Pregnancy And Parenting

[RH33]

Careful with the scales, could become an obsession and it only takes a giant shite to knock them down a few ounces.

[scottsdad]

Just now, Dons_1988 said:

Thanks for that. The feeding is still up and down. Friday she had all her bottles, Saturday was terrible and yesterday she had them all again. I really don’t think it’s a big deal now, we bought our own baby scales so we can stay on top of her weight and if she’s losing any we can take action. co lactase looks interesting, might mention to the HV and see what she thinks. I’m still hopeful she’s going to just start taking her milk regularly again. 

The wife is a bit better, Saturday was horrendous but she’s steadied herself. She has the support group tonight which she’s nervous about, think she feels like it’s a bit of a failing to be there. 

I’m just glad she recognises there’s an issue and taking action. It would be far more bleak for me if she refused any help but as long she’s trying I’m all good with it. 

 

Every new parent needs help. Whether it is from a HV, a parent, a support group, a Facebook group, P&B, whatever. No new parent does it on their own and there is absolutely no shame at all in asking for help and advice. 

The thing is, if a new parent asks for help I cannot think of anyone who would judge them other than positively for seeking help/advice. Better than suffering in silence. 

[scottsdad]

2 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Careful with the scales, could become an obsession and it only takes a giant shite to knock them down a few ounces.

Like baby monitors. Best thing I ever did was bin them - sitting at night staring at the wee lights, jumping out of our skins over every wee cough or sigh. 

[Dons_1988]

Update - wee one has just drained another bottle. Champion. 

[Dons_1988]

3 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Careful with the scales, could become an obsession and it only takes a giant shite to knock them down a few ounces.

Aye agreed it’s a risk but tbh the wife has become obsessed with each individual feed which is becoming unbearable for her so I’m trying to shift that back a step so she focuses on her general health and if she’s gaining weight rather than counting millilitres. 

[RH33]

57 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Like baby monitors. Best thing I ever did was bin them - sitting at night staring at the wee lights, jumping out of our skins over every wee cough or sigh. 

I never had baby monitors. 

 

As an aside the same midwives who but pressure on me first two times, told me not to even try with my third. Also if you ask them how they fed their own kids, you get an insight into their non NHS veiw.

Edited October 18, 2021 by RH33

[Adam]

Fully expecting to be shot down here, but as a divorced father who has his kids one week out of two, and has been the case for five years now, I genuinely wonder how I was ever able to have them with me, all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than life, but when it gets to the day before the changeover I almost breathe a sigh of relief, it’s like a tornado has hit the house when they’re here. They’re 12 (nearly 13) and 10, and they just bicker and argue almost constantly. I’ve tried to do different things with each of them, my youngest has taken a keen liking to football lately, so been taking him to Clyde games whenever he’s here, and my gf has been making sure my eldest hasn’t been feeling left out, doing baking, or trips to Costco or a walk in the park when we’re there, but as soon as they’re together they just pull the house down.

Hasn’t really helped that my eldest son (ASD) had a pretty terrible start to the week at school, having to collect him at lunch because of how disruptive he had been.

Not really asking or requiring advice, just looking to vent, and say, fair fucking play to all that have their kids 100% of the time.

[Jacksgranda]

53 minutes ago, Adam said:

Fully expecting to be shot down here, but as a divorced father who has his kids one week out of two, and has been the case for five years now, I genuinely wonder how I was ever able to have them with me, all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than life, but when it gets to the day before the changeover I almost breathe a sigh of relief, it’s like a tornado has hit the house when they’re here. They’re 12 (nearly 13) and 10, and they just bicker and argue almost constantly. I’ve tried to do different things with each of them, my youngest has taken a keen liking to football lately, so been taking him to Clyde games whenever he’s here, and my gf has been making sure my eldest hasn’t been feeling left out, doing baking, or trips to Costco or a walk in the park when we’re there, but as soon as they’re together they just pull the house down.

Hasn’t really helped that my eldest son (ASD) had a pretty terrible start to the week at school, having to collect him at lunch because of how disruptive he had been.

Not really asking or requiring advice, just looking to vent, and say, fair fucking play to all that have their kids 100% of the time.

That's your big mistake there...

I certainly breathe a sigh of relief whenever our babysits end, tbh.

