers man, don’t matter that you don’t have kids, it’s been good just to have a different voice/perspective on it. Appreciate it mate. 

[FK1Bairn]

I dont get how the school can say its not a school issue. If it wasn't for school, the messages wouldn't be happening even if they are taking place outside school hours. 

I'd suggest going down the police route if you don't get any joy with school or parents, shows you're not willing to stand by and just let it happen

[TxRover]

The school being unwilling to even respond as far as a general message to all parents advising that complaints have been received and will be forwarded to police for action should this behavior continue is disheartening.

Here’s a potentially useful little item listing some of the possible courses of action:

https://young.scot/get-informed/what-can-i-do-if-im-being-bullied-online/

Here’s a similar list:

“There is no legal definition of cyberbullying in U.K. law. However there are a number of existing laws that can be applied to cases of cyberbullying and online harassment.

Protection from Harassment Act 1997

Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994

Malicious Communications Act 1988

Communications Act 2003

Breach of the Peace (Scotland)

Defamation Act 2013

The Defamation Act 2013 came into effect on January 1st 2014. Read the Act in full to learn what is included and excluded from the legislation.”

[jimbaxters]

11 hours ago, buchan30 said:

Cheers man. Yeah, the school seems to be a bit of a lawless wasteland in general. We have offered to move him schools, but he’s said no. Don’t want to get to a stage where the police are involved, that’s why we wanted to speak the parents. Had problems with my older son in the first few years at school and we managed to resolve it by speaking to parents. Poor boy is just really annoyed with it all.
My initial over the top, old school reaction is to want to message them myself, but that won’t do anyone any good. I’m just exasperated and feel even a little guilty breaking up the stream of braw pictures on here to vent, but i needed somewhere to do it. What happened to being 13 and your only goal in life was to try and get yerself a girlfriend/boyfriend. Never understood teenagers when i was one, still don’t 27 years later.
When you have teenagers, then see the last few photos on this thread, you sometimes forget they were that cute and adorable once. 

Sorry to hear about this pal. Horrible to see your kids go through stuff like this. As a teacher, there are two things I would say here. Firstly, the school absolutely should get involved and, in my experience, it can definitely make a difference. It takes a delicate approach but speaking to everyone individually and then, hopefully, getting them altogether and talking it through, works. Secondly, I hear what you're saying about teenagers but working with them, I see regularly how awkward a time it is for them. The teenage brain is a complicated place and just like adults, everyone copes with things in different ways and to different degrees. Understanding them is difficult but then we're all a bit complicated really. Guess what I mean is that there will usually be a reason this happening,

However, your boy is the one who is being affected here so you should take whatever route needs taking to get him some help. The school are being lazy and dismissive of a situation which they should be well equipped to deal with. Hope you get it sorted man.

[buchan30]

Cheers. Teachers do a great job and i imagine that it will be different to teach this generation with phones etc. 

Part of me thinks that they are doing it because they are bored or just folk in general that like drama and a fight. They chose Tuesday, a day when the schools were off and made worse by the fact me and mrs b were away for the night. We had agreed last night that, we would see how today went and if it wasn’t any better, we would start by going to one of the parents. Been a nightmare to get him out to school this morning, so we will see how that goes. 

Edited March 2, 2023 by buchan30

[scottsdad]

@buchan30 - my niece had this very issue about 5 years ago when she was still at school. It was awful, I don't think folk realise how destructive the relentless nature of online bullying is.

With old style school bullies, at least kids got away from them when they came home. Now it is day and night.

My sister-in-law tried everything, including confiscating my niece's phone in the evenings. None of that worked. For months it was harrowing. In the end, if I remember correctly, she managed to find out the address of one of them and went round to speak to the parents, armed with the messages. It died down after that.

[Jimmy Shaker]

Eighteen weeks old. Still happy. Not showing much enthusiasm for rolling onto his front but is very vocal, and had a taste of papaya this morning and seemed happy with it. Getting weighed in half an hour, am guessing he’ll be up another weight class. Unit. 

He’s down for swimming lessons but the two scheduled so far have been cancelled so took him in myself and he seemed happy with that too. Or, at least, he didn’t seem unhappy with it  

Edited March 2, 2023 by Jimmy Shaker

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

Eighteen weeks old. Still happy. Not showing much enthusiasm for rolling onto his front but is very vocal, and had a taste of papaya this morning and seemed happy with it. Getting weighed in half an hour, am guessing he’ll be up another weight class. Unit. 

