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Ebanda's Handyman Services

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Everything posted by Ebanda's Handyman Services

  1. Tell me about it Gaz. I genuinely cant believe the stupidity of some of the people that call me. I regularly spend up to 10 minutes trying to get people to succeed in pressing certain number combinations into their remote control. Usually I advise them to get someone familiar with the working's of a Sky remote to try the routine...... Mrs Smith, you are fucking stupid, get your great grandson to try pushing the 3 button combination I've just told you.
  2. What is construed as a reasonable distance? The only two guys I can think of are 'Bottle John', a guy who used to go around searching for Barrs bottles as some sort of income I would imagine. 'Mr Thompson'. Residents of Overton Mains will be familiar with him. He once wrote an advertisement looking for a girlfriend and put it in the post office's window. At the bottom of the advertisement he wrote "Must have own teeth." Funny as fuck if not a little tragic. He also writes in to the Fife Free Press on a weekly basis complaining about all kinds of shit.
  3. I argue back. One guy said to me when I was telling him what to do to fix his PC problem that he'd worked in IT for 15 years and what I was telling him was bullshit. I said back, "If you've worked with computers for 15 years and you know my job better than I do, why did you bother phoning up in the first place?" Cue embarrassed idiot getting cut off half way through a sweary tirade.
  4. Why cant you take the chance if you like him? If he turns you down, so f**k, his loss.
  5. Have you not tried on the suspected homo at your work yet Lyn-Marie? Yoohoo.
  6. My Saturdays back then consisted of:- Wake up Shower Go to pub Go to football Go back to pub then on to nightclub Meet up with or call said girl woman to see if she wanted me to stay. Hubba Hubba, who's yer Daddy. Life is much more fulfilling now.
  7. When I finished with a girl I'd been with for 7 years I met this woman 10 years older than me. I stayed over at her house after a few drunken nights out and it was enjoyable, you know, but after a week and a half she had bought me toiletries for "When you stay here." Scared the shit out of me, didnt stop me calling her at half 2 when the nightclubs had came out though to see if she was doing anything.
  8. I own a pair of Brown cords. I use them when I'm going to a Golf course with a dress code. I'm a posh man in a Kirkcaldy tink's body.
  9. If his 'bedtime stories' help you get to sleep he probably does need binned.
  10. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Only joking. Be honest with the guy though and dont string him along............. Unless he's into that kind of thing and he pays you well.
  11. Unlike you, I dont sneak on to the back 9 with my Driver, 9 iron, putter and a few stray golf balls that you pilfered from the rough.
  12. I feel for you Phoenix. I play off 24 but last year I had the game of my life and scored a scratch 76 on a par 72. I think I was under for the first 9 too and if my game had been rained off I would have chucked my clubs in the nearest bush and went on a church burning spree.
  13. Folk would stop and ask why I'd superglued a maggot to my vagina if that was the case Monster.
  14. Dont forget the fact that the Japanese team are brilliant, I can see Japan winning the big World Cup in my lifetime if thats the kind of player they are developing. Two howlers by the 'keeper too, cut them out and we'll do alright I think.
  15. Got the wee boy this for his first birthday on Sunday coming.
  16. Spot on. People are weaker nowadays because they dont expose themselves to the elements. What a daft word.
  17. Natalie Portman is worth the watching though surely? Does she get her chebs oot? If not I'll give it 15 minutes from where I left it.
  18. Watched Ferris Beuler's day off all the way through for the first time tonight. 7/10. Started watching V for vandetta and it looked quite good but I couldnt be arsed watching the whole film so recorded it for another time.
  19. Coley suits his curly hair though and there is no danger he would sit still long enough for a haircut.
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