Squonk

It's not to be sniffed at.

I've never heard of them.

Dear Official Statement Writer, Ibrox Park, Glasgow, Dundee Football Club notes the contents of your statement earlier today and our flabber was gasted at your use of the words ‘negligence’ and ‘unprofessionalism’ in the context of an event precipitated to a large extent by the weather. It seems to us that words such as negligence and unprofessionalism should instead be used sparingly to describe truly seismic events such as standing by watching your 140 year old football club plunge into liquidation and become defunct. Dundee FC has had its own flirtations with insolvency over the years, but we’ve always managed to stop short of falling into the abyss that is death by liquidation, unlike your predecessor. Negligence and unprofessionalism could also be used to describe reliance on a governing body to concoct a secretive five way agreement document, laden with non-disclosure clauses, that pretended liquidation somehow hadn’t affected your original football club, despite everyone with an IQ higher than a dung beetle knowing otherwise. While the comedy value of those events to the rest of Scottish football might be immense, Rangers Football Club, old and new, are and were a permanent embarrassment and an occasional disgrace, and that’s before we even consider the behaviour of the knuckle-dragging sectarian ‘minority’ that follow follows your club, or your club’s need to make money from them. Negligence and unprofessionalism might also describe a football club that cheated its competitors on an industrial scale for more than a decade and hid details of players’ earnings from the governing body, events that warranted title stripping or even expulsion from Scottish football, but which barely gave rise to a slap on the wrist. Against that magnitude of negligence and unprofessionalism, it would be entirely unfair for the authorities to punish Dundee FC for the vagaries of Scotland’s weather. Finally, I will be issuing Rangers* with an invoice in respect of the man hours spent by our staff this afternoon picking up the toys thrown out of your pram. Fondest regards, Nelmsy, Dundee FC.

You're only feeling superior because of your retractable roof and hover pitch. Oh no, wait a minute..........

Imagine trying to defend the indefensible armed only with semantics.

Surely the biggest question that should be asked by Celtic fans isn't about penalties, but what the f*ck has Rodgers done to utterly demolish the good work done by Ange Postecoglou? The dismantling of an impressively sleek machine into a disjointed mish-mash of ineptitude is borderline criminal. Kyogo looks a pale shadow of himself, which is hardly surprising since Rodgers has contrived to turn him into a bit part player rather than being the first name on the team sheet.

Dehydration does that to you.

It is related to football. The SPFL came into being in 2013, more than a decade ago. Some people wrongly call it the SPL, even now.

I think people wrongly conflate two separate issues here. It is simply factually inaccurate to call the existing league setup 'the SPL.' That is an undeniable fact, regardless of what your personal preference might be regarding the wording of the organisation's title. It annoys me in the same way as the younger generation's usage of words and phrases such as 'could of' and 'should of.' 'Of' and 'have' are different words with entirely different meanings. Don't get me started with the butchering of the English language, predominantly in various counties across England-shire, where abominations such as 'he were' and 'they was' are acceptable dialect variations. This, despite grammar being taught extensively and uniformly throughout childhood across the nation! I get that language evolves over time and that new words and phrases will constantly be added, but I have to question the point of having formal education if we are simply going to resort to pandering to the misspelt crayon scribblings of the poorly educated. Let's encourage stupidity by accepting and even rewarding it!

I agree, as it clearly hit Sima's shoulder. Making a big deal of it would be as futile as demanding a penalty for a handball, despite knowing an offside would rule the penalty out. If only clubs operating companies didn't have to assuage their rabid and entitled fans.

If Phillipe Clement has anything about him, he'll have studied what Brendan Rodgers has done to Kyogo and some of his team-mates in the past few weeks, then do the polar opposite with his own players. What Rodgers has done to Ange Postecoglou's fine work is borderline criminal.

In that same game, Celtic's Polish keeper Lukasz Zaluska swung a punch at the ball, missed, and nearly decapitated an ICT player in the penalty area. It's difficult to imagine a more stonewall penalty, yet play was allowed to continue. This inconvenient fact gets airbrushed out by Celtic fans keen to promote the handball narrative.

Thanks. I had you down as a harder nutcase to crack.

In a nutshell, that Charles Green's newco would be treated as if it was the old deceased cheating club, including the transfer of SFA membership, so long as he accepted certain conditions, such as the payment of the old club's football debts. The final version of the five way agreement was much less onerous than the first draft, which had included the stripping of five EBT-tainted titles, a title stripping condition that Green later made reference to, thereby confirming its existence. The agreement was mostly couched in legalise jargon in a futile attempt to convey authority, with the wording attempting to suggest that the football club had merely experienced a routine change of ownership, rather than succumbing to a fatal insolvency. Green would later tie himself in knots when trying to slither out of being held responsible for the sins of the old club, while simultaneously claiming to be the owner of that old club. To be fair, old 'big hands' won far more concessions from the football authorities than he might reasonably have expected, armed with the threat that he could spell the end of Rangers in any form if he didn't get his way. I haven't seen any drafts of the five way agreement on the internet for years now, which ties in with the cleansing of any material referencing the demise of Rangers in the ongoing quest to rewrite history.