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The whole "eat what's put in front of you" is a bit silly tbh. I often adjust meals so that me and Mrs B are eating a slightly different meal to the kids but loosely based on the same. Kids cant be expected to take on adult tastes straight away and me and Mrs B cant be expected to eat kids food. Occasionally feed them then me and Mrs B eat when they go to bed but more often I choose to make dinners I think everyone will enjoy so that we can all sit together and enjoy it.

I'd rather do that than have 50% of the folk at the table choking down food they dont like on the basis of "I had to clear my plate when I were a lad". Given how much me and Mrs B enjoy food, I expect sitting round the table to be a pleasurable family thing as they get older. They wont get that notion that food is to be enjoyed if they dont get to enjoy it. All within reason of course.

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8 hours ago, pandarilla said:

There's a part of me that hopes the whole family call thid child 'allergy kid', and maybe their classmates and teachers too.

I often use the phrase 'the big one' and the 'the small one' but allergy kid is in a whole new level.

The wee one in this house is bigger than allergy kid who’s two years older!

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5 hours ago, sjc said:

Yeh, I was a bit like this as a kid too with regard to schoolwork  (the early years only.....then I just lost interest completely!)

Fingers crossed she'll outgrow it when she's ready. 

Yeh, we're certainly conscious of not making a big deal about it. Other kids at the kindergarten teasing her is outwith our control though and it's a wee bit heartbreaking when you see her becoming sensitive to it but she's a tough cookie that's come through far worse, so I'm confident she'll cope in the long run.

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. Appreciated.

The two older grandkids were fine with it all, the two younger ones we had issues with. Nico who’s two, used to walk around for hours in a state rather than go, sometimes having an accident, it will solve itself through time. They were all better with the potty than the toilet

1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

The whole "eat what's put in front of you" is a bit silly tbh. I often adjust meals so that me and Mrs B are eating a slightly different meal to the kids but loosely based on the same. Kids cant be expected to take on adult tastes straight away and me and Mrs B cant be expected to eat kids food. Occasionally feed them then me and Mrs B eat when they go to bed but more often I choose to make dinners I think everyone will enjoy so that we can all sit together and enjoy it.

I'd rather do that than have 50% of the folk at the table choking down food they dont like on the basis of "I had to clear my plate when I were a lad". Given how much me and Mrs B enjoy food, I expect sitting round the table to be a pleasurable family thing as they get older. They wont get that notion that food is to be enjoyed if they dont get to enjoy it. All within reason of course.

Exactly, I’d rather sit round a table, where we all enjoy the food, than have to constantly nip or bribe one of them into eating it

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Missus was back at the doctors this morning with the wee man. The stuff we were using has helped a wee bit but still a lot of dry skin on his legs and arms, and a bit starting to spread on his back. Given her cortisone to use for the next few days and then to go back to the other stuff again.

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2 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Given how much me and Mrs B enjoy food, I expect sitting round the table to be a pleasurable family thing as they get older. They wont get that notion that food is to be enjoyed if they dont get to enjoy it. All within reason of course.

This is exactly it for us. We are both massive foodies and so far have been blessed with 2 children that will eat almost everything put on their plate. They are quite happy to try new, unusual foods too. I am a huge baby led weaning advocate which I think has helped so they have been eating exactly the same as us since they were 6 months old. We try as much as possible to all eat together and I'd say twice a month we'll maybe eat at a different time (don't let them have takeaway yet!).

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We only really eat together once every week or so. A Sunday dinner every other week when they’re with me, and maybe one night during the week. Would prefer it to be more often than it is, but they moan from about 3pm that they’re starving, and even with crisps or a bit of fruit, will never last past 5pm without moaning their heads off. Whereas we prefer to have dinner around 7/8pm, when work is done and have a glass of wine or whatever.

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Getting the fear reading this thread! Kids not wanting to eat, pissing themselves or not wiping their arse... f**k me I don't feel like I'm ready for this. I don't think I'd know what to say to them. Normal for a first time dad or am I alone in this fear. 

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3 minutes ago, thistledo said:

Getting the fear reading this thread! Kids not wanting to eat, pissing themselves or not wiping their arse... f**k me I don't feel like I'm ready for this. I don't think I'd know what to say to them. Normal for a first time dad or am I alone in this fear. 

