FK1Bairn
-
Posts
800 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Store
Posts posted by FK1Bairn
-
-
36 minutes ago, Arbroathlegend36-0 said:
Had been suffering from depression for too long without my loved ones, friends or the people who I work with knowing. Was my little secret and everything was a show when around people including my wife. In October I listened to a voice in my head (been in my head for a while) and I was going to hang myself from the upstairs banister. Had everything ready my wife was out with my youngest child and my oldest was at nursery so I knew I had time to do what was needed. What saved me that day was my wife forgot to take bottles for my 5 month child with her. Seen the doctor next day who put me on sertraline. Got told I may get worse before I get better with the tablets as it takes roughly 6 weeks for the meds to take effect. Suicide attempt number 2 took place not long after where I took a lot of pills somehow my Mrs was suspicious on what I was doing so came to check on what I was doing and she stuck her fingers down me throat which got what I took out.
Seen a new doctor who I took a liking to and felt I could trust her and could come out of this dark hole with her help. For me I didn’t know why I felt so low, depressed, tired and basically so useless. I’ve got a wife, 2 kids, a house, full time job and no money troubles so for me I had no reason to feel how I was feeling. The doctor said you don’t have to have a reason which is true but for me I needed a reason. I asked for my bloods to be took for an under active thyroid as it was borderline a few years back and this came back as underactive. Levels should be 0.5 to 2.0 mine was over 100. One side effect of an underactive thyroid is depression.
Everything started to get normal after getting on the right meds and after 4 months off work I returned to work in January. As people do work mates was curious on why I had so much time off work and if everything was fine. I was open and honest to my work colleagues and told everything what had happened.
Unfortunately after 4 days after returning the voice in my head came back and wouldn’t leave me alone and I took a drug overdose while my wife and kids slept. The Mrs found me and was rushed to hospital by ambulance where I had my stomach pumped. The voice in my head failed again and told me better luck next time when trying again.
Straight away I had the mental health team come and see me in hospital and for a month after my release from hospital. They helped me with routines and things I can do if I ever got back to the dark place which has really helped me.
Mrs never fully understood how I could do this especially with having such young children. My children was my motivation to get past this darkness. Walking my daughter down the aisle or seeing my son getting married had always been on my mind and motivation on why I needed to keep going in life. When the voices came into my head them things didn’t matter to me and i was totally numb to it all and I was fine about killing myself and the kids not having a father in both of their life’s. The motivation for me now is still my kids but I’m not thinking about the future and them possibly getting married. They need me in their life’s right now whether that’s playing Barbie’s with my daughter and watching frozen for the millionth time or changing my 9 month old son’s backside while he’s smiling at me. They both need a daddy figure now and forever and I’m no use to them dead.
Been back at work for 3 weeks where I’ve told people the story of what’s happened. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of what I’ve done as I was down a very deep hole and I couldn’t see a way out and the voices in my head told me it was ok to do what I was doing. Luckily I’ve not had any voices since January and I’m on the road to recovery. Take every day as it comes while keeping a positive mindset. Still got a long road ahead of me but I’m feeling good about myself. Also getting tested for autism/ADHD. Unfortunately I’ve got to be 3 months stable before I get a diagnosis but spoke to a specialist who is leaning towards Autism but won’t know until May time when I get my full assessment done.
Depression is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. The hardest part is opening up and admitting it to people about it. Once you’ve done that then get the help and support you need to get you through it.
Sorry for rambling on although if one person reads this and feels the same as I have done and makes them want to get the help then thats all that matters.
A lot of what you've said is so true. The stigma of mental health illness is still around and needs tackled head on. Talking about it or even getting it down on here hopefully helps.
Thank god your missus found you each time and together you got the help you needed. You're still here to be a husband and father and ultimately that's all that counts. If your suicide attempts had been successful then your employer would have replaced you in weeks, in the grand scheme of things money really isn't important.