He’s down for swimming lessons but the two scheduled so far have been cancelled so took him in myself and he seemed happy with that too. Or, at least, he didn’t seem unhappy with it  

 

Sometimes that is as good as it gets, James.

[carpetmonster]

1 hour ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

Eighteen weeks old. Still happy. Not showing much enthusiasm for rolling onto his front but is very vocal, and had a taste of papaya this morning and seemed happy with it. Getting weighed in half an hour, am guessing he’ll be up another weight class. Unit. 

He’s down for swimming lessons but the two scheduled so far have been cancelled so took him in myself and he seemed happy with that too. Or, at least, he didn’t seem unhappy with it  

These worked great for us when #1 was teething - it’s a wee net that you put bits of softer fruit in - mango, papaya, banana, that sort of stuff - but if you shove in a frozen bit instead it’ll soothe the gums while he’s sucking and gnawing at it - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/266316248

[thistledo]

On 01/03/2023 at 19:23, buchan30 said:

Has anyone had problems with sort of cyber bullying? My son has been getting shit from folk online, accusing him of stuff that he hasn’t done. Threatening him etc, I don’t know where they live, otherwise i would just be straight to the doors and talking to the parents. They seem to be little keyboard warriors, but as far as we know saying nothing at school. Using snapchat to say stuff, then it all disappears because of how the app works. 
He doesn’t want us to go to the one parent that we do know, because he fears the repercussions. 
It’s just fucking shite. Feels like there is no resolution. It seems to be girls as well. Which makes it harder to deal with. The school won’t deal with it because “it’s not a school issue”

 

That sounds awful mate, really shitty thing to have to go through when life is hard enough as it is. I hope it gets sorted out soon, the temptation to grab the phone and start going tonto would probs be to much for me and I'd be down threatening dad's at the school or where they live and being a general absolute "Da" about it. 

What I would say is, start reporting absolutely every bit of bullying or abuse through the apps, if it's snapchat you can actually just press and hold to report the message. Due to the amount of misuse of the app they usually have to act quite strictly which should result in a lot of banned accounts. 

[buchan30]

Didn’t know you could do that with snapchat, but will keep it in mind for the future. (Hopefully won’t come to that)

 

Thanks for all the advice. I spoke with one of the parents of the boys and she has asked him to speak to the others in the group. She says that group in general causes a lot of drama, so I don’t know if they have been targeting folk and my son was the latest target. Hopefully by her going a little bit tonto, they may realise that this shit isn’t on and that will be the end of it. 

[FK1Bairn]

Anybody know how to deal with what seems to be a case of separation anxiety?

My son is 7 and he's never been any bother going somewhere and being left by his mum or I (playgroup, nursery, school, football and even overnight stays at his maternal grandparents/aunts house) but a few weeks ago he had an overnight stay at his maternal grandparents house where he got upset that neither his mum or I were there with him. 

We initially put that down to tiredness but we've now also had tears last saturday morning when we put him into his football class and then tears two mornings this week when going into school. 

The only things I can think of is his routine is out of sync with the teacher strikes and his maternal grandparents selling their house. He tells us everything is OK at school so there's no issues there that we know about

[thistledo]

The missus is getting induced on Saturday, this is our second and my anxiety over the situation is wild just now. The the first one, the labour and birthing took about 3 days, eventually a forceps delivery, then her and the wee one spent 5 days in hospital on sepsis pathway. The first time I was just tired and it was a bit of a rollercoaster so I didn't feel too worried about it. This time I feel so much more aware and have a greater understanding of it all, so subsequently feel really worried for the missus and unborn child. I can't tell her that though as I don't want her to worry, so I'm just putting a brave face on it and telling her "aye it'll be grand this time" when under the surface I am shitting it.  

Anyone else get this? Any suggestions or positive stories greatly appreciated. 

[mathematics]

2 hours ago, thistledo said:

The missus is getting induced on Saturday, this is our second and my anxiety over the situation is wild just now. The the first one, the labour and birthing took about 3 days, eventually a forceps delivery, then her and the wee one spent 5 days in hospital on sepsis pathway. The first time I was just tired and it was a bit of a rollercoaster so I didn't feel too worried about it. This time I feel so much more aware and have a greater understanding of it all, so subsequently feel really worried for the missus and unborn child. I can't tell her that though as I don't want her to worry, so I'm just putting a brave face on it and telling her "aye it'll be grand this time" when under the surface I am shitting it.  

