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Ebanda's Handyman Services

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Everything posted by Ebanda's Handyman Services

  1. You werent exactly starved of attention at the 5's were you? Plus I pictured the scenario like this, Andy:- "Hi Lyn-Marie, I'm 27/11." LM:- "Yes, so fuck."
  2. In Kirkcaldy?! I would wave to you when I came out of the car park lift.
  3. I've never, ever won any money on a scratch card. Probably because I've never, ever bought one. Where are you working now anyway?
  4. Lyn-Marie, listen to the Strokes, good things happen for good people (I dont know how that'll affect you) and fire your coffee in the microwave for 1 minute.
  5. Some people live to put others down Debbie and the person that sent you that message seems to be one of those arseholes. He'll probably tell everyone he meets today what a clever boy he is but they'll treat him with the usual contempt that they usually do. Good luck with the auction and I hope you have kept his address so you can get it right up him if you meet the price you're asking. Edit:- I meant the ebay message, not bluetooner!
  6. A wee bit like the 14 year old that let me into Central Park last week for a tenner?
  7. I know who you mean. He wears a pink coat now and again? I thought of another cracker. Auld Elsie:- She used to work in Peter Greigs across from Aldi and would chase you like a woman possessed if you shouted "Hiyyyyya Ellllllsie" in a patronising tone. Got done for assault on a Viewforth High child and had a moustache akin to Hitlers. My mum actually worked in the same place as her for a while and said that she was really nice but teetering on the brink of insanity.
  8. Cant blame you. As soon as I read it I thought about the possibilities. I'm stuck on cheating at the moment.
  9. Not now. I think she genuinely feels sorry for me with the hangover that I'm currently enduring.
  10. I've got fucking no chance of lasting until the night is over. I've had three cans (Three!) and I'm already feeling thon fuzzy headed way. I'll try and drink through it and see where that gets me. I wasnae even sure if I spelled three right, had to think about it for a moment. Those three (sp?) cans were consumed in the space of half an hour though so I'm still butch and manly.
  11. We got him a wee pair of Clarks boots and the wee bugger has started to undo the velcro on them. He's currently wearing his wooly hat while tearing about shouting "Tup o' tea".
  12. I'm stuck in the bloody house waiting for a new oven to arrive and my wee boy keeps taking his right sock off.
  13. On a lighter note, I snapped my swipe card for the canteen while trying to scrape ice off my car. Jack Frost is trying to kill me with starvation, he's realised that a shitey wee layer of ice wasnt paying dividends. Cue me spinning out on black ice and getting identified by my dental records tonight.
  14. It is very tragic and I do feel for their families. Your indignation would carry a lot more weight if you hadn't wished cancer on a fellow human being previously Kilt.
  15. Might do it tonight again, there was a few of them close to breaking point.
  16. I was pissing off my workmates last night by sending them - 'See Groundhog Day is being re-released for it's 15th anniversary.' by e-mail every 5 minutes.
  17. I got this great mental image of you ploughing through your class, punches being thrown in every direction.
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