Florentine_Pogen

Outstanding Fvckwittery - Typical Wacky..............

Mike.

They're going to shaft the Cooncil.

Today's (Deputy) PMQ's...........Dowden v. Rayner. ................John Crace in The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2024/apr/24/down-down-deeper-and-dowden-how-can-rishis-stand-in-be-so-useless "Dowden’s reputation precedes him. He is a man destined to lose even when he holds a rigged deck. His uselessness is near total. The only reason he was found a safe seat back in 2015 was because David Cameron was so desperate to get rid of him from No 10, where he had achieved the legendary status of world’s worst special adviser. If there was any justice he would have been sent to the Slough House for crap politicians. Just about the only thing he can do without messing up is open fetes. And that’s touch and go."

From Guardian :- Kev McCready gets in touch: “This is embarrassing. Other than Trent, LFC have no creative edge. And when did Mo Salah turn from baby-faced assassin to Kevin Bond?“ Drew: “Slot’s job seems fairly straightforward; find a place in Liverpool that stocks shooting boots since everywhere seems to have been sold out for months.” Alistair Lawrence is in: “Forgive me chiming in from pedant’s corner, but John Stones is arguably more a product of Barnsley’s talent factory. He’s definitely the reason my Super Reds supporting mate owns home and away England shirts with Stones’ name and number on them, in any case.”

Don't knock the boucherie chevaline.

@scottsdad I sense a definite case of 'Buy in haste (cheapest), repent at leisure' coming up over the next few months.

I hope that the company that make this flamethrowing dog have the smarts to call the product 'The Prodigy'.

Article on the Basque Country's Mondragon Corporation, the world's largest industrial cooperative. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/apr/24/in-the-us-they-think-were-communists-the-70000-workers-showing-the-world-another-way-to-earn-a-living

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/24/royals-william-kate-camilla-honours-monarchy-archaic "Then there are the military honours and decorations. Charles himself has accumulated dozens of medals, enough almost to sink one of the battleships under his command as a five star admiral. Oh, and he is also a five star general in the army and a five star air chief marshal in the RAF. What stupendous military service or acts of bravery have led to this avalanche of medals? Well, he did captain a coastal minesweeper several decades ago for a short period. And he has only crashed a plane once. The royals in fact have amassed between them over 100 military medals and decorations, and for what? Prince Edward, the Royal Honorary Colonel of the Royal Wessex Yeomanry, has never seen active service and even dropped out of his Royal Marines course because he couldn’t hack it." Apparently Nonce Andrew, the Puke of Pork will be bestowed with a special award:-

All life has been squeezed out of Fergie MacDonald, renowned buttonbox player. Fergie MacDonald MBE (24 April 1937 – 23 April 2024) was a Scottish accordionist who specialised in ceilidh music and played the button accordion. A trained physiotherapist and an international clay pigeon shooter, MacDonald is considered[1] to be the man who popularised the West Highland style of traditional Scottish dance music. Life and career Born in Glasgow, Scotland on 24 April 1937, he was brought up in Moidart. MacDonald topped the Scottish Singles Chart in 1966 with his tune "Loch Maree Islands". He was initially banned from appearing on the BBC due to the traditional audition process, but later became a regular feature on BBC Radio Scotland and BBC Radio nan Gaidheal. MacDonald toured throughout the world and released 23 albums. He was well known through the tales told by fellow Scottish accordionist Phil Cunningham as part of his stage act.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2024/apr/23/rude-patronising-and-out-of-his-depth-minister-michael-tomlinson-ticks-all-the-boxes "When Jeffrey Bernard was too pissed, hospitalised or generally unfit to file his weekly column, the Spectator used to publish the note “Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell” in its place. It worked a treat. Everyone knew precisely where things stood. Perhaps now is the time for the Tory party to do something similar. It couldn’t be any worse than repeatedly sending out underprepared ministers to do interviews in which they crash and burn. Far better to let the public think the government is half-witted, rather than to have it proved. Conservative head office could do worse than start with Michael Tomlinson, the catatonically dim illegal immigration minister. A member of the new moronocracy whose uselessness is only enhanced by the fact that he clearly rates himself extremely highly."

Aye, well don't feckin' leave us in suspense, Loadsamoney. Or are you too embarrassed to admit you've bought an Audi / BMW ?

Only slightly younger than Tam Cowan's rancid patter.

Any excuse to post this gem.............

Hugo Boss was responsible for designing & manufacturing the black Nazi SS uniforms and also Hitler Youth outfits. Was Grandad a straight-arm saluting rabid anti-Semite ?

That could be a real vote winner. How about starting with King Jugears 1/3 rd and Queen Horseface ?

So what ? Her new promotion at work should cover the cost.

"Please buy my hoose. Here's a photo of Bedroom 2."

@BFTD did you get the idea for this thread after seeing photies of lots of old smelly trainers in 'The Sellik Hoose' ? I have a Barbour full-length stockman's waxed coat which I received for my 40th birthday. I'm now 63. Even though it badly needs re-waxed and has a few small nicks and tears, it still gets regular outings on windy, rainy days and my wife howls like a feckin' hyena when a rearward gust of wind lifts the storm cape onto the back of my napper and makes me look like an annoyed frilled dragon. ETA - Frilled, not Komodo......D'oh !