Chicken George

There's a lot of commotion about Lloyd Cole and I know the other signing will turn out to be the real Kakay.

Match day prediction: Celtic's filthy corrugated iron pigsty to fall down and do the rest of Glasgow a favour.

Announce Jacqui Low marauding down Firhill St with the warpaint on.

Thistle feeneeshed

This McGarry guy has only appeared on the scene since Caldwell / Painted face arrived, my money is on Painted Face feeding sh**e to the papers and making us tabloid fodder. Good riddance she's gone, although you wonder why she got to where she did in the club.

Painted Face can get in the sea.

Peter Grant sucking lemon face 0 - PTFC 2

Manpreet at 8/11 in parallel Cuddliest Mascot competition.

Saw him booking into a hotel in Kinross along with other golfers a while back. Still looks like he'd do us a turn. Was some player.

His brother Jock can play a good supporting role too.

Forgive my daftness but who is that? Ainsley Harriet

Menny Killer no good. Ball just bounces off him. Shea Gordon Rubbish. Saunders a huge liability. Mid-table season ahead (at best).

Jacqui Lowe leaves us. Announce direct replacement and very distant relative, Joachim Loew.

When allocating squad numbers I'd give her one.

Good luck to wee square heed

Chien Lee = Feeneeshed

And even then he doesn't attend, just loiters at the gate...

Jings, Helpma and Bob got the others.

^ Aiden McGeady after an Amsterdam stag-do

We gonna be like

As long as we stay at Firhill.