The Derry

3-0 Dundee. Relegate County after the match.

Would've taken the draw beforehand.

I honestly couldn't name that many Dundee players. Nobody asked you, though.

Listen it got a little sexual there. I blame the tension in the air.

The only thing I'll be dropping is your trousers and I'll be smacking your bare arse in front of aw yer pals. See you then.

Is this pre or post match so I can book you in?

No because you're being cheeky, you dumb bitch.

You'll walk into a left right goodnight if you keep that cheek up.

Nah you'd never be invited to a Dundee party you wee doofus.

Any Hearts fan looking for a pre/post match fight, please DM me. Bring your kids/wife/parents.

f**k Rudi Skacel, f**k John Robertson, f**k Robbie Neilson, f**k Juanjo, f**k Christophe Berra (not really he was good for us), f**k Mark De Vries, f**k Craig Levein, f**k Thomas Flogel, f**k Stephane Adam, f**k Craig Gordon, f**k Roman Bednar, f**k GMS, f**k John Souttar, f**k Suso Santana, f**k Ian Black, f**k Andrew Driver, f**k Laryea Kingston and f**k Hearts of Midlothian.

That Extabeguren must have given away a world record amount of penalties in his time here. Honking.

Charlie boy to lob that geriatric halfwit in goal for them from the half way line. Ashcroft to body that ginger doofus up top. Cammy to kick GMS into the fucking stratosphere. That's aw I want.

I have nothing against the big man but Cummings has to be first on and not Sheridan.

Buzzing for wee Leigh, what a boy.