KirkieRR

I will be hillwalking in the Campsies, avoiding all public places and licensed premises, mentally preparing myself for the weekend's big event, the South Challenge Cup final at Broadwood next day. I will try to avoid my neighbours on either side (SELLICK!) and two doors up and across the road (RANJURS!) before and after the Bigotry Derby. None of them, by the way, ever go to games, any games. If I bump into any of them beforeheand the conversation will run something like this; 'Ye watchin the game the morra?' 'What game's that?' 'The cup final! We're playin Sellick/Ranjurs!' 'Och, naw. I'm no interested in that.' neighbour assumes bemused, slack-jawed expression

If anybody fancies real fitba, the day after the Hampden re-enactment of the Northern Ireland Troubles, it's East Kilbride (maybe a league team by then) v Kirkie Rob Roy (probably relegated by then) in the South Challenge Cup Final at Broadwood. Ho hum.

I'll be hillwalking in the Campsies.

Ta, guv, where are the rest of us supposed to live?

I'd watch yourself when you get back to the clubhouse, though, if it has telly.

'The second for Cyriel Dessers, and for Rangers, leaves five Hearts players slumped on the Hampden turf. They know that two goals in 10 minutes is a huge mountain to climb with tired legs.' From the BBC web feed. If that's true it does raise questions about those players attitude.

I await the Sevco POST-MATCH STATEMENT condemning sectarian singing and demanding that the club be banned... hang on...

I suppose there's no possibility that Sevco today, and SEllick yesterday, played ineligible players, Queens Park style? These are straws. Let me clutch them.

Marks Cup Final Day in diary DO NOT GO OUT - BOARD UP WINDOWS

Presumably the large new settlement on the eastern edge of Inverness. ICT being the local team they walk away from.

There's a simple way to reduce the number of meaningless games in bigger leagues; increase the number of relegation places at the bottom, and the number of promotion and play-off places at the top. Not one that goes down well in boardrooms...

C'mon Jambos, sort this. An Old Firm final will see our city largely destroyed, covered in layers of vomit and jobbies through which surges a tide of cheap lager-fuelled urine, while domestic abuse levels will go off the scale. It's your duty to prevent this.

Or possibly the editorial regime of the programme in question.

You think a dramatic cup semi like that would get noticed? Think again. Just watched the sports bulletin in BBC Breakfast. Practically wetting themselves over extended coverage of a one-goal English Cup semi. Then more gushing over the Moneybags Premiership with interviews etc. Then a brisk mention of the Scottish semi where we saw the winning penalty and nothing else, moving swiftly on to extended, lovingly-described coverage of England's women's rugby mismatch v Ireland. They really don't care any more, do they?

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