House Bartender

Thanks for that. Breaking upfield is one thing, but the plan is to to stay out of the box.

I had a routine follow-up scan a few weeks ago and in simple footballing terms this is what ensued... The referee studied the pitchside screen, saw nothing wrong, and with a few reassuring words waved play on. However, the standside radiographer waved his flag indicating he had seen a possible enfringement in the box. As a result the referee called in VAR to check. As you know, getting a VAR decision takes a very long time, so I'm in a very long queue waiting for the video ref to take out his camera and look to see if there has been an offence up the tunnel. Some time next year. Meanwhile developing symptoms and a Faecal Immunochemical Test suggest that I may be looking at a penalty. So the GP is trying to help me jump the queue. Or, to put things differently, as Rory Gallagher once sang...

I really can't bring myself to read any of the last 18 hours of this thread. Hope you've all been having fun.

Genuine reason to be cheerful. He's just 14, but with practise and your TorodeandWallace-like encouragement he'll soon discover that being a decent cook is the real babe magnet. No flash car needed. Wish I'd known that as a teenager.

Right handed, two left feet (and no, not big team found)

Not Aiberdeen then?

See also tonight's Aberdeen v The Rangers thread. Duk v The Orange. But that looks good. Good luck to the bairn from here on!

Nostalgia break time. I found it in the back of a cupboard..

Eduardo Galeano's "Football in Sun and Shadow". A mini history of football from the viewpoint of a Uruguayan writer and fitba fanatic. Coming from a South American perspective it's way way different from the European view and all the better for that. The translation seems to leave a bit to be desired but worth a go. Written in 1995 but with an "Extra time" section taking things up to 2010. There's lots of politics here ( the guy was in exile for years ) and a distinct distaste for FIFA, commercialism, history's bad guys and above all racism. Built of lots of wee sections and focusing around World Cups, he describes individual goals, pencil portraits of players, wee stories and the beautiful game in all it's glory and disgraces. For the 1930 WC "Third pace went to the United States which had among it's players several recent Scottish immigrants". On Pele : "When he executed a free kick, his opponents in the wall wanted to turn around to face the net, so as not to miss the goal". At the 1978 WC (remember that?) "General Videla pinned a medal on Havelange during the opening ceremonies... A few steps away, Argentina's Auchwitz, the torture and extermination camp, was operating at full speed. A few miles beyond that, prisoners were being thrown alive from aeroplanes into the sea." "Goal by Gemmill" "Scottish player Archie Gemmill got the ball from his countryman Hartford and kindly ask the Dutch to dance to the tune of a lone bagpiper. Wildschut was the first to fall, his head spinning, at Gemmill's feet. Then Gemmill left Suurbier reeling in the dust. Krol had it worse; Gemmill put it between his legs. And when the keeper Jongbloed came at him, the Scot lobbed the ball over his head". The fate of the 1942 Dynamo Kiev team after beating the occupying Germans and other tales are pretty shocking., but plenty uplifting too.

Can only reiterate all that has been said above. Thanks for posting the news Alan and please make sure his family see what has been written above. P&Bers have a habit of posting what they really mean and this here is no exception. As the auld song goes, there's only one @Jimi Shandrix

Been there, done that, had the whinging users and kickings. So well done - not excessive downtime. Hopefully posters can now stick Kenneth William up again.

Best bit of that is watching long shot of them driving north ; cut to inside the car and they're driving south ; then cut back to external of them driving north. And it appears to be the road to everywhere. Unless they always stop off at the Inversnecky.

Be fair. It's not nearly as good as you describe.

Bit of obsession with Kings this week doon Govan way.

Australians? And you'd need damn good eyesight (or be a dachshund) to read the small print relating to the * and ** * Crisp packets cannot be opened at the top of the bag. ** Fresh Fruit is available as tomato ketchup on the bleugh looking toastie.

Looks like it was a Jags bespoke edition. "Presented by Courtesy of the Club" suggests it didn't come direct from the League.

Seriously? Is he not getting on a bit now?

Something for the WC instead? Switching on the BBC News channel this morning I was greeted by a wonderful WC chart with the bold heading "England's Route to the Final". "The Route" perhaps, as it applied to all involved but a bit presumptuous naming one. As usual.

Not you, ease back on the paranoia. I was thinking of the miscellany of legal actions in which the 2012s regularly find themselves.

Just makes a change from being involved in law suits I suppose.

Switched on... heard the inevitable topic...switched off. But caught Dorrans saying "...I think that is my opinion".

Satan's Minions (2012 Ltd)?

Losing the will to live seeing the results. However Trimper's Haunted House has that wee bit of the surreal in it's favour. And Hoffman's appears to spring nostalgic from my youthful drinking era.

Damn. You've stuck that tune in my head. Won't go away for days now. We rented too at first. There wasn't that much money washing about to buy one.

Looks like your diagnosis of them is better than their's of you.