[heedthebaa]

1 hour ago, Adam said:

Fully expecting to be shot down here, but as a divorced father who has his kids one week out of two, and has been the case for five years now, I genuinely wonder how I was ever able to have them with me, all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than life, but when it gets to the day before the changeover I almost breathe a sigh of relief, it’s like a tornado has hit the house when they’re here. They’re 12 (nearly 13) and 10, and they just bicker and argue almost constantly. I’ve tried to do different things with each of them, my youngest has taken a keen liking to football lately, so been taking him to Clyde games whenever he’s here, and my gf has been making sure my eldest hasn’t been feeling left out, doing baking, or trips to Costco or a walk in the park when we’re there, but as soon as they’re together they just pull the house down.

Hasn’t really helped that my eldest son (ASD) had a pretty terrible start to the week at school, having to collect him at lunch because of how disruptive he had been.

Not really asking or requiring advice, just looking to vent, and say, fair fucking play to all that have their kids 100% of the time.

The day my two fucked off out the house were glorious days. Not too far away, I couldn’t have that, but far enough. They did nowt but argue and when I tried to intervene, both ganged up on me and ripped me, they still do and they’re in their 30s now. Grandparents, that’s the best job

[Dons_1988]

Don’t think that’s abnormal. 

As mentioned before I’m absolutely loving being a dad but only 5 months in I’d absolutely love a weekend free to have an away day and a few beers or whatever. 

It’s all consuming and everyone needs a break. 

[thistledo]

Don't know how single parents do it tbh, wouldn't even be able to even go for a shite in peace without the other half being around to look after the wee yin at that point. 

[Dons_1988]

Another tedious update from me. 

Another mixed week of feeding with some bottles downed without an issue and others her barely interested in. 

Another week where my wife is utterly convinced something is badly wrong and I am far more concerned about her mental health than the wee one. 

We’ve now had the health visitor, a GP who checked her over and a family member who’s a retired paediatrician tell us that the likelihood is that everything is fine and it will pass. 

However she still puts an enormous amount of pressure on every feed and is often in floods of tears after difficult ones. She has this fatalistic idea that her development and growth is being permanently damaged by this 3 weeks. She’s also back to utterly refusing the idea there’s anything wrong with her and she’s just a worried mum. I feel like I can’t push that too far as she perceives it as me dismissing her concerns about the little one. but this feeding issue is just the latest in a line of things in 5 months that make me think she’s in a bad place mentally. 

She insists she’ll be fine once the feeding is ok but I don’t see it, another issue will come up and it’ll derail her again. 

I probably should be putting this in the depression thread in all honesty. Sorry for spamming but I don’t really know what to do other than just endure it and support. 

[Jacksgranda]

6 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Another tedious update from me. 

Another mixed week of feeding with some bottles downed without an issue and others her barely interested in. 

Another week where my wife is utterly convinced something is badly wrong and I am far more concerned about her mental health than the wee one. 

We’ve now had the health visitor, a GP who checked her over and a family member who’s a retired paediatrician tell us that the likelihood is that everything is fine and it will pass. 

However she still puts an enormous amount of pressure on every feed and is often in floods of tears after difficult ones. She has this fatalistic idea that her development and growth is being permanently damaged by this 3 weeks. She’s also back to utterly refusing the idea there’s anything wrong with her and she’s just a worried mum. I feel like I can’t push that too far as she perceives it as me dismissing her concerns about the little one. but this feeding issue is just the latest in a line of things in 5 months that make me think she’s in a bad place mentally. 

She insists she’ll be fine once the feeding is ok but I don’t see it, another issue will come up and it’ll derail her again. 

I probably should be putting this in the depression thread in all honesty. Sorry for spamming but I don’t really know what to do other than just endure it and support. 

You can put it in there, too, but it's fine here.

[Rugster]

29 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Another tedious update from me. 

Another mixed week of feeding with some bottles downed without an issue and others her barely interested in. 

Another week where my wife is utterly convinced something is badly wrong and I am far more concerned about her mental health than the wee one. 

We’ve now had the health visitor, a GP who checked her over and a family member who’s a retired paediatrician tell us that the likelihood is that everything is fine and it will pass. 

However she still puts an enormous amount of pressure on every feed and is often in floods of tears after difficult ones. She has this fatalistic idea that her development and growth is being permanently damaged by this 3 weeks. She’s also back to utterly refusing the idea there’s anything wrong with her and she’s just a worried mum. I feel like I can’t push that too far as she perceives it as me dismissing her concerns about the little one. but this feeding issue is just the latest in a line of things in 5 months that make me think she’s in a bad place mentally. 

