th1stleandr0se

I do hope you perverts realise that you're leaving DNA evidence behind.

No, this is the one, as seen on the Picture Association thread.

Fuctifano. Actually, I wouldn't tell you even if I knew. I think I'm going to watch the World Cup with the sound down. Edited for spelling.

Patti Boyd. What a woman. She was the inspiration for Something by The Beatles, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and Layla by Derek and the Dominoes. What a CV.

What am I doing, browsing a Betterware site. But here, what's this? An Incredible Ear. Now I can listen to private conversations. That'll do me now that my Invisibility Cloak needs new batteries. Edit - you might want one too so here's the link. http://www.betterware.co.uk/productdetails.aspx?pid=056918&cid=107&language=en-GB And in my other ear..... http://www.betterware.co.uk/productdetails.aspx?pid=057638&cid=107&language=en-GB This is great fun. Cheers.

You're not supposed to cook with olive oil or at least not fry with it as it turns carcinogenic or something. Maybe a chemist can explain.

I hate the fact that stupid people are too stupid to realise they're stupid and shut up.

I was on a supporters bus going to a Junior Cup Final at Firhill and we approached via Springburn. One of the guys remarked on how many locals were wearing Celtic tops when they weren't playing that day. "That's just how they dress round these parts", I said. Then we drove round a corner and there was an orange band warming up. That's Glasgow for you.

The bookies make Murray slight favourite. Allowing for the fact that they might have reduced Murray's odds in the face of expected money for him it suggests they consider it 50-50.

I wear pink clothes. I do now anyway. My wife was away for a few days and I put a wash on. I didn't notice a bright red scarfy thing my daughter had added. I now have pink where white should be.

Well, it's official now. Those of you who know how this all works, is there a likelihood of Djorkovic getting back at Murray or is he "defending" too many points in the near future?

Able-bodied people parking in disabled spaces. I'm sure I've seen that on here before but it does my sense of fair-play in. IMHO there should be a guy standing there with a baseball bat ensuring that they qualify legitimately next time. Sorry if any of you out there are those I'm complaining about. Of course, disability can be mental as well.

Edinburgh's roads department. They must the only council to employ Traffic Obstruction Officers. More narrowed streets, chicanes and the like in the name of safety. A critical look at it shows that it has actually made it more dangerous. I won't bore you with details as I'm sure you can imagine.

The dandelions are reserved for the daughters' guinea pigs. They absolutely love them. I should maybe have a chew on one myself to see what's so good about them. Then again, the French name for dandelion is piss-en-lit or pee-the-bed, so maybe not.

Cheers. I'll have a look. I didn't fancy reading through the whole 20 pages just in case there was a mention.

I've just done my first three Munros but don't intend to go round ticking them off a list; I just want to cherry-pick some interesting ones. I was on Ben Lomond on Sunday, up the slog and down the more interesting Ptarmigan and liked the look of Ben Arthur (Cobblers to you ) but I read a couple of articles that suggested it's a wee bit tricky up top. Is that true? Also it seems to have three peaks. Is there a main one or do you have to do all three to have done it properly? Edit - I know it's not a Munro but that's not important to me.

Folk from the Czech Republic and Sweden using a Scottish football forum to talk about opening milk cartons.

One year, not long before we were due to go abroad on holiday, we realised that our younger child hadn't been added to our passports. So, after much queueing and begging we got the change made and went on holiday. To my great annoyance we scooted through border controls without anyone checking our passports. On the way back though, the British passport control was far more thorough and questioned me on dates of birth for the kids, etc. Now if I hadn't had the child on my passport on the way in, what would they have done? Confiscated her?

Moved on to the second album now. Bodhissatva. If any guitarist out there has never heard this track please, please look it out. There's more than one guitarist on there but Denny Dias is the man with the best licks.

I've just rediscovered Steely Dan's first album, Can't Buy a Thrill, from before they disappeared up their own arses. Brilliant guitar work on it and wonderful vocal hooks.

They call it incest.

I'm not a lady but my wife was so overdue with our first that we started living life normally again (or as normally as you can in that situation). A full two weeks overdue.

Get in touch with The National Childbirth Trust http://www.nct.org.uk/home. They have parenthood classes. Yes, it's middle-class and twee but there is some good info to be gleaned from the courses and, better than that, you meet other folk in the same situation and you realise you're not alone. However, nothing will prepare you for the moment when you walk out of the hospital with your wee bundle and you realise that it's your responsibility. It will change your life but, in my opinion, for the better.

If the best you've got is actually rifts, I'd give it up but if you actually got riffs and shite lyrics then you could be the new AC/DC.

I'm having difficulty reconciling these two.