Keep on talking, sharing and taking one day at a time. Good luck mate
0 -
5 minutes ago, Raybowski89 said:
If Yeats is offski, could we get Stephen O'Donnell? Not good enough at international level but would be great in the championship.
Doubt we could afford his wages
0 -
It's absolutely up to each individual person whether they want to contribute a bit more to buying a season ticket. Personally I plan to buy a season ticket for myself and my son next season for the first time as if nothing else it will save me more than paying at the gate. I've been to every home league game this season bar the 3-2 Montrose game and its cost me £340, would have saved myself £98 had I bought a season ticket.
2 -
2 hours ago, Springfield said:
Slightly off subject, and borrowed
from FB, taking the knee (Simon style)
I remember this well! Didn't he then flick the ball over a Hamilton player almost straight after kneeling on it?
0 -
Based on Accies form in the last 7 games or so, I thought they'd be our toughest game but that yesterday was an utter canter for us. Didn't need to get out 3rd gear, Miller and Nesbitt were brilliant, Tait and Spencer won the midfield battle and the defence kept Hakeem Rose quiet with the exception of a few half chances. Shout out to Hogarth as well, nothing to do all game but still had the concentration and alertness to pull off two saves to keep the clean sheet
Also, how many times did Miller say "Invincibles" in his post match interview? The players have a determination to do it and for their sake rather than the fans, I hope they do it.
Accies were poor, continue like that and they won't go up
1 -
Just now, Scotty Tunbridge said:
800 odd in the home end for a nothing game, I’m not too worried.
Is there shite 800 odd there, 400 tops!
0 -
1 hour ago, scottsdad said:
Coke Zero gives me the shits.
I've tried the stuff twice, had migraines the following day each time.
0 -
16 minutes ago, Tea and Busquets said:
I think I’d be disappointed if we didn’t go unbeaten now considering the position we’ve played ourselves into. No club outside of the old firm has went a full season unbeaten, not in the 4 professional leagues anyway. That would be a monumental achievement, far greater than winning the league in a two hours race.
A two hours race? That would be a marathon which I guess 5 seasons in this league is. The finishing line is in sight, let's get over it
1 -
4 minutes ago, Rocco said:
Spencer extending his contract?
Yes!!
7 -
Anybody go along to the stadium this afternoon for the Scotland u16 girls v Switzerland friendly?
I knew nothing about it until my partner phoned me at work to say she was at the game with our son who only found out about it when he was having lunch in the restaurant. I went along after finishing work and caught the last half hour or so.
There's another friendly between them on Sunday afternoon but it's great to see our stadium being used for international football again.
1 -
1 hour ago, Harry Kinnear said:
That is bloody superb, that is our future
The kids were singing Championees as the players walked out, it was brilliant to see and the players were loving it
9 -
11 minutes ago, Rizzo said:
For our third, is the chap who was standing on the goal line claiming for offside?
I think it's more a claim for offside against Miller but he's never off.
I kept expecting the flag to go up at Alfie's goal, watching it back on Alba I can't see how Shanley isn't impacting on the keeper when Alfie shoots but I'll take it
1 -
Well done to Stenny in clinching League 2 yesterday. Seem to have stumbled over the line a bit but once you're over that line nobody cares.
Hope you all enjoyed your night. Based on Falkirk's league title win, you'll all be buzzing for a long time yet
0 -
57 minutes ago, Kircer bairn said:
See Man City fans stolen our Amarillo song
Plymouth fans have also stolen the MacIver song
0 -
5 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said:
That reminds me - hats off to Montrose FC. No jobsworths in hi-viz trying to stop the party, no extra barricades around the pitch, no haranguing over the PA. We were made to feel welcome from the moment we arrived in the town - the cafes, pubs and kebab joints were great. Many thanks to the Legion keeping their lounge open for visiting fans even though they had a wedding on. The cops were good natured and just kept an eye on things without being arseholes. Although there were huge queues to get in the ground, they moved quickly with no hassle. Well done to the Montrose team for the guard of honour, although bending over to take seven was maybe a bit OTT
Full of respect for Montrose, my favourite wee team now.