Anyone else get this? Any suggestions or positive stories greatly appreciated. 

I’m sure #2 will be much much easier!

[jimbaxters]

2 hours ago, thistledo said:

The missus is getting induced on Saturday, this is our second and my anxiety over the situation is wild just now. The the first one, the labour and birthing took about 3 days, eventually a forceps delivery, then her and the wee one spent 5 days in hospital on sepsis pathway. The first time I was just tired and it was a bit of a rollercoaster so I didn't feel too worried about it. This time I feel so much more aware and have a greater understanding of it all, so subsequently feel really worried for the missus and unborn child. I can't tell her that though as I don't want her to worry, so I'm just putting a brave face on it and telling her "aye it'll be grand this time" when under the surface I am shitting it.  

Anyone else get this? Any suggestions or positive stories greatly appreciated. 

 

1 minute ago, mathematics said:

I’m sure #2 will be much much easier!

Was going to say the same thing. With our three the delivery got easier each time. Our first was induced and Mrs JB needed an epidural, second was also induced but once the crochet needle did it's job, things moved quickly. By our third it was almost a case of having to keep her tights on until we got to the hospital. 

Having said that, we didn't have the complications you described with the first but it should be easier this time. Try to spend this week looking forward to seeing the wee one. It's worrying but women are incredibly strong and get through these things so well. All the very best, pal. Excited for you tbh.

[thistledo]

1 hour ago, mathematics said:

I’m sure #2 will be much much easier!

I hope so, thanks! 

1 hour ago, jimbaxters said:

 

Was going to say the same thing. With our three the delivery got easier each time. Our first was induced and Mrs JB needed an epidural, second was also induced but once the crochet needle did it's job, things moved quickly. By our third it was almost a case of having to keep her tights on until we got to the hospital. 

Having said that, we didn't have the complications you described with the first but it should be easier this time. Try to spend this week looking forward to seeing the wee one. It's worrying but women are incredibly strong and get through these things so well. All the very best, pal. Excited for you tbh.

Thanks JB, appreciate the encouraging words and positivity! Almost everyone I know has said the next one is easier, so that's encouraging as well and really hope it goes that way. 

[carpetmonster]

4 hours ago, thistledo said:

The missus is getting induced on Saturday, this is our second and my anxiety over the situation is wild just now. The the first one, the labour and birthing took about 3 days, eventually a forceps delivery, then her and the wee one spent 5 days in hospital on sepsis pathway. The first time I was just tired and it was a bit of a rollercoaster so I didn't feel too worried about it. This time I feel so much more aware and have a greater understanding of it all, so subsequently feel really worried for the missus and unborn child. I can't tell her that though as I don't want her to worry, so I'm just putting a brave face on it and telling her "aye it'll be grand this time" when under the surface I am shitting it.  

Anyone else get this? Any suggestions or positive stories greatly appreciated. 

Both ours were induced and the first was an ordeal - it became very clear early on that the doctor hadn’t bothered his arse reading the birthing plan he’d asked us to do and just wanted to cut the Mrs, because we’re in the US, and more procedures means there’s more they can bill you for. We found out later that the c-section rate in Miami for all live births is 65% which is mindblowing. If we hadn’t had a doula, I’m convinced to this day #1 would have been a c-section my wife didn’t want or need. Also to this day I really hope I don’t run into that doctor again because I will at the very least verbally assault him. 
 

Number 2 actually took longer but the hospital staff were all magnificent - midwife unit rather than doctors and it was night and day. Mrs did the whole thing naturally; no epidural and gas and air isn’t common in the US. I would never spill my Mrs’ pint. Everyone from friends to medics told us the second one is quicker, but he took a wee bit longer - what eventually transpired was the water bag was right above his head so when he was trying to get down into position it was hitting her pelvic bones and stopping him. Waters broken, he appeared 4 and a half hours later. 
 

I was the same as you, apprehensive, and gearing up to have to fight the medics given the experience of our first time. Couldn’t have been further from what happened. 
 

Here’s the two of them

 

 

[scottsdad]

Scott was 11 days late. My wife was due to go to the hospital at 9am to get induced. Went to bed the night before, alarm all set and so on. In bed 10 minutes and her waters broke. He was born about 4 and a half hours later.