Ebanda's Handyman Services

Got called mate by a female nurse at my work last night. It was said in that nasal, neddy tone and I instantly felt sorry for whoever she was looking after. Thoroughly unprofessional.

You'd think a football song would reference this.

Why did Molly Malone have a wheelbarrow?

Any one of us who has ever played football could come up with an impressively edited YouTube reel. A hat trick I scored once would have made me look like I could score from anywhere and I was, by a majority of accounts, shite.

Don't know the politics of Gunter's departure and not really interested if I'm honest but the person who I heard is becoming the new kit man is a good, level-headed Rovers boy who I'm sure will do a great job. Anyway, get the strikers in McKinnon!

Sure I saw Wighton on the tv for Scotland U-17s a couple of years ago and he stuck out like a sore thumb then. Really looking forward to watching him next season.

The 200 Club is showing the ROI v Scotland game tomorrow. All welcome and all takings (from our incredibly cheap bar) will, as always, go towards the betterment of RRFC. Great atmosphere at the Rangers cup tie that we had on so hopefully we'll see a good amount in the club tomorrow again.

I once saw Prest in Jackie O's done up like f**k in a white suit, black shirt and black and white shoes.I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume his teammates told him there was a very strict dress code.

I was meaning Sparky but it could easily apply to big Shaun as well.Two excellent CBs.

Aye, agreed.I used to enjoy watching him contest aerial balls. Often worth the admission money alone. Funny when you'd see strikers either not bothering going up with him or going mental at whoever fired the ball at them after they'd taken a clattering.

Campbell is one of my favourite ever Raith players.It'd be great if Ally G could get him back to Stark's Park at half time.

Really disappointed to see Dougie leave. Heard ages ago that there was a good chance he was Pars bound. He'd be doing himself a disservice dropping down a division when he's more than capable of playing Championship.

If we can spend a bit extra on a couple of better players then I hope it would matter, aye!

Will Rangers staying in the league enhance the new gaffer's budget by much?

My allegiance should probably have dictated that I wanted Falkirk to lose today but my instincts had me supporting the fuckers! Cheered their goal and everything. Commiserations. Falkirk are usually there or thereabouts so I'm sure you will all soon have something to take your mind off falling at the last hurdle this time.

South stand will be on his back in nae time if he does that. #PrayforPetrieNot bothered about Scott moving on. It just didn't happen for him at Starks Park.

One of my favourite right backs in recent times.Brilliant when bombing down the right wing in his prime. He was kinda stifled when we were promoted again due to McGlynn understandably looking to keep things a bit tighter at the back.

I think Trouten has signed for Ayr United.

Calum Booth's stag do neebs.

I get the impression that it's a re-signing rather than a new player.

"Thanks for giving me life saving surgery. Have you got a tip jar cause I've got a fiver just choking to buy you a jar?" *winks*

Saturday past when my eldest was at his golf lesson at the local driving range I decided to hit 100 balls myself. Tipped my balls into the left handers bay (I'm right handed) and stood about like a total p***k whilst one of the staff had to lift up the mat and fish my balls out of the auto tee.

Eugene Porter hankering for a time before the zombie apocalypse.

Raid the laundry basket and sell your wife's soiled knickers online to Japanese perverts. Also, let me know when you are doing this so I can tell all my Japanese friends.

Poor wee East Fife, eh? Glad that Laurie is staying on. Great ambassador for the club and all round top man.