HibsFan

Will sign now, an excellent initiative and I hope Lewis can get along to games soon. It’s a disgrace that only four clubs have sensory rooms and - with no offence meant to Cappielow or Morton - it’s hardly a stadium that brings “first class facilities” to your mind. If they can do it, clubs like Hibs, Hearts and Aberdeen have absolutely no excuse. I know, for example, that Hibs converted the old corporate boxes in the Famous Five into a community space a few seasons back. I can’t see any reason why one could not have been made into a sensory room. The Hibs fan rep, Kieran Power, is usually quite on the ball with investigating things like this, so I’m going to write to him and ask what Hibs have been doing and if/when sensory rooms will be getting introduced at Easter Road. Personally think it should be a mandatory requirement for all stadiums though, to be honest.

I created the Chronicles of the Banter Years thread, do I look like someone short of time?

Have you considered growing up a bit?

I would genuinely ban the phrase “it isn’t VAR that’s to blame, it’s the people running it!” until people can get it into their thick skulls that we (the anti-VAR lot) already know that that’s what VAR is, and that’s precisely why we don’t want it.

This is what my Grandad started following Hibs for in the 30s right enough.

Shankland and diets do not belong in the same sentence, he is so fucking fat - what the hell is going on with Hearts’ conditioning team?

It is the problem. Technology opens the door to re-refereeing football matches with decisions that are totally subjective. The laws of the game are not black and white, technology does not fix this and never could. It absolutely is the problem because it cannot stop poor decisions, because what constitutes a poor decision?

The forelocks won’t tug themselves.

For recent: see “since 1874”.

Mediocrity is obviously relative, nobody is trying to dispute that. What I, and any right-minded poster, is saying that - even for a club like Rangers - calling European final + Scottish Cup + League title in the past 24 months “mediocrity” is a ludicrous shout. The only way it could be mediocre is if you’ve signed up to support Rangers with the expectation that they win everything and dominate everyone. In which case, you have the mentality and worldview of an egotistic child.

I agree with your point, but if Celtic or Rangers didn’t win anything for thirty seasons straight then I think you’d see some (most) of those “I support the same team I supported as a kid) fans vanish into thin air; only to magically reappear when they started dominating again.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say no reasonable person could support them, but you must admit that it certainly takes a stunted, child-like mindset to pick a team because they win all the team and never manage to get bored of it. They make Marvel movies that are less one-sided and more interesting than Celtic’s current and Rangers’ 1990s dominance.

Yep, it's also very often untrue too. Earlier today I had a quick click on our friend Johnny's profile (his recent media was a combination of Scottish football meets busty women ) and was shocked to discover that he regularly attended Cappielow in the early 60s as a kid. He's been supporting Celtic for "more than 55 years" apparently. Two googles later... ...and... ...we have our answer. Probably just a total coincidence, mind you.

They get to go and soak up the Spanish sunshine before and after their pumpings. We trudge through to Glasgow and stare at a pole in winter every few months for ours.

We can all stand down, everyone. Johnny has come along and helpfully solved the problem for us. Apparently right, all we need to do to close the gap is sign Aaron Mooy when he's a free agent. Don't sweat the small stuff about things like wages and whether his career ambitions align with playing for Ross County. You see? He's a free agent, that means that any club in Scotland could have signed him. Well done to Celtic for being sooooooo clever and realising that when the rest of us didn't. You really do deserve all of those trophies for having the smarts that our silly little clubs just can't possess.

How I’m choosing to imagine this conversation went:

An actual fucking supporters club called Leith Celtic btw. Frankly, I simply pity them. They are life's losers, without the moral fibre or character to support an actual football team. Clearly they are lacking the emotional maturity to follow a club who actually might lose a domestic game more than once or twice a year. So off they go to Glasgow, in search of something "more". The vicarious feeling of superiority and dominance that they don't get in their miserable lives away from football. That special feeling of being accepted in a cult of fellow weirdos, oddballs and divorcees. I look forward to their early exit from Europe - and the subsequent gnashing of teeth and wailing - more and more every year. F**k them.

Some things never change.

Odd because we’re regularly reminded that they’re Scotland’s third force. And yet they seemed to get a harder time off Morton?

A comment @Monkey Tennis once made that stuck with me on this topic was that, and I'm probably butchering the retelling, the non-Old Firm teams should be allowed to handle the ball and run with it, such is the level of inequality we've reached in Scottish football.

Gee, why did the magical box operated by referees from Lanarkshire tell him to have another look? It sure is a mystery!

Gate money split and a salary cap introduced. Of course, Rangers fans would oppose that - and fair enough - but surely the World's Biggest Socialists™ in the East End would be up for it?

Because he correctly saw that Kent slipped and put his foot on Egan-Riley's leg to make contact, I'd imagine. That Raskin challenge could easily have been a red and probably would have been if a Hibs player had done it at Ibrox.

I know the “we’re good and they’re bad” thing gets a little bit tiring but come on to f**k. They are just the lowest of the low. Their song, fascist ditty about murdering Catholics. Our song, two brothers from Leith paying tribute to the area.

Like clockwork.