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Ebanda's Handyman Services

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Everything posted by Ebanda's Handyman Services

  1. Why did you change your team to 'Other' LM? I wouldnt admit to supporting pish like Peterhead either likes but I was just curious.
  2. In fairness the FFP does cover Raith quite a bit and need to make money through advertisements like any other company.
  3. That isnt too bad. £15 more expensive than Starks Park.
  4. The Home top with long sleeves is a cracker too. Dont know when it's out though.
  5. Absolutely spot on Monster. If my wee boy went missing I would do everything in my power to make sure that the abduction stayed in the publics mind.
  6. I wasnt born with the gene, I just worked relentlessly hard to perfect pissing women off.
  7. That whole rant is an unfair generalisation, a bit like me saying that all St Mirren fans jump on their high horse as soon as they feel wronged. I'm sure that the people on the end of the phone dont have a personal vandetta against you Stuart, unless you called up and said "Hello, this is Osama Bin Laden, can you please remove the charge that you put on my account due to late payment of my direct debit for my Fiat Panda." The whole world isn't against you man.
  8. Raith apparently played really well last night and I wasnt there to see it. There wasnt enough availability for a 1/2 night off due to people fucking skiving. Stop skiving you lazy fuckers, I want to go to the Rovers.
  9. I cant be done with all that pretentious shite so I'd have politely told them to get tae f**k. I get that all the time too.
  10. Something that is pissing me off right now is the Americanisation of our country and mannerisms. Sitting in the works cafe last night happily eating my pizza and chips I was disturbed by a load of spotty fucking baggy jeaned, bandana-wearing 'Wiggas' greeting each other with high fives and the like. I felt like reminding them that they arent from Brooklyn and that they just look like a bunch of fannies by speaking like they were but refrained as there were a lot of them and they may have attempted to "Put a cap in my ass " or something. Why do people try to be something that they're not? If they dont want to be Scottish anymore I suggest they f**k off over the water where they want to, but wouldnt, belong.
  11. 'Iggy' is a wee perv, he used to carry a video camera around with him and train it on unsuspecting women in the 'Auld Hoose'. Harmless we felly though, I think....
  12. Flesky is a fucking nutter, he'll punch you if you get close enough. Any of the Kirkcaldy folk remember 'The Addams Family'? Two children (In their thirties) and their mum and dad that used to walk around together all the time, they dressed like it was still 1970. I remember when I was a bairn, maybe about 8 years old I said hello to them on the passing and they just looked terrified, like they didnt know what to say back. After that they got the Addams family theme tune sang at them.
  13. The place is full of them, I quite like it, loads of people to laugh at although I do realise that being a Raith fan doesnt really give me reason to laugh at other people. I dont really deal with TV problems but if you ever have an Anytime PC/Mobile, interactive or Sky.com problem feel free to ask for me as I'm the only Andy in the department unbelievably. Remember to say, "I was dealing with a guy called Andy previously and he was bloody fantastic......"
  14. Next time I speak to her I'll tell her a routine to knock off her satelite signal.
  15. Tell me about it Gaz. I genuinely cant believe the stupidity of some of the people that call me. I regularly spend up to 10 minutes trying to get people to succeed in pressing certain number combinations into their remote control. Usually I advise them to get someone familiar with the working's of a Sky remote to try the routine...... Mrs Smith, you are fucking stupid, get your great grandson to try pushing the 3 button combination I've just told you.
  16. What is construed as a reasonable distance? The only two guys I can think of are 'Bottle John', a guy who used to go around searching for Barrs bottles as some sort of income I would imagine. 'Mr Thompson'. Residents of Overton Mains will be familiar with him. He once wrote an advertisement looking for a girlfriend and put it in the post office's window. At the bottom of the advertisement he wrote "Must have own teeth." Funny as fuck if not a little tragic. He also writes in to the Fife Free Press on a weekly basis complaining about all kinds of shit.
  17. I argue back. One guy said to me when I was telling him what to do to fix his PC problem that he'd worked in IT for 15 years and what I was telling him was bullshit. I said back, "If you've worked with computers for 15 years and you know my job better than I do, why did you bother phoning up in the first place?" Cue embarrassed idiot getting cut off half way through a sweary tirade.
  18. Why cant you take the chance if you like him? If he turns you down, so f**k, his loss.
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