Pregnancy And Parenting

[DarkBlue62]

I remember trying to do that with Mathew and I felt like I nearly drowned him.

[19QOS19]

3 weeks to go for us. Really excited now but still not in touch with the reality of it quite yet. At this point I'm not expecting it to become real until I hold him/her.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is finally being able to speak without worrying I'll give the sex away. I'm the only person to know the sex but because my wife didn't want to know I've been forbidden to tell anyone else. It hasn't been an issue up until lately when the conversations about the wee one are becoming more frequent. I said from the outset that I will alternate between "He" and "She" when referring to the wee one but even still I'm starting to feel the pressure

[banana]

None of it becomes real until you lay eyes on the fucker for the first time. A true WTF moment and in that instant everything changes. It's like The Borg take you aside to implant you with new eyes and rewire the circuitry of your brain.

[Gaz]

So today my wife went to see her mum and dad while I was out with the dog.

A bit of background for those who haven't been following me in the thread - oldest daughter is 4 and diagnosed autistic. Youngest is 2, too young for an official diagnosis, but it's clear she's going the same way (and will probably be 'worse').

Wife walks in to her mum and dad's to find that my niece and nephew are there. Niece (2) is playing away, nephew (4 months) is fast asleep. My mother-in-law gives a look when she sees my wife and our kids that says "oh no, I'd wanted a quiet afternoon with the 'nice' kids".

My wife tries to ignore it and our oldest goes to play with her wee cousin. She gets very excited easily and our niece gets a bit quiet. Mother-in-law asks niece what's wrong and father-in-law replies "isn't it obvious, she's scared of [oldest daughter]".

Now, I am fucking raging even reading that back, but apart from that it's the overwhelming sadness that it could be true. Our daughter is the sweetest, kindest little girl you could ever meet. She's so good-natured and wants to be everyone's friend. And she can't understand when people don't want to play with her.

[Tony Ferrino]

Has to be the answer...

 

 

[Gaz]

Thanks folks for your replies.

I'm still pretty angry but unfortunately we rely on them (especially the mother-in-law) for childcare, so there's nothing much can be done I don't think. And to be fair my wife did say that the MIL looked pretty sheepish when the FIL said what he did. Apparently my wife has spoken to her mum today and she was quite upset too. Hopefully it's just been a case of my FIL being an idiot.

In regards to toilet training, our oldest is showing no sign of being ready for toilet training, and she's four. We're not in any hurry.

[Adam]

Firstly Gaz, I know what you're going through. My eldest has Aspergers and it is a constant worry that other children are not including him. He is a lovely little boy and loves playing, but generally on his terms only.

Whilst I agree what your father-in-law said was completely unacceptable, even more so if your daughter was within hearing of it, I can sort of understand to an extent the look your mother-in-law gave. I love my eldest as much as a father should, but I do breathe a sigh of relief when my Mum has him, or his brother, overnight as I know I'm not facing difficulties between him and his brother or having to battle to get him to sleep. The two of them together can be an absolute nightmare at the best of times, and if your MIL does a lot of your babysitting I can see why she might have wanted a bit of peace at the weekend, we all need a bit of rest bite.

You should have a word with your wife's Dad. At the end of the day, he may be stressed as a result of having the kids, but they don't need to hear that, it helps no one. I am guilty of saying things out of turn occasionally when I'm stressed, we all are, and I always try to make amends if I do say anything out of place, so you should let him know how the comment he made made you and your wife feel. And if he doesn't like it then f**k him.

It's a daily struggle, and reading that someone else is going through the same (although in fairness it does sound like we have it mild in comparison), it does help. As others have said, if you ever need a chat, please feel free to send me a message.

[Lisa Cuddy]

Rest bite?

[Sergeant Wilson]

22 minutes ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

Rest bite?

Aye, wait till he's resting, then bite him.

[RH33]

family for childcare is great and can save a fortune but it leaves you in position of being indebted to them and also limited to challenging when you don't like what they do.

If the in laws don't see as much of the other kids then I can see why maybe they were put out. There is also ways and means to deal with kids who are possibly too much for others but what fil said was bit much.

if your wife's had a word think you might have to let it go. 

[KnightswoodBear]

My son is 9 months old now and he's more of a handful than his sister ever was.  Now that he's commando crawling everywhere he's into everything, usually shovelling it into his mouth.

He seems to have a particular fetish for shoes, primarily my slippers that actually smell so bad I hesitate to put them on my feet, but he happily tries to stuff them in his mouth.

[Shandon Par]

1 hour ago, KnightswoodBear said:

My son is 9 months old now and he's more of a handful than his sister ever was.  Now that he's commando crawling everywhere he's into everything, usually shovelling it into his mouth.

He seems to have a particular fetish for shoes, primarily my slippers that actually smell so bad I hesitate to put them on my feet, but he happily tries to stuff them in his mouth.

My daughter had a habit of eating bugs and spiders at that age. Now she's a fussy wee cow (aged 11). 

She's away on a school trip for a week and not allowed any phones, ipads etc so she's totally out of contact. 

[Rugster]

Daughter's had a heavy cold last few days, shite for her. Wife also. Shite for her too.

 

[KnightswoodBear]

1 minute ago, Rugster said:

Daughter's had a heavy cold last few days, shite for her. Wife also. Shite for her too.

 

You know that the next few years of your life are just an endless cycle of all of you being ill one after the other, aye?

Plus, your diet will be fucking your immune system into a tramps hat.

[Rugster]

4 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

You know that the next few years of your life are just an endless cycle of all of you being ill one after the other, aye?

Plus, your diet will be fucking your immune system into a tramps hat.

I'm the one who is not ill, and I'm the one who eats sandwiches with cold toasted bread. There's a pattern.

[KnightswoodBear]

5 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

You know that the next few years of your life are just an endless cycle of all of you being ill one after the other, aye?

Plus, your diet will be fucking your immune system into a tramps hat.

 

Just now, Rugster said:

I'm the one who is not ill, and I'm the one who eats sandwiches with cold toasted bread. There's a pattern.

Not yet.

[die hard doonhamer]

Daughter's had a heavy cold last few days, shite for her. Wife also. Shite for her too.

 

Sunday night - son sick
Monday night - daughter sick
Tuesday morning - wife sick
Tuesday afternoon - me sick

My house has been great fun this week.

[Rugster]

1 minute ago, die hard doonhamer said:

Sunday night - son sick
Monday night - daughter sick
Tuesday morning - wife sick
Tuesday afternoon - me sick

My house has been great fun this week.

Brutal. She's just over three months old so it's horrible seeing her like it because there's not much you can do to help with a cold really. We're using some nasal spray thing but it's not easy. I don't like anything near my nose never mind having something shot up your nostrils at 15 weeks old.

[banana]

Number 11 on the upper lip the current mainstay on the wee lass.

[The_Kincardine]

6 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Whats anyones experience of getting the weans to brush their teeth? My wee lassie now has a decent mouthful of them. Up until now we had been putting toothpaste on her brush and letting her f**k ablut with it in the bath and hoping enough biting and chewing of it was getting her used to it, but now I really want to know that shes getting an effective clean.

What age is she Bairny?  It's quite hard for weans to mimic the right way of brushing.  When we lived in Aberdeenshire the dentist in Banchory was brilliant and he and his 'dental nurse' were really patient and talked my three through good brushing techniques.

Take her to the dentist?