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Pregnancy And Parenting


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1 hour ago, Scary Bear said:

So I’m the only punter on here with 3 bairns/weans?

See when I enter ‘win a family holiday’ competitions and it’s only for 4 folk. Really boils my piss. It’s discrimination!

Oh, I see there’s some bhoy character who has 3 kids too. I’m in distinguished company.

@Gaz has three too

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Where do the parents of P&B stand on the "well if she hit you, you hit her back" method?

I will clarify here that this is in relstion to my children. One of whom is 3 and far too hitty, and one is 5 and far too timid.

Mrs B goes with occassional hit her back advice. I tend to veer towards we dont hit anyone but am questioning myself.

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1 minute ago, Bairnardo said:

Where do the parents of P&B stand on the "well if she hit you, you hit her back" method?

I will clarify here that this is in relstion to my children. One of whom is 3 and far too hitty, and one is 5 and far too timid.

Mrs B goes with occassional hit her back advice. I tend to veer towards we dont hit anyone but am questioning myself.

It's a hard balance. We went with this tactic with hitty 6 year old v timid 9 year old. 9 year old is now also too hitty. I don't think there is a perfect answer.

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I’ve a mouthy 7 yr old who won’t take a telling. Could do with a good slap [emoji85]
I set the near two year old on the 5 year old when that's needed. He packs a wallop
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1 hour ago, RH33 said:

No I have three kids! 

But only 2 since the start of this thread.

I knew it was a mistake to publish the list before I got to the end of the thread...

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1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

Where do the parents of P&B stand on the "well if she hit you, you hit her back" method?

I will clarify here that this is in relstion to my children. One of whom is 3 and far too hitty, and one is 5 and far too timid.

Mrs B goes with occassional hit her back advice. I tend to veer towards we dont hit anyone but am questioning myself.

Do you have a naughty step? Try putting the 3 year old on that.

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4 hours ago, RH33 said:

I’d do that but she’d batter the older two. She’s a good 1.5inches and few kg bigger than her ‘big’ sister!

You can do serious damage with 1.5 inches. Life changing damage.

3 hours ago, Scary Bear said:

Do you have a naughty step? Try putting the 3 year old on that.

Yeah she goes on there plenty. She has mastered the art of the insincere apology and crocodile tears, but in her youth hasn't quite mastered the timing of a plausible denial. When I know shes up to something I shout her name and before I have even asked what she is doing, she rumbles herself by replying with "NOTHING DADDY!!!"

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Where do the parents of P&B stand on the "well if she hit you, you hit her back" method?

I will clarify here that this is in relstion to my children. One of whom is 3 and far too hitty, and one is 5 and far too timid.

Mrs B goes with occassional hit her back advice. I tend to veer towards we dont hit anyone but am questioning myself.
Very tricky.
It's a hard balance. We went with this tactic with hitty 6 year old v timid 9 year old. 9 year old is now also too hitty. I don't think there is a perfect answer.
Pretty much this.

Trying to teach a balanced, rational response is what you're looking for - and i guess the main thing is that kids will learn more from what you do in life than what you tell them to do.

If you react calmly when faced with shit that makes you angry, then they'll learn that. If you lose the plot with them (which we all do at times) - then it's hard to teach them not to react angrily.

Of course we want our kids to be able to stand up for themselves, without going too far.

But a discussion regarding proportionate response could be problematic for a toddler. Maybe watch the classic West Wing episode of the same name together, and take it from there.

Apologies for not having anything positive to contribute. But the fact that you're thinking about it, in my opinion, shows that you're already a good parent.
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6 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

When I know shes up to something I shout her name and before I have even asked what she is doing, she rumbles herself by replying with "NOTHING DADDY!!!"

When they're wee - up to about 5ish - silence is usually an indication that they are up to no good. And when you shout "What are you doing" the reply is "Nothing, Granda".

Lies. Lies, I tell you.

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9 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

You can do serious damage with 1.5 inches. Life changing damage.

Yeah she goes on there plenty. She has mastered the art of the insincere apology and crocodile tears, but in her youth hasn't quite mastered the timing of a plausible denial. When I know shes up to something I shout her name and before I have even asked what she is doing, she rumbles herself by replying with "NOTHING DADDY!!!"

How long are you leaving her on the naughty step? Let her do the crocodile, or real, tears thing. Wait 5-10 minutes or so until she’s had a cry and realised she’s in trouble and she doesn’t know how long she’ll be sitting there. Then go and see her and do the eye contact thing where you ask her why she did that, let her know that was wrong and if she does it again she’ll be back on the naughty step. Then she can do the apology thing and you both move on.

This is like a repeat of that Super Nanny show. f**k me, what has my life become.

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4 hours ago, Scary Bear said:

How long are you leaving her on the naughty step? Let her do the crocodile, or real, tears thing. Wait 5-10 minutes or so until she’s had a cry and realised she’s in trouble and she doesn’t know how long she’ll be sitting there. Then go and see her and do the eye contact thing where you ask her why she did that, let her know that was wrong and if she does it again she’ll be back on the naughty step. Then she can do the apology thing and you both move on.

This is like a repeat of that Super Nanny show. f**k me, what has my life become.

That's pretty much band on what I do with both of them and I am aware they are just wee kids they will squabble and fight. My issue is not so much with what the wee one does, it's the older one being so timid and getting really upset over things like a wee shove off her sister. I dont want her to go to school after summer with no concept of how to stand up to folk. 

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7 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

That's pretty much band on what I do with both of them and I am aware they are just wee kids they will squabble and fight. My issue is not so much with what the wee one does, it's the older one being so timid and getting really upset over things like a wee shove off her sister. I dont want her to go to school after summer with no concept of how to stand up to folk. 

Sadly I must have missed that episode of Super Nanny. What about a cage fighting class?

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My boy had umpteen reflection sheets when he started school last year. This was because he was used to fighting back with his two older sisters. I got sick of signing the fucking things. I think wee boys are worse.

What did you do? Punched Sam.

How did this make you feel? Sad

Who feels sad when they are punching someone? More like filled with murderous rage. 

Every time he got one he lost his iPad for a while. No Minecraft or Roblox or YouTube! Disaster.

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