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  1. Sadly, the old top of the league house is no more. The volume of soiled pyjamas and burnt spoons - and that was just in the hot tub - was too much for the cleaners to cope with and the place had to be encased in concrete. For 2018/19, occupants will have to make do with this splendid Thomson Glenalmond Top of the League Caravan (see below). Current inhabitants Alloa Athletic are finding it to be plush and spacious and have spent many an hour at the clever fold down table explaining to their new derby rivals Falkirk the concept of being top of the league. Ross County spending untold millions on Champioship royalty like Declan “I can’t fucking believe he has missed from there” McManus doesn’t appear to be working out for them just yet. The Wasps have the keys. Ayr are hot on their heels but who will hook it up to the back of their open top bus and head off to the Premiership with it? Stay tuned...
  2. With Brechin currently in charge we can expect the hedge to be kept in decent nick. The salty tears of the Falkirk fans peering over the garden fence will keep the weeds at bay the longer they have to wait outside. Planning laws will prevent the place being painted tangerine. Feel free to drop in and lord it over all others as the season develops.
  3. A ball has yet to be kicked but Dunfermline are looking comfortable in 4th. The bottom of the league house still looks resplendent in monochrome and St Mirren yet again find themselves as custodians. Feel free to drop in to mock, prod the inhabitants with sticks etc as the season progresses.
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