Barry Ferguson's Hat

Just back from the hospital there. I don't remember it, but I must have spewed my ring then fainted after City got their third. My mum came into the basement to see me keeled over, my jammies absolutely caked in sick. Apparently excitement can do that to you. I was on a drip all night but am right as rain now. Honestly one of the greatest days of my life yesterday, shame I couldn't see it through to the end, though

I had to take a lie down in a dark room. There's only so much you can drink in.

So here we are, the end of another incredible season. It's always a bittersweet occasion when fixture 38 rolls around. I think back to all the wonderful moments throughout the season; the goals, the saves, the drama and how, throughout all the depressing news headlines, the Barclays English Prem is always there to turn to. I'm so grateful to the 20 clubs that have made up this fine institution and although I'm sad that it's over, I have to consider just how happy I am that it happened at all. As we go into these last fixtures I think everyone should take a moment to consider just how lucky we are to have this on our doorstep. Indeed, I moved back from Australia as the time difference made watching these games very difficult and it was putting strain on my marriage. She still left me, but it was a good decision nonetheless. Anyway, for the last time this season... AND IT'S LIVE

Mbarcláys

It's absolutely insane that a town literally called 'Dungfailmlame' has been awarded city status. Yet another example of East Coast bias.

You couldn't write it.

Timber.

The Falkirk loyal will be gutted.

Good to see the Falkirk loyal enjoying themselves.

Hearing that Colin Doyle is close to signing in a playing capacity.

Drink it in. You'll never see anything like this ever again.

It's pretty sickening that Jamie Vardy has seen it appropriate to play today in the midst of this court case. There are more important things than football ffs.

Arsebroth

I fucking love gossip.

The new franchise has already confirmed that the Scottish Championship will be included.

Dungfailmlame Pathetdick by name, Dungfailmlame Pathetdick by nature.

And his indefatigability.

He looks like he's just filled his jobby-catchers.

Downfarton

Just think how many he'd have scored from RWB.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Scotsman. Finally Pickford has been pierced.

Arsebroth.

I always said that if Killie went down, they'd struggle to go back up.

Barclays Championship La Liga Bundesliga Italian League French League

Sizzlers sounds class.