FortescueFotheringhamSmyth

If I were a Bear, I'd be getting a mite worried after that... on top of the other performances this month.

Nor can the Pope requesting a membership form from the DUP, but it's not likely and I doubt either would go through with it.

I could write a bulky tome on the decline of football in Eastern Europe. I haven't kept current, though. In Soviet days, things were semi-franchised. Ararat Yerevan were the Armenian club that Moscow favoured. Nationalism was tolerated to an extent in the main stadiums in distant republics, so long as those chanting were good pro-Soviet Communists. Ararat qualified for Europe through the USSR League. In a lot of cases, the big clubs in the newly independent ex-Soviet republics were fairly easy targets for new regimes... and, of course, they lost all their best players to Russia or to Western countries when the Soviet Empire crumbled. Money-laundering Mafioso clubs, founded in the 21st century, now win titles. Very few people support them.

Used to work with a Dane. He could spit over the border into Schleswig-Holstein from his gaff. Hated Germans. Backed West Germany or Germany for £100 every major finals. Simply so he'd be less pissed off if they won. I can't ever see myself doing that with Ing-Ger-Lund though

Cummaawwwwwn yooooooooo Billeeee Boooyyyyzzzzzzz!!

That starting XI should be no more than evens on a -2.5 goals bet... Not that I'd be taking anywhere near even money about them winning by three or more

Only 33°c in Yerevan just now. Taps aff, definitely... but it's going to be 37°c at the weekend. Got off lightly. To quote the foreman in the opening scene of "Blazing Saddles":- "You'd think it was a hundred & twenty degrees! Can't be more than a hundred & fourteen!" **EDIT** SUSPENDED OR NOT, KEMAR ROOFE SHOULD BE ADVISED N-O-T TO WATCH THE OPENING SCENE OF "BLAZING SADDLES"

Today's Racing Post European Fitba preview is by veteran Steve Davies. He recommends a punt on Alashkert to qualify @ 9/1... reasoning Lundstrom & Roofe are suspended, Jack & Defoe are crocked and a possibly increasing list of Covid absentees. I still can't see it...& nor can many others, judging by the way Alashkert are walking in the market. Now 12/1 with Boylesports... who don't have many Bears in the majority of their flagship high street outlets.

Steve Davies does the football preview in today's Racing Post. Recommends Celtic to win tonight's game @ 19/10 - a price offered by a few bookies. ... He also recommends a speculative punt on Alashkert to qualify @ 9/1 with Betfair

I'd be pretty confident it's Covid-related. There's a huge number of threads on Miggs.Net whingeing that we need two #5s, a "proper half-back", two new strikers and a goalie. They will cost money. Consider how many beers £28 gets you in a city centre pub. How far does it get you on a train? Or in a taxi... even a taxi with club sponsors "Beep! Beep!" and a sub-minimum-wage driver? The Miggs.Net thread when they were announced as sponsors remains one of my all-time faves. The number of Mr. Pinks on the forum surprised even me: "They can quit & get another job!" "Learn to f**kin' type!" "The words "Day off" shouldn't be in a minicab driver's vocabulary!" Being able to spend even £10 on a football match is way beyond the means of many people. As is buying an organic fruit preserve from the food hall at Jenner's or Harvey Nix. Or having a cleaner in to do your house every week. Or taking a fortnight's holiday in Barbados. Frankly, all four are about as necessary as learning to recite the full screenplay of every Star Wars franchise movie word-for-word... and about as high up the list of priorities for anyone actually on or below a realistic poverty line. Still, mustn't let reality get in the way of waving the Red Flag and singing "L'Internationale", in support of mythical, downtrodden "communities"... and railing against "Evil Tories"... must we? Right! How many downvotes will this get? I'll set the spread at 10 - 12.

You're at least 15 years behind me. Maybe more. I blame the education system.

Alashkert no value at 4/1 in my view. The team that put them out of the Champions League - Sheriff Tiraspol - have just qualified for the groups. Basically a Russian club from a secessionist micro-state in the eastern bit of Moldova. Backed by an "Oligarch." (Laws on defamation prevent me giving the Italian translation of "Oligarch") Hoyed out surprise Albanian champs Teuta, Alashkert, Red Star Belgrade & Dinamo Zagreb to make the groups. Tonight's XI was 2 Brazilians, 2 Colombians, 2 Greeks and one man apiece from Peru, Luxembourg, Mali, Ghana and... ehhh... Moldova. Subs from Trinidad, Guinea, Serbia, Malawi and Bosnia. I doubt they're on anywhere near as much as the Sheep or even the Spoonburners pay... but a fish supper costs more in Aberdeen that the 50 kopeks it'll probably set you back in Tiraspol. It can be done.

Could do with you marking Highers and A-Levels. Those doing it now are like Eric Jennings refereeing the Chelsea v. Leeds FA Cup Final replay.

Today's Racing & Football Outlook. Ian Wilkerson does the preview. Opts out of a result recommendation: suggesting "Under 2.5 Goals." This has seemingly copped in 10 of the last 13 Old Firm games, which sounds about right. I wouldn't be investing heavily on it being a tight game this time around.

There was a thread on Miggs.Net a while back where most posters were convinced Clancy ticks the "Worshipful Master" box on forms where most of us just tick "Mr."

Tesco have blue, white & red bags. I thought a man of your class would shop at Waitrose.

Ian Wilkerson does the preview in today's Racing & Football Outlook. Recommends a Celtic win on the night.

Just make sure all the excitement doesn't turn you into the Wealdstone Raider.

FT: Alashkert 0, Sevan 0. First point of the season for Alashkert. Still no league goals though. Made four changes from the XI at Ibrox.

...Football, Scotland and all right-thinking people being so committed to opposing stereotyping & discrimination and supporting "anti-racism"... Whatever that is

The lower orders here pathetically try to imitate frat boys... but with little that could be classed as humor... and none of the class required to humor those with whom they take issue. I believe the term still used at my old school is, "Oiks." You'll become accustomed to them.

Celtic 1/7 to qualify... which is a tad over the top! AZ 9/2 to qualify with Bet365 and 24/5 with the Armenian bandits V-Bet. There are worse 9/2 shots this week. AZ 7/5 in 90 minutes. Celtic 15/8 with Victor (& 23/12 with V-Bet).

Alashkert 9/1. Rangers 3/10. Draw 9/2. Rangers 1/16 to qualify. Alashkert 14/1.

Saints 13/5. LASK evens. Draw 23/10.

6/5 Aberdeen with Boylesports. 9/4 Qarabag with Bet365. A very skinny 11/5 the draw is the best you'll get. Billy Hill goes 15/8. Under 2.5 goals as short as 4/6, but generally 7/10. Mansion go a generous 10/13.