She insists she’ll be fine once the feeding is ok but I don’t see it, another issue will come up and it’ll derail her again. 

I probably should be putting this in the depression thread in all honesty. Sorry for spamming but I don’t really know what to do other than just endure it and support. 

I can’t really offer much advice as our two were fine with feeding but one thing I will say is don’t apologise for posting it in here and you’re not spamming. Keep posting, because it will help you get it off your chest and there are a lot of good people in here who may have advice. Don’t stop posting about it mate. 

[Dons_1988]

42 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

You can put it in there, too, but it's fine here.

 

18 minutes ago, Rugster said:

I can’t really offer much advice as our two were fine with feeding but one thing I will say is don’t apologise for posting it in here and you’re not spamming. Keep posting, because it will help you get it off your chest and there are a lot of good people in here who may have advice. Don’t stop posting about it mate. 

Thanks gents 

[Bairnardo]

Youngest (4 years old) had her first shot on a train today. Its really amazing what the pandemic has snatched from the youngsters when you think of it.... When this shit kicked off she was a wee tot really.

Anyway, had a wee trip to Glasgow for our dinner. Train, Italian restaurant, bottle of wine for me and the wife, Pizza and a fucking huge dessert for the kids. Exactly the sort of day out I always envisaged that my family would enjoy. Really fucking loved it tbh. Kids sat at the window seat of the booth we were at and got waves off passers by and drivers etc. They were absolutely buzzing. All the rage they cause me on a daily basis melted away today wathcing them be absolutely buzzing about something as daft as going out for dinner.

[Busta Nut]

@Dons_1988 I can't really offer any advice either. I only hope you and your missus get the support you need. I think your venting in here is welcome as we will want to hear how your are progressing and how triumphant you feel once you are at the other side.

[RH33]

22 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Youngest (4 years old) had her first shot on a train today. Its really amazing what the pandemic has snatched from the youngsters when you think of it.... When this shit kicked off she was a wee tot really.

Anyway, had a wee trip to Glasgow for our dinner. Train, Italian restaurant, bottle of wine for me and the wife, Pizza and a fucking huge dessert for the kids. Exactly the sort of day out I always envisaged that my family would enjoy. Really fucking loved it tbh. Kids sat at the window seat of the booth we were at and got waves off passers by and drivers etc. They were absolutely buzzing. All the rage they cause me on a daily basis melted away today wathcing them be absolutely buzzing about something as daft as going out for dinner.

For the October week, i booked various things, airthrill, softplay, time capsule and we ate out most days. I only had my girls as son was away. 

Was so nice being able to get the kids out to do normal stuff again that all too soon, they'll be too old to do.

[lichtie23]

On 22/10/2021 at 09:39, Dons_1988 said:

Another tedious update from me. 

Another mixed week of feeding with some bottles downed without an issue and others her barely interested in. 

Another week where my wife is utterly convinced something is badly wrong and I am far more concerned about her mental health than the wee one. 

We’ve now had the health visitor, a GP who checked her over and a family member who’s a retired paediatrician tell us that the likelihood is that everything is fine and it will pass. 

However she still puts an enormous amount of pressure on every feed and is often in floods of tears after difficult ones. She has this fatalistic idea that her development and growth is being permanently damaged by this 3 weeks. She’s also back to utterly refusing the idea there’s anything wrong with her and she’s just a worried mum. I feel like I can’t push that too far as she perceives it as me dismissing her concerns about the little one. but this feeding issue is just the latest in a line of things in 5 months that make me think she’s in a bad place mentally. 

She insists she’ll be fine once the feeding is ok but I don’t see it, another issue will come up and it’ll derail her again. 

I probably should be putting this in the depression thread in all honesty. Sorry for spamming but I don’t really know what to do other than just endure it and support. 

Hi mate. My wife suffered pretty badly with Post Natal Depression after the birth of our wee man. If you want to chat/vent/talk football/call me c**t then just fire me a message. All you can really do is support her which at times is extremely difficult. 

[Mallo_Madrid]

The wife had the twenty week scan today. Have to say the sonographer today was absolutely brilliant, loads of detail and explained everything she was doing and measuring. At previous 20 week scans with the other kids I thought sonographer was mute until she said do you have any questions.

Anyway - another wee boy. 

That'll be me coaching the kids football teams for a little longer. Superb.