Agreed. I'm sure Ross said on Falkirk Daft that Montrose supplied the champagne as well but I might also have imagined that. If they did then that's amazing hospitality from them
12 -
1 hour ago, Numbers_One_To_Eleven said:
I think there was a decent manager in MacKinnon btw. I think timing and circumstances done for him in the end.
And the fact he was nearly as much of an arsehole as Hartley
0 -
18 minutes ago, Long Suffering Bairn said:
Anyone know how to report someone who is trolling you?
Ignore them. If red dotting positive posts gives them a kick then let them bash on.
9 -
how good was Sam Long's save from that header in the first half?
6 -
We've just won the league at an absolute canter, smashed 7 goals past our opponents but there's always room for a moan.
The shambles to get out of Links Park last night! One small gate for nearly 2400 fans?
0 -
25 minutes ago, Ned Nederlander said:
Col Donaldson btw - the slagging that guy took last season - they should make a statue of that big b*****d standing on the ball in the second half.
He has been brilliant all season and was my MotM today which seems a strange thing to say when we've just scored 7 goals from 5 different scorers and his CB partner had two assists but his organisation, talking to players through the game and his general leadership as well as the fact he never lost a header or tackle all game.
5 -
What a day! Seen us win a few Division 1 titles in my time but today I got to enjoy a day out with my 8 year old son and my father in law watching us stroll towards the title.
I'll openly admit on here that after spending 6 seasons refereeing on saturdays I fell out of love with football for a few seasons and even when I did go to games I couldn't have cared less about the result. My son has now got into football in the last two seasons and I'm loving the time we get together. Hearing him singing Falkirk songs when he wakes up and goes to bed this week, celebrating with him today when the title was confirmed then being on the pitch at the end are things I will remember for the rest of my days.
We've now watched the goals on Alba twice since we got home and seen footage on social media of the players in BTW tonight. A great day to be a Falkirk fan.
Thank you to John McGlynn, Paul Smith, the coaching staff, players and BoD for the direction the club is now heading. The Ultras/Young Team have made a massive difference and deserve a lot of credit, seeing fully grown men - some of whom seemed to be in their 70's - on the pitch singing and celebrating was brilliant and shows the togetherness around the club.
11 -
Since we're back on the rotation of goalkeepers debate, this was put up on the BBC website earlier today. It's about Brighton rotating their two keepers this year but has similarities to our situation.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/68657908
For what it's worth, like most people I'm not a fan of the monthly rotation either and wish we could just pick one and stick with him until he either gets injured, sent off or loses stupid goals through mistakes regularly. Every time there's a rotation, whoever comes in looks a bit rusty to start with, loses some silly goals, plays themselves into a bit of form and then drops out again. Long made the mistake v Annan in his first game back and has now played himself into a bit of form. He could have a blinder tomorrow but come next week will be on the bench again.
If that's all we have to complain about this season then I'll take it
1 -
Hi Mo fans
I'm coming up with my son and father in law tomorrow, likely arriving about 1ish to go for food and make a day of it for the wee man.
Any recommendations on good places to eat?
0 -
19 minutes ago, Rizzo said:
Does anyone happen to know if they're still selling the FFC dog bowls in the shop? I can never seem to get through on the phone.
They were last time I was in. Shop probably closed today though.
0
Pregnancy And Parenting
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
Couple of stories about my wee fella over the last month or so that shows he's growing too quick;
Got married to his class girlfriend at school before the Easter holidays
He was among thousands of Falkirk fans on Links Park and knows all the words to a number of the songs
Away on a caravan holiday in the first week of the Easter holidays and he took himself away to the grassy play area which had two sets of goals and played football with other kids. Up to about xmas time he would have wanted his mum or I to take him over and wait
He was doing Goalkeeping coaching through Falkirk Community Foundation since November but for a number of reasons - lack of coaches mainly - that all seems to be stopping. This week he has joined a local football team as a goalkeeper, gone to 1 training session and played his first ever match tonight. Very proud parent tonight