Aim Here

Next time, try doing it with the ball still in play.

I'm not. I'm under the working assumption that whatever parallel dimension we've bounced into that continually has mad shit going on like Rangers' bankruptcy, President Trump, Brexit, the 2016 Scottish Cup Final and the Coronavirus Lockdown is actually Heart of Midlothian's worst possible timeline. It'll be fine. We're going to win. We're just hapless puppets in some malevolent celestial entity's eternal metaphysical torture of the other half of Edinburgh. Just roll with it and see where it takes us.

Don't think so. He's been on the bench. Porteous and Hanlon are the better options for centre back at the moment.

On further reflection, I think the examples of Bolingoli and/or the Aberdeen eight show a clear path to ending old firm dominance this season. If we can just persuade a few nubiles of the appropriate gender to honeytrap the Rangers and Celtic squad into rulebreaking behaviour by dragging them out to packed nightclubs and dirty weekends to coronavirus hotspots on the continent, we could tactically remove parts of the OF squads before vital games, by a timely leak of incriminating selfies to the footballing and public health authorities. I suspect it'd be much, much, cheaper to pimp out suitably attractive hotties to professional footballers than it would be to hire players to compete with them on the pitch. The major snag would treading the fine line between using the tactic so often as to make a difference on the field, without using it so often that Nicola Sturgeon bans Scottish fitba' altogether.

I suspect it's a similar method to the way that Scotland can completely revitalise the national team and get a deep run in the Euros/World Cup by tweaking the domestic league with colt teams or larger leagues or having Neil Doncaster stand on a soapbox and shout 'youth development' through a megaphone in Buchanan Street on Saturday afternoons.

Currently the word on the street (and on the SPFL website) is 'in due course'.

Jeez, youtube needs to make it clearer what I'm watching. I've spent the last 15 minutes watching something labelled "LIVE BETFRED CUP GROUP STAGE DRAW" with a running chat stream and just realised I was watching last year's draw.

Not possible. But Dundee United are there. The Jambo season is going to be a succession of grudge matches isn't it?

Yew shouldn't pine for him or willow in self-pity. He had a decent innings.

As well as Gretna itself, Dundee, Dundee United and Hibs show that there are certainly crackpot millionaires having a wee go at the fantasy football. We just need a better class of crackpot.

People are asking the wrong question. It's not whether anyone can stop Celtic's 10 in a row. It's whether anyone can stop Hibs' 10 in a row.

Technically, he's not an Aussie yet. He's only ever been played in friendlies, partly because they crocked him before he could start in a competitive match.

Journalists have to keep an eye on the opposition anyways, as part of their job. It likely takes about two minutes out of their day to go from 'reading the papers to find out what the BBC missed' to 'writing one sentence on each of the main stories in the press roundup column'.

Part of that is that Livingston had Efe Ambrose out of his comfort zone and playing left wing back to mark Boyle, and left Doidge and Nisbet and Horgan running riot elsewhere. If Boyle's one contribution to the match is having the other team randomly shuffle their formation about to contain his perceived threat, he's not doing so bad.

With last season's premiership results from football-data.co.uk and using the Bet365 odds on the table, surprisingly you'd make one For an outlay of £300, you'd win £331.10, so £31.10. Very decent. For Rangers, you'd lose £4.30, off £290 outlay (they had a postponed game) For Hearts, you'd lose £126.50 If you spent the season betting against Hearts, you'd win £80.10, though that would require remarkable foresight. Edit: The big money is in betting ON Hamilton, or against Rangers; £118 and £136 respectively, though that's on the strength of Accies beating Rangers at Ibrox for about the 5th time in a hundred years, which would have net you £210..