Normal fear. If I can do it anyone can. Just mind folk naturally tend to talk more about issues and problems on this thread to get advice, in my experience of parenthood (and it's been some fucking experience so far!)  the positives far outweigh the negatives.

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There's a lot more to it than "giving in to him". You sound like my stepdaughter's partner, tbqh

As a general rule i stand by it - with quite a lot of flexibility built in.

Kids learn from us so much - and if we all eat differently then they learn that they get to choose whatever food they want, and that's not a great path to go down.

I fully understand that your grandson has complex issues regarding autism, and who knows what else. I hope they sort it soon. But for me bairnardo's post has it spot on.
The whole "eat what's put in front of you" is a bit silly tbh. I often adjust meals so that me and Mrs B are eating a slightly different meal to the kids but loosely based on the same. Kids cant be expected to take on adult tastes straight away and me and Mrs B cant be expected to eat kids food. Occasionally feed them then me and Mrs B eat when they go to bed but more often I choose to make dinners I think everyone will enjoy so that we can all sit together and enjoy it.

I'd rather do that than have 50% of the folk at the table choking down food they dont like on the basis of "I had to clear my plate when I were a lad". Given how much me and Mrs B enjoy food, I expect sitting round the table to be a pleasurable family thing as they get older. They wont get that notion that food is to be enjoyed if they dont get to enjoy it. All within reason of course.
Just to be clear, i wasn't advocating 'eat what's put down to you'. The battles that take place over dinners are horrible and damaging for everyone concerned.

My point was about not giving in to demands of 'chicken nuggets' or 'tomato pasta' - or whatever it is the child loves to eat.

Like you, you've got to plan wisely. If you're lucky enough to find solid family dishes they'll eat like lasagne, fish pie, bolognese, cottage pie, mild curries even - then they become great family moments.

Then you build in your choice dinners where you know there's a couple of things they'll eat as well as plenty other options on the table that they can try - and you can enjoy. My kids love eating dry bread or a dry wrap - weird fuckers. But they know they need to have a certain amount of other fillings (grated carrot, chopped peppets, cucumber, cold meats etc)

Every now and then we fancy a take away or a nice steak (on the rare occasions i can actually eat) and so they get a wee treat dinner.

Finding a couple of veggies that they like makes the the world of difference. A fish finger or chicken nugget dinner is absolutely grand if they're happy to eat the broccoli or peas next to it. And remembering that their taste buds change, so trying different things that they didn't like previously. Making trying new food an adventure, and giving rewards out if they gave it a good try (not easy to judge but it's important to stay positive).

All this is undone though, if you try everything and they don't eat - so you give in and make their favourite.
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6 minutes ago, pandarilla said:


As a general rule i stand by it - with quite a lot of flexibility built in.

Kids learn from us so much - and if we all eat differently then they learn that they get to choose whatever food they want, and that's not a great path to go down.

I fully understand that your grandson has complex issues regarding autism, and who knows what else. I hope they sort it soon. But for me bairnardo's post has it spot on.
Just to be clear, i wasn't advocating 'eat what's put down to you'. The battles that take place over dinners are horrible and damaging for everyone concerned.

 

If you "fully understood" that, you wouldn't make patronising comments like "giving in".

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36 minutes ago, thistledo said:

Getting the fear reading this thread! Kids not wanting to eat, pissing themselves or not wiping their arse... f**k me I don't feel like I'm ready for this. I don't think I'd know what to say to them. Normal for a first time dad or am I alone in this fear. 

After the first time their nappy overflows and you are cleaning shite from their armpits down, the rest is pretty easy...

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This one could go in the covid thread but I guess I'm more comfortable with it being here.

I've been probably about as militant as anyone in following the rules so far and haven't been one to look for loopholes and grey areas but the guidance today seems to say that physical distancing between young kids and other kids and adults is no longer required. This specifies outdoors but surely a hug is a hug whether it is indoors or outdoors.

For under 12s (0-11): The existing rules for contact with other households continue, but children under 12 are not required to maintain physical distancing with other children or adults outdoors. The number of overall household contacts in one day remains in line with existing guidance and adults will need to maintain physical distancing


With that in mind, would you say an overnight with a gran or grandad would be acceptable provided the adults themselves don't mix?

