Swami

Looked like a nailed-on penalty to Ross County to me. Not sure how it wasn’t given.

Sounds fucking horrific.

"What are you doing here, you’re playing football the wrong way!” Grumbled Malky quite racistly.

I talk shite.

Slattery playing well, O’Hara would be as well sitting next to me.

Grimshaw looks terrified of the ball here.

Just think how good we’re going to be when Mich’el Parker is up to speed.

Can’t really do that any more, on account of how absolutely massive we are these days.

‘Alexa, get me Motherwell’s contact details to submit a complaint. They know too much’.

I’d imagine some of the responses were along the lines of ‘I was at that shit-show at Dens a couple of weeks before, and f**k watching that again’.

I’m a wee bit disappointed about the ‘b*****d’ quotient so far. We were led to believe it would be a team full of them. Slattery is quite b*****d-y but there doesn’t seem to be much else. Maybe Alexander unleashes the inner-b*****d. I suppose Lawless is a b*****d of sorts.

Announce Van Veen again.

Ian Wright, w**k, w**k, w**k, Ian Wright, w**k, w**k, w**k. Sang to Ian Wright.

Surely we should just fling another couple of mil at them and take Falcao as well? Might not get in the team above Van Veen right enough.

This is still, and I think it always will be, the single worst game I have ever been at.