HamiltonWest

I normally enjoy a Killie away day and the kid is a fan of empire biscuits with squirrels on them. After the Thistle debacle, however, the lure of baked goods is not strong enough to tempt me down the A77 today.

A 7 goal thriller? Since it looks like Accies will never score a goal again, the 7 goals will have to come from your lot meaning the pumping you hope for is duly delivered.

Thanks, @Caledonian, that is as good as I hoped for. The first line of the tale sets up the farce perfectly.

This sound like a great story, tell me more. I'm imagining this starts with the Ayr manager making a call to Alloa enquiring after "the big lad with the moustache" or some other vague description.

Pretty sure it is John Major [emoji1787]

For @djchapsticks and anyone else interested, this is how it played out with William Hill... After withdrawing funds from WH, my balance showed £0.00 but once they had updated the result and my bets no longer showed as won, the balance went in to the negative. At that point, I assumed the game was up, it was all a bit of fun and nothing would ever reach my bank account. I was wrong, the money appeared in my bank account before I went to bed but the WH balance was still showing negative; I assumed, I would just burn the WH account and have to fund someone elses fur coat habit but wrong again. Today my WH balance was back at £0.00 and the money was still in my bank. I've deposited a couple of quid with WH and it was accepted so assume I'm not blacklisted; it is a very small amount of money they lost so I assume it is not worth their while upsetting me as they assume they will get the money back over time. Looks like I have some free money that will be duly invested with the local curry house tomorrow. I suppose I owe @djchapsticks a beer for bringing the anomoly to my attention; if we're in the same league once we can go back to games, remind me about this debt and I'll hapily discharge it in a hostelry of your choice (as long as it is child friendly).

I'll report back tomorrow and let you know what happens.

They paid out on Anderson as first goalscorer too. I have hit the withdraw button!

Ha, they appear to have paid out on my big bet! Wonder how long that £6.50 will stay in my account before they realise the cock up.

Even if we had just signed Messi and Ibrahimović, my levels of optimism wouldn't be rising.

Guessing is all we can do these days.

Need to find out who coaches these guys...

Who's phone number is that on the screenshot?

As Coventry Saint says, this is fraud. The player and others involved in the scheme could be sent to prison but unless Alan Maitland has gone full-on Bernard Tapie, I can't see the club being penalised. In this era of big data, getting involved in a plot like this is ultra risky. Have a read at this article from a few years back - https://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/inside-secret-fight-against-match-fixing-football

I was following the game during the week on Twitter and Superscoreboard said Ogkmpoe was the goalscorer. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt as a genuine bad eyesight related mistake as both Moyo and Oggy were in the box when the ball hit the net. The Record, however has no excuses for this. After the BBC's Kobe/LeBron balls-up the other week, you would expect picture editors to be more vigilant.