I'm so torn by it given how far we've come but having lost my gran during the lockdown and knowing the impact that has had on my mum's already fragile mental health, I feel a sleepover with her only granddaughter would be beneficial for both her and my wife who is burnt out by it all, but I am really not sure if that would go against the spirit of the guidelines as they are at the moment and I am also expecting next week them to announce the extension of family bubbles.

Should I wait it out or go for it?

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I'm going down to #perthshire next weekend to see our family and stay at my grans for a few nights. We've not seen any family since the middle of March. My grandpa and I are both shielding so we've rarely left our respective houses so feel it's safe and the right thing to do now. Our oldest has been getting quite emotional about everything the last few days so I am hoping a change of scenery might perk her up a little.

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This one could go in the covid thread but I guess I'm more comfortable with it being here.

I've been probably about as militant as anyone in following the rules so far and haven't been one to look for loopholes and grey areas but the guidance today seems to say that physical distancing between young kids and other kids and adults is no longer required. This specifies outdoors but surely a hug is a hug whether it is indoors or outdoors.

For under 12s (0-11): The existing rules for contact with other households continue, but children under 12 are not required to maintain physical distancing with other children or adults outdoors. The number of overall household contacts in one day remains in line with existing guidance and adults will need to maintain physical distancing


With that in mind, would you say an overnight with a gran or grandad would be acceptable provided the adults themselves don't mix?

I'm so torn by it given how far we've come but having lost my gran during the lockdown and knowing the impact that has had on my mum's already fragile mental health, I feel a sleepover with her only granddaughter would be beneficial for both her and my wife who is burnt out by it all, but I am really not sure if that would go against the spirit of the guidelines as they are at the moment and I am also expecting next week them to announce the extension of family bubbles.

Should I wait it out or go for it?
We've been the same as I said a few days ago on here. But given my eldest was starting to become quite distressed we let the grandparents have a cuddle the other day. The eldest's mood has been completely different since then and no word of a lie, the 4 of us had the best night's sleep in months the night after seeing them. So it was obviously effecting all of us.

I've a bad feeling D and G will be going back a step soon with the outbreak in Annan and Gretna, combined with the fuckwits who will try and get to Carlisle on Saturday for a drink. So that was part of my justification as well.

Providing you are sensible and other family members aren't mingling with everyone else then I'd judge it yourself. The benefits outweighed the risks for us personally at the time.
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3 hours ago, Rugster said:

Normal fear. If I can do it anyone can. Just mind folk naturally tend to talk more about issues and problems on this thread to get advice, in my experience of parenthood (and it's been some fucking experience so far!)  the positives far outweigh the negatives.

 

3 hours ago, MixuFruit said:

normal but you'll stop being disgusted by poop after day 1 (occasional olympic efforts aside)

 

3 hours ago, Ross. said:

After the first time their nappy overflows and you are cleaning shite from their armpits down, the rest is pretty easy...

Great.

Thanks. I think...

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29 minutes ago, MP_MFC said:

This one could go in the covid thread but I guess I'm more comfortable with it being here.

I've been probably about as militant as anyone in following the rules so far and haven't been one to look for loopholes and grey areas but the guidance today seems to say that physical distancing between young kids and other kids and adults is no longer required. This specifies outdoors but surely a hug is a hug whether it is indoors or outdoors.

For under 12s (0-11): The existing rules for contact with other households continue, but children under 12 are not required to maintain physical distancing with other children or adults outdoors. The number of overall household contacts in one day remains in line with existing guidance and adults will need to maintain physical distancing


With that in mind, would you say an overnight with a gran or grandad would be acceptable provided the adults themselves don't mix?

I'm so torn by it given how far we've come but having lost my gran during the lockdown and knowing the impact that has had on my mum's already fragile mental health, I feel a sleepover with her only granddaughter would be beneficial for both her and my wife who is burnt out by it all, but I am really not sure if that would go against the spirit of the guidelines as they are at the moment and I am also expecting next week them to announce the extension of family bubbles.

Should I wait it out or go for it?

Do it. My eldest 2 had a sleepover at my parent's last weekend, it was needed by everyone (although, typically, the youngest then spiked a fever that night so we still had an awful night's sleep).

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