A conversation I had with a jannie at the college. I was standing looking at an automatic door which wouldn't open.
Jannie - "Kin ye no read? It says press the button"
Me - "Aye, Ah can read and it says 'Automatic door'"
Jannie - "Aye, well if ye press the button it opens automatically"
Me - "If ye huv tae press a button it's no automatic"
Jannie - "Och, yur jist playin' wi wurds"