HibsFan

They're only sheep-shagging b*****ds.

When she tells you that she’s fifteen:

I’m sorry but I’ve called this game every step of the fucking way.

The only derby where eight minutes of additional time is actually crueller for the team without the lead.

Have you ever watched one of these games?

Don’t be, it was coming from a fucking mile off.

For Hearts, aye.

I’m utterly desensitised to it at this point. Hearts are ahead without playing well and Hibs have been on top and converted nothing. I’ve grown up my whole life with it.

That’s their derby blueprint and they’ve been executing it flawlessly for 148 years.

Wish I was quicker with getting money on in-play stuff, because as soon as Porteous gave away that needless free kick it was so obvious what was happening next.

You do not need a full 90 minute performance and you never have needed one in a derby. What you need is your two customary screamers that ping in from nowhere or a scrappy stramash that ends with an unknown player scoring. The rest of the game you can actively be trying to sabotage yourselves and you still won't lose. See last year's semi final for more.

Have they replaced the word 'pumping' with 'losing' again? Funny how when Hibs lose a derby 3-0 it's a pumping and yet when Hearts lose 8-1 on aggregate to Fiorentina and 7-1 to the Istanbul mob it's just losing instead.

I recognise Lucifer in that photo but who's the comedic mascot in the United shirt?

To be fair, the ASC have a track record of going after Tory c***s.

Four shots on target in 80 minutes somehow producing five goals. They’ve broken the concept of xG, truly Satan’s club.

To quote an ancient Kickback proverb, I like my vermin confident.

And we’ll be expected to say nothing and let this rampant sectarianism continue. Protestant Action would blush at how shameless this lot are.

Lmao.

Hearts penalty, Shankland converts, waddles away shushing the Aberdeen contingent. Hearts get away with a penalty/red card incident. Neilson (shatteringly bald) comes out in his post-match interview with a 'look over there!' distraction and claims an Aberdeen player should've walked instead. Multiple Hearts players come off with 'knocks' to try and keep Lee Johnson second guessing. Craig Levein smiles down from above watching it all.

Deep down, they have to live with the knowledge that it’s utterly meaningless. Reaching a final is one of the biggest joys of football, and they see it as a ticking-off exercise. It’s the sort of behaviour you’d expect from a 5-year-old before they reach an age where they can understand a basic concept of fairness.

Bridge for sale!

Football is becoming a wider and wider chasm between the haves and the have nots across Europe and something needs to be done about it, because teams like Celtic turning the cups into a procession is good for nobody.

Another plucky break for those pesky underdogs of Midlothian! Where would they be if the referee ever gave something against them? Ah yes, that’s right, back to the second tier.

Would you like to guess the last time Hearts won a game without also being given a penalty? It was in October, by the way.

Haha time for Hibernian.