Mel Hutchwright

I think I've got something in my eye.

Went to see the documentary last night and it's well worth a watch. Scabies tears got me right here.

If you're prepared to see past his deranged mispronunciation of the word 'pasta', then you're a far better man than I.

I too feel as if I have a Chetna shaped hole in my heart. Here she is in happier times, overcoming adversity to present her Swedish Princess Cake on time... Remember her this way.

I thought that Chetna was more deserving of the sheriff's badge than Richard. She is my favourite mind you. This is entirely down to her baking prowess, and nothing at all to do with the fact that I kind of fancy her.

We're talking about the destruction of a mans Baked Alaska here. The outcry is completely justified.

That whole Baked Alaska drama has left me ashen-faced.

The other thing about Jordan is that he looks as if his personal hygiene may be less than exemplary. I don't much fancy sampling anything he's kneaded with his grubby paws. Putting aside such negativity, I do really like both Chetna and Norman thus far. I was happy that the latter squeeked through last night.

It doesn't seem right having a Great British Bake Off hate figure, as that's far more of a Masterchef thing, but Jordan really isn't making things easy here.

I envy you. It was never in doubt for a second, but it's nice to hear that he is lovely in real life. Talking of lovely things, that black lamb was adorable. And to think that some people eat them.

Oh I don't miss Ruby one little bit. It's Howard I pine for. Rarely, if ever, has there been someone on television who I've yearned to befriend so badly.

I think Jordan may grate on the nerves before too long.

Brendan's gingerbread birdhouse is still the standard that all contestants must aspire to reach. Indeed, whenever I don my pinny, I affix a photograph of it above my mixing bowl to inspire me.

Iain puts me in mind of a young and fashionable Richard Stilgoe. I think he'd be quite pleased by this.

Steve Evets, the actor who played the lead role in Ken Loach's Looking For Eric, played bass in The Fall. Given that roughly 46% of people from the Manchester area can claim to be ex-Fall members, this is a deeply underwhelming piece of information. I really shouldn't bother even posting this to be honest.

A few days back I discovered that the shouts of "guilty!" on Erasure's wonderful Drama! single were performed by none other than The Jesus And Mary Chain. This newfound knowledge has not only made me a happier man but, I would argue, also a better one. Here's the video, although, regrettably, neither Jim or William Reid make an appearance... Anyway, fascinating music trivia, you must share some for pity's sake.

He seems to be a pretty well liked character, and is frequently cited as being 'the nicest guy in rock' , but there's just something about Dave Grohl that really irks me.

The girl below from the Nokia ad. I don't really have any hard and fast evidence supporting this, but I think she may be the embodiment of true evil...

I looked into becoming an adventurer a few years back, but it's really not as exciting as it sounds. It's mainly filing and minute taking. Sophie's a worthy winner.

I've wrestled with this overnight and, although The Man may not like it, I'm not going to recognise white pudding as a type of sausage. I shall continue to classify it alongside the likes of black pudding, haggis, plum duff, tiramisu, red pudding and Angel Delight.

I never realised that white pudding is part of the sausage family. I feel a bit foolish now.

I did not care for that whole friendly rivalry angle that Charley Boorman and Jason Connery were playing up one little bit. Whilst typing that sentence there, it also struck me that I don't care for the way that Charley's name is spelt.

Yes, I first became suspicious of this claim when I immediately recalled that he was on Come Dine With Me two or three years back. For crying out loud Wayne, if you must tell lies, don't do so about something that was broadcast to the nation. I'm a little disappointed in him.

Trevor's flat cap affectation irks me.

I'm at